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OP, if you attended a Bible study at the creep's house, does this mean that at that time, you and he attended the same church? If so, I would recommend speaking with the pastor about what happened. I'm not sure what, if anything, he could do. But I think it would be helpful for him to be aware of the situation, especially if the man still attends this church.
I would say, if you're worried about the safety of other kids in his life (which I assume is your concern), it's better to contact his church, etc. and let them know, rather than putting it out there on blast for your Facebook friends (how many will care/be affected by it?). IOW-- do what will actually bring results (him not being allowed to be around kids).
And if anything had happened to his stepson, hopefully the stepson wouldn't still allow his own kids to be around this guy.
Yes, this. As it was, when I DID find out, I told everyone I knew, that knew him.
I think yesterday...when I came across his name, it brought up a bunch of old memories, and how disgusting he is to me. I don't have NEW info on him...I was just, oh I don't know...I want to see him pay I guess. I was just upset by it, all over again.
I don't think that's unusual. We have long memories about things that hurt us.
I have a friend whose brother-in-law (this man was married to her husband's sister) was sexually abusing the children that his wife was watching in their home. This was long ago in the days before you had to have daycare licenses, etc. She just took in small kids during the day and then kids came for after-school care.
The man was charged and went to prison and died while he was incarcerated. My friend's husband also died young, and as it turned out in their old age, the friend and her sister-in-law ended up living next to each other in a townhouse complex miles from the town where the abuse had occurred. This child abuse case was now about forty years in the past. The sister-in-law always seemed to me to be like a shadow who barely spoke. She just stayed home and read books most of the time, didn't drive, and was only visited by her adult children who lived nearby.
She has since died, but before she did, my friend was talking one day to another neighbor about some neighborhood event that was going on, and the neighbor nodded her head toward the sister-in-law's house and said, "I won't go anywhere where I have to look at her." She went on to say her niece was one of the abused children and that "she knew what her husband was doing and she never stopped him. She's just as guilty as he was."
I have a tendency to think that this man also was abusive to his wife and by her demeanor, she was likely totally cowed by him, even long after he was dead. But this woman was still angry at the wife of the man who had abused a child in her family, decades after the event.
So, you're not alone in holding a grudge about someone doing something nasty to a child of yours. All you can do is hope that what he did comes back around to him.
I think there are a lot of cases like that, MQ. When my daughter was 3 yrs old I felt she needed some socialization and play with other kids while I cared for my newborn son so I put her in a home daycare 3 morning a week. After about a month, I was bathing my daughter in the bathtub and I decided to have the talk with her about inappropriate touch of private parts. She looked at me and said "even if they say they love you?"
I freaked out (stayed calm in front of her) and immediately called my husband. We were just floored. I yanked her out of that place immediately. I never said anything to the woman, just didn't go back. She called to ask where my daughter was and I gave a phony excuse. They knew where we lived and I couldn't prove anything anyway. Soon I found out from another mother that the daycare woman was lining kids up to use the bathroom and flushing only once at the end. Disgusting. Not only that, the side gate to the backyard was left unlocked. Not only that, I learned she had taken in 15 children when the legal limit in CA was 7 at the time. I doubt the woman wanted to do anything that would prevent $$ coming in, and she was probably so busy with the other 14 children that she didn't noticed what he was doing and if she did, didn't care. The guy was slimy and though I cannot prove it, it could very well have happened. We did not press my daughter too much on the issue, just moved on.
A couple years later I ran into a woman and her son at the grocery store. I asked if her son was still in that daycare and she said "oh yes!" and acted like the daycare woman was a friend of hers. Again, I felt I could not say anything. I will always wonder whatever happened to that boy at that house. One cannot be too careful with home daycare or any daycare or private home for that matter.
Sexual predation is rampant in our society, likely always has been but it's probably much worse now.
I think there are a lot of cases like that, MQ. When my daughter was 3 yrs old I felt she needed some socialization and play with other kids while I cared for my newborn son so I put her in a home daycare 3 morning a week. After about a month, I was bathing my daughter in the bathtub and I decided to have the talk with her about inappropriate touch of private parts. She looked at me and said "even if they say they love you?"
I freaked out (stayed calm in front of her) and immediately called my husband. We were just floored. I yanked her out of that place immediately. I never said anything to the woman, just didn't go back. She called to ask where my daughter was and I gave a phony excuse. They knew where we lived and I couldn't prove anything anyway. Soon I found out from another mother that the daycare woman was lining kids up to use the bathroom and flushing only once at the end. Disgusting. Not only that, the side gate to the backyard was left unlocked. Not only that, I learned she had taken in 15 children when the legal limit in CA was 7 at the time. I doubt the woman wanted to do anything that would prevent $$ coming in, and she was probably so busy with the other 14 children that she didn't noticed what he was doing and if she did, didn't care. The guy was slimy and though I cannot prove it, it could very well have happened. We did not press my daughter too much on the issue, just moved on.
A couple years later I ran into a woman and her son at the grocery store. I asked if her son was still in that daycare and she said "oh yes!" and acted like the daycare woman was a friend of hers. Again, I felt I could not say anything. I will always wonder whatever happened to that boy at that house. One cannot be too careful with home daycare or any daycare or private home for that matter.
Sexual predation is rampant in our society, likely always has been but it's probably much worse now.
Yes, I had a friend who heard from a girl she had grown up with in her hometown. They had both moved to different areas when they grew up, and this old friend reached out and got in touch when they were in their forties. And over the next few days, my friend started having these memories return about sleeping over that girl's house and the girl telling her that she had to take off her underwear and not wear any under her pajamas because her father had a rule that they were not allowed to wear underwear to bed. She did not actually remember any molestation, but she said that memory made her shiver as did the memory of the girl's father, who she really couldn't picture but seemed dark and shadowy. She felt very disturbed by whatever that had awakened inside of her. I thought maybe she did experience something but blocked it out.
Good on you for listening to your daughter and getting her out of that situation.
I dont think this kind of thing is a once-off incident so a guy who does this will probably always do it. That means the danger is always there. It is our duty to try to limit his exposure to kids, but how do we go about that without any proof? Even if the church assigns someone else to be there as well whenever he is with kids, there is always going to be opportunities for him to 'take them outside' on their own etc. The opportunity is there to make false accusations about people we dont like too.
I feel this kind of thing is so common these days that the police only persue the perps who are NOT big names or powerful. I am sure that there were many people in the UK's Jimmy Saville group of friends who were also doing the same thing he was, yet in the papers reported at the time there were a few people outed but not many. Maybe the police feel it is too large a problem to deal with it, I dont know why there are not more prosecutions, but I am fairly certain it is not because they have got all of the perps. I think we need to decide what is acceptable and worthy of respect in our society. If it is not, then we need to expose it and not hide those sex offenders who are doing things unacceptable.
Extending this a little more would take us to the Epstein/Maxwell cases which we still have not got fully resolved and probably never will. In Epstein's and Maxwell's interviews, there must have been a lot of names mentioned, powerful names, of politicians, monachy, show business personalities, and other people in the public eye who visited the Epstein houses and attended their parties, but it seems we are (as a society) turning a blind eye to all of this from the top right down to the bottom. It continues to stretch though our religion, politics, and daily life without anyone doing anything and, while every one does nothing, it will continue to happen to our kids and our teenagers.
Find out where he goes to church and call and ask for a meeting with several elders/deacons and then tell your story. They should be following the practice of church discipline and bring it up to him.
This is so not right. I would do that if it were me. If they do not take action, at least he has been "exposed" himself. They will always look at him and wonder. And if they are not a church that takes this seriously, then they most likely gossip (as they would not take that practice seriously). Which is why you need several there, not one person.
It’s too bad the guy wasn’t reported to the police when it happened, but it’s probably too late now.
It can be a warning for others to not be naive about men who are put inter positions of authority with young boys. My grandsons were going to a youth group and my son felt like there was something uncomfortable about the man in charge of it. I really don’t know the details, but it did turn out he was grooming my grandson. I don’t know if the police were notified, but my son was a special ops soldier, who definitely had a few words with the guy.
It’s a shame we have to think like this these days, since youth groups need male leaders now, more than ever.
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Wouldn't care about the consequences. 
