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FWIW, my BF drove 65 miles to meet me. Your examples are cute, but the truth is, there are some great people to be found using the online sites.
I don't doubt it. The sad thing is that once you've been on a dating site for X-months (for me, it was six) and encountered so many men who should not be dating, those guys paint the nice, decent guys with the same brush. It just becomes too difficult to sort out the nice guys.
If I had a guy drive 65 miles to meet me, I'd put him on my "YES!" list right away. That's extremely telling--it shows that he's serious. But, most of them, it's hard to get them to drive across town. I went out with a really nice guy who I was interested in. He was really into me, too. But he said we couldn't see each other because he was looking for someone in a 5-mile radius of his house. I only wish I were joking.
It's sort of discouraging, because I know that if there's someone on a dating site like me, there have to be others. I just don't know who they are.
Please give me your honest answers here...do you believe that meeting someone online versus the traditional way (thru work,friends,etc) is taken as a sign of desperation and used as last resort... Thanks
No...it's called broadening one's horizons - so many more options are available to you, rather than having to pick from such a small pool such as through friends. Dating someone you work with, could turn out to be a nightmare if it doesn't work out.
He may very well be serious and most likely is, but that doesn't necessarily make him a good person.
Agreed, of course! I was only providing a concrete example of someone that does not follow her "all men on dating sites" examples. You'll only find out of someone is a "good person" by climbing out on that limb and actually meeting them and learning more about them. More often than not, you won't want to persue anything, but every so often, you find a gem. But you won't ever get to that point, if you don't have the patience to stick it out for more than a few months...I can just about guarantee that.
One of the good things about dating sites is that they are a start and from then on, it is up to you to sort out who is a good match.
What I did was to have a list in my head (and I think we all have this list somewhere) of attributes I wanted in an ideal partner. After all, we are looking for mr/mrs Right so we all have "must haves" and "must not haves". Obviously things like wants kids/doesn't want kids is a big question for a lot of people.
There are some things that are not that important, and some things are 'show-stoppers' and so when you find one of those, just move on quickly, dont bang your head against a brick wall.
Trouble is most people have to lie to begin with to keep you interested in them long enough to find out the real truth. This is why you need to check answers to questions and raise 'red flags' where they need to be raised. A heavy drinker for example.
Often you can weed out the unsuitable ones with a bit of questioning before too much effort is made. For example you would probably have to date 5 or 6 times to find out a lot of the stuff you can ask in the first couple of emails. That saves a lot of time, but check, check, and check again. Ask the same question in a different way too.
This is particularly important when you cannot actually meet easily, such as dating foreigners, but the same thing is useful for local guys/girls too.
[b]... 45 years later, with five children, eight grandchildren and one great-grandchild, I still treasure that shoebox full of letters
still kept on the top shelf of the closet because it was through those letters and the volumes of information that we shared as we
opened our hearts to one another so many years ago, that I credit with being the strong foundation of our successful union.
I really didn't intend to stray off topic with this response but I wanted to underscore the thought that there is much that may
be derived from written thoughts when one is looking for insight and hoping to determine the character of a potential partner.
Wow!!! Beautiful story and three thumbs up - thank-you for sharing this.
Please give me your honest answers here...do you believe that meeting someone online versus the traditional way (thru work,friends,etc) is taken as a sign of desperation and used as last resort... Thanks
LOL..no
most people have busy lives to actually go out and meet someone.
I say its one of the best ways to meet someone
I met my boyfriend online. Im so glad I did..
Times are changing people are meeting more online now than ever.
You should try it..
I don't know if it would considered desperate, I've never tried the online dating thing. I could see how people are just sick of the dating scene and want to try a different approach.
It really depends on the website they go to. If they try on craigslist or other free sites, I would say that they are likely to be desperate pond scum. Paid sites? Probably less so. It is an efficient method to preselect your dating pool. But there are some people who are willing to shell out a ton of money for paid sites because they have reached that point of desperation. There are creeps everywhere and you are as likely to meet them online as in person.
So the answer to your question is... yes, no, maybe. You have to ask the right questions to get the right answers.
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