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Has anyone seen this social phenomenon at work, college, church, families, business, group of friends, etc? Someone will be really nice, cooperative, and cordial with 10 select people but will make an effort to be snide and ugly to one person i.e., giving the cold shoulder, being argumentative, not empathizing, pushing the person away figuratively, making body gestures of repulsion, etc. The person being difficult has the power and protection to be that way. The person being shunned is sort of the loner or the unpopular person. Anyone ever seen this? How can you explain that? I'd like to make sense of that. I've been the victim of that phenomenon a few times. However, I have thankfully not experienced that since my college years where I noticed an emphasis on homogeneity and limited speech. I think it's a power trip IMHO. These days I'm greeted with smiles and cooperation almost everywhere I go. It's so amazing what a change in culture can do for you!
I would ignore that person. Regardless of how a person may seem through their various hobbies, activities, or social status, they are often very negative people searching for meaning and constantly turning up empty handed. They lash out at people they feel are beneath them in an attempt to feel better about themselves, or like they have some type of purpose. Don't play their games, just ignore them and try to find nice people who share similar interests with you that are nonjudgemental.
I would ignore that person. Regardless of how a person may seem through their various hobbies, activities, or social status, they are often very negative people searching for meaning and constantly turning up empty handed. They lash out at people they feel are beneath them in an attempt to feel better about themselves, or like they have some type of purpose. Don't play their games, just ignore them and try to find nice people who share similar interests with you that are nonjudgemental.
Yep, and it's really sad when people are still doing that shyt when they're 40 years old. I see it all the time in a social group that I belong to, which I don't frequent much anymore. I call it the "crabs in the barrel" syndrome.
I am in this situation right now; I'm 25 and get deliberately ignored by co-workers who are in their late-20s to mid-40s. In my personal experience, the cold shoulder is mostly given to people who have a "holier than thou" attitude or who are condescending. I spoke to someone in H.R. about my situation and she said that my co-workers feel that I am undeserving of my position (my major in college had nothing to do with my current position) and that I am cold. For the record, my co-workers spend most of their free time smacktalking people so I have always excused myself from listening to (or being involved in) catty conversations to avoid being sucked into the rumor mill. Taking the high road has its disadvantages. The only thing you can do is talk to the people who push you away on a professional level. Asking about how other people's days are going and how they've been enjoying work helps to take the "cold edge" off a bit, but if people don't respect you there isn't much you can do. The only time this situation would really become a problem is if one of your superiors is treating you in this manner or if you are being bullied and having your name dragged through the mud--then it's time for an old-fashioned meeting to get to the root of the problems out in the open.
Has anyone seen this social phenomenon at work, college, church, families, business, group of friends, etc? Someone will be really nice, cooperative, and cordial with 10 select people but will make an effort to be snide and ugly to one person i.e., giving the cold shoulder, being argumentative, not empathizing, pushing the person away figuratively, making body gestures of repulsion, etc. The person being difficult has the power and protection to be that way. The person being shunned is sort of the loner or the unpopular person. Anyone ever seen this? How can you explain that? I'd like to make sense of that. I've been the victim of that phenomenon a few times. However, I have thankfully not experienced that since my college years where I noticed an emphasis on homogeneity and limited speech. I think it's a power trip IMHO. These days I'm greeted with smiles and cooperation almost everywhere I go. It's so amazing what a change in culture can do for you!
I saw this at a previous job. One of the women who worked there was very friendly with some people, but positively icy to the rest of us, not even saying Hi or smiling back if you passed by her. At first I thought she was only being nice to the attractive guys in the office. But she was friendly with some of the women too as well as some guys who would definitely not qualify as good looking. I could never figure out the pattern. But it seemed like if you were her friend, she'd be really nice to you. If you weren't, she'd be really cold. I can't remember what her exact job was, but I know she was one of the managers. You'd think someone in that role would be friendly with everyone and not be so selective about it. I'm just glad I didn't have to deal with her.
My friend was shunned and look down from his co-workers, who are in their late 30s to mid-40s, during the first few weeks. He's 21 (the youngest of the crew) and he has NO degree in business major whatsoever. My friend is quite friendly and open to meet new people. I asked him why they're treating him this way, and he thinks because of the connection he has in the Bank. His sister is a really great friend of his (or their boss), so they assume that she might favor him. Also, I think he was in the "spot light" when he first came in so perhaps jealously? "Who's this newbie that he thinks he deserve this spotlight?" Idk. Now, I think work is going good for him. He learned to ignore and mind his own business now. He loves working there despite his co-workers.
Yea, it happens when some insecure wench decides that she needs to secure a group of minions, for the sole purpose of isolating and excluding certain others. I've definitely been on the receiving end of this. Suffice to say, it was difficult for them to make me feel bad for being isolated from annoying ass people.
Has anyone seen this social phenomenon at work, college, church, families, business, group of friends, etc? Someone will be really nice, cooperative, and cordial with 10 select people but will make an effort to be snide and ugly to one person i.e., giving the cold shoulder, being argumentative, not empathizing, pushing the person away figuratively, making body gestures of repulsion, etc. The person being difficult has the power and protection to be that way. The person being shunned is sort of the loner or the unpopular person. Anyone ever seen this? How can you explain that? I'd like to make sense of that. I've been the victim of that phenomenon a few times. However, I have thankfully not experienced that since my college years where I noticed an emphasis on homogeneity and limited speech. I think it's a power trip IMHO. These days I'm greeted with smiles and cooperation almost everywhere I go. It's so amazing what a change in culture can do for you!
What do you do or act like to get this cold shoulder? It must be your attitude. Does it stank? Alot of people have stank attitudes but don't even realize it.
Yea, it happens when some insecure wench decides that she needs to secure a group of minions, for the sole purpose of isolating and excluding certain others.
Oh my gosh, so true! Our firm hired a new girl fresh out of college (I'm still in college) and the one person I don't get along with decided to take the new girl "under her wing" and now she's a total ***** like the other woman, thinking she is so superior to me because she has a degree...I'm working on it!
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