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Just now when I came out of University Wall, A man driving his car and stopped beside me, and asked me to give him some gasoline as his car was running out of gasoline. As there was also little gas in my car, so I refused him. But when I came back, I thought maybe I should give him some cashes to add gas, but actually, I am not sure he was really need help or just a fraud, because I met another man who also ran out of gas several months ago. Does anyone have such experience? What did yo do?
It all depends on the time of day, location, circumstance. Therefore, I believe mind should abrogate heart.
My kindhearted, naive husband had this happen to him and was dumb enough to give the guy $20.00.
Your husband was doing what he thought was right and you actually refer to him as being "dumb".
I am glad I am not your husband being referred to in such a way.
My husband has done the same thing before and I thought it was very sweet of him to do. He is a good mean with a good heart and will help anyone he believes needs help. His kindness has gotten many people home over the years. Even if a few along the way were not really in need, I would never be so disrespectful to my kind, loving, gentle, generous husband as "dumb, stupid, idiot, etc".
I was outside a restaurant in Durham a while back, when a guy walked across the street and said "hey, can you spare a $20?". I thought: "wow, panhandling is trying to up their minimum wage. . . ".
I dug into my pocket and gave him a $5, which was the last dollars I had. He took it, but then looked at me like "what a cheapskate.". When did it occur that giving someone your last bit of cash wasn't good enough?
The only time I wear my New York thick skin with any pride is in dealing with situations such as these. I detest being approached by strangers looking for money, particularly when it's in a situation where you feel threatened by the person, all the more so if you don't.
I generally wave them off, explaining I'm running late. If that doesn't work, if they persist and are looking for cash, I tell them I never carry cash on me anymore, not even pocket change. It's hard to ask for something that's not available.
And on the extremely rare occasions where I deemed the situation legitimate (it's happened maybe twice), I waited until I was safely away from the person, considered all the factors, pulled out money out of their sight and handed it to them. I considered the possibility that I was being taken, but something seemed different in those situations that made me think it was the right thing to do, and I almost always trust my instincts.
However, I've often purchased extra food at restaurants and handed it to homeless people.
Most of these people are long-time professional panhandlers that have made an art out of trying to falsely invoke and prey upon human sympathy. They want you to believe they are victims of something, but they chose this career path because they can choose their own hours and be their own boss, and there's no drug testing or rules against drinking on the job.
If you give them anything you're supporting their profession and encouraging them to maintain status quo.
Your husband was doing what he thought was right and you actually refer to him as being "dumb".
I am glad I am not your husband being referred to in such a way.
My husband has done the same thing before and I thought it was very sweet of him to do. He is a good mean with a good heart and will help anyone he believes needs help. His kindness has gotten many people home over the years. Even if a few along the way were not really in need, I would never be so disrespectful to my kind, loving, gentle, generous husband as "dumb, stupid, idiot, etc".
It's dumb to give these beggars any money. Your only enabling them if you continue to do so.
I've been in this position a few times here. I rarely give people cash anymore, mainly because I don't carry much cash any more. I would buy someone food or gas if I thought they were legitimate. I've been "down on my luck" before (but have never staked out places to beg for money during those times). After being involved in many local charities, I know that most of donations really don't make it to the people in need.
It's really hard to know who is legit and who isn't. I'd rather give money to a scammer than walk away from a truly hungry or stranded person.
Exactly. Good grief. Roll up your car windows and lock the doors. Common sense people!
It's not always that easy. I was approached by a meth addict at McDonald's one time. She had her two young children there and had fresh track marks, meth mouth, etc. She told me they were sleeping in their car because she lost their apartment. I try not to be judgmental toward others and help if I can and it was VERY hard not to invite them home for a home-cooked meal and good night's sleep.
Yes, I know I shouldn't invite strangers home. Yes, I know some people are scammers. Yes, I know some people use any help to continue neglecting their children to buy more drugs. Knowing all that doesn't mean one's heart doesn't want to help, though. The only reason I opted not to do that in that situation is because I also have young children and was more concerned about their safety than my own. I did take her email (she had a SmartPhone) and sent her information about resources in the area and even a connection for a job. My contact said she never contacted him about the job though.
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