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Old 07-07-2010, 07:39 AM
 
Location: Iowa, Heartland of Murica
3,190 posts, read 3,248,762 times
Reputation: 3037

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I think it is hard to respect a woman when she gives her away so easily. As much as I like sex, I really respect a woman who is not willing to give herself away so easily. I have dated quite a few women since I moved here to Des Moines, and the average wait has been sex on the third date which I find a bit too soon.

I met a girl last week which I am really interested in and when we were making out, she said "Can you wait five dates before we do it?", I said absolutely. Honestly, I am thinking about telling her that I would rather wait longer before doing it.

I have noticed that when sex happens to soon, I tend to lose interest and it is hard to see the woman the same way after it. I hope she does not think I am weird when I tell her than I may want to wait a bit longer than five dates

 
Old 07-07-2010, 07:42 AM
 
221 posts, read 171,289 times
Reputation: 254
Too easy to some
Not easily enough to others,

And no consistency between the two.

That's really the thing that grinds my gears. Giving it up to the guy at the club, while making the dude you're dating wait 3 months.

The sooner a woman sleeps with me the better. I'll judge her on other criteria. If you're having that problem then youre not picking the right women in the first place.
 
Old 07-07-2010, 07:43 AM
 
Location: New Zealand and Australia
7,110 posts, read 6,372,004 times
Reputation: 7226
As long as you both have a good time, who cares.
 
Old 07-07-2010, 07:45 AM
 
Location: Dallas, TX
75 posts, read 131,285 times
Reputation: 110
A woman should have sex when she and her partner want to and are ready for it, sometimes it's after the first date, sometimes never. I think rules in such an intimate thing are stupid. With some people it just feels right, sometimes sooner, sometimes later, everybody has to know for themselves and there is no reason to wait or rush just because of what somebody else might think of you. There shouldn't be a 5-date rule or something.

And if a man thinks that 3 dates is too soon for sex he doesn't have to "take" the woman who "giver herself away" too soon. Men have feelings too and don't always have to want sex as soon as the woman is ready.
 
Old 07-07-2010, 07:51 AM
 
Location: Canada
3,435 posts, read 1,195,092 times
Reputation: 2186
Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
I think it is hard to respect a woman when she gives her away so easily. As much as I like sex, I really respect a woman who is not willing to give herself away so easily. I have dated quite a few women since I moved here to Des Moines, and the average wait has been sex on the third date which I find a bit too soon.

I met a girl last week which I am really interested in and when we were making out, she said "Can you wait five dates before we do it?", I said absolutely. Honestly, I am thinking about telling her that I would rather wait longer before doing it.

I have noticed that when sex happens to soon, I tend to lose interest and it is hard to see the woman the same way after it. I hope she does not think I am weird when I tell her than I may want to wait a bit longer than five dates

Here's the old double standard. When men do it its ok when women do it too early you're basically saying she's a s***. I do agree that people have sex way too soon in the relationship. Why is it that you don't lose respect FOR YOURSELF when you have sex too soon with a woman. It should work BOTH ways.
 
Old 07-07-2010, 07:52 AM
 
8,681 posts, read 7,631,769 times
Reputation: 14945
Default The 1950s called. They want their double-standard back.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
I think it is hard to respect a woman when she gives her away so easily. As much as I like sex, I really respect a woman who is not willing to give herself away so easily. I have dated quite a few women since I moved here to Des Moines, and the average wait has been sex on the third date which I find a bit too soon.
If you think the third date is too soon, then don't ask for sex on the third date. Seems like a no-brainer to me.

Oh, wait. Let me guess: You want to test a woman's virtue and find out if she's "worthy" of your "respect." Getting your rocks off in the process is only a side effect you have to suffer through.
 
Old 07-07-2010, 08:24 AM
 
Location: Ft Lauderdale, FL
259 posts, read 504,632 times
Reputation: 223
Last time I checked, it takes at least 2 people to have sex. Maybe you're the one that's too easy... Kettle, meet pot.
 
Old 07-07-2010, 08:28 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,844 posts, read 54,175,574 times
Reputation: 22785
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avienne View Post
If you think the third date is too soon, then don't ask for sex on the third date. Seems like a no-brainer to me.

Oh, wait. Let me guess: You want to test a woman's virtue and find out if she's "worthy" of your "respect." Getting your rocks off in the process is only a side effect you have to suffer through.
Goodie! I'll never understand this stupid counting system here.
 
Old 07-07-2010, 08:39 AM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
8,866 posts, read 11,076,231 times
Reputation: 16400
I think what's happening is that these women you are dating are lacking in other ways. They don't present enough of a challenge to you. Whether they give it up on the first date or tenth date, it's not going to matter. You need to find a girl who is a better match for you, otherwise you're going to get bored with them and steamroll right over them.
 
Old 07-07-2010, 09:14 AM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
4,472 posts, read 3,869,259 times
Reputation: 6919
I'm a guy, and I've had sex anywhere from the first to maybe the tenth date. I absolutely will not have sex with just anyone, and I'd rather go without than have sex with someone with whom I don't see some potential and for whom I have some respect. I have to actually like a woman as well as be attracted. Perhaps I'm not a typical male in this respect. But there are plenty of others like me.

Given my attitude, I would hope that a woman would only have sex with me if she likes me and sees some potential in me as well. Sometimes one or both of us may be wrong in our evaluation of the other, and sex happens anyway. So be it - but it's not my preference. If I don't feel that the situation is right, I have and would say no.

So, it's not about waiting or not waiting. It IS about good selectivity, and to be serious about a woman, I'd want her to be equally discriminating in her choices.

I also think there is a time and place for casual sex, but that's another topic.
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