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If someone says they love you but for whatever reason if you have to break up then they say they don't want to be friends or even have contact with you anymore, is that really love?
From my perspective if I really loved someone I would be there for them if they needed me even if I could not have a relationship with them. I feel that someone who says that they love you and want to be in contact conditionally on the fact that you have a relationship does not seem genuine to me... do you agree?
To love someone in my view is something really deep, yet it's used so callously by many...that's a real shame since it has lost it's true meaning!
I think that if someone loves someone, but can be smart enough to see that they are not loved back, then let them go. What is the big deal?
I mean it is really love , or it isn`t.
I see your point, but at times I've preferred to cut contact purely to help me get over the person. If they were to call needing help I'd do what I could for them, but it can be very hard to let go and move on while the person is still hanging around. Not to mention that there's a difference between me wanting him to be happy and seeing firsthand just how happy he is with the next girl.
I can understand the reason for such a question but I also recognize that sometimes people just come to the realization that it's just not going to work out being a couple. I do think that it's possible in such a situation for two people to still have an emotional bond that could be called love even though they know they can't live together. In fact I have known at least one couple who would fall into this category.
But having said that I must admit that I think it's more likely that when someone breaks up with you that this is just something that's commonly said to attempt to make the breakup less painful and it's probably not sincere. It depends on the situation.
I think any functional human being who wants to move on from the person they love who they can't be with, would be smart to cut off contact. If I would have done that, I would be in a much better place now, but I finally cut off contact a year and a half ago, so far its helping more than it would if we were still in contact.
Beyond that, if that person who can't love you back enough to be with you somehow "needs" you but won't commit, they dont know what they want and are just keeping you hanging on. THAT is not love and is highly damaging to the other person!
There really is no way to define love, so I don't think you can say that to love someone is to ________.
I dated a guy many, many years ago. We love each other as friends but we only talk about 2-3 times a year now. To be perfectly honest, after a few conversations he irritates the hell out of me because of his behavior (which is one reason we didn't continue to date). I know that if I ever needed him he would be there, but just because we are not all up in each others' business everyday doesn't mean we don't love each other.
When you really love someone and commit to them and the commitment is broken it is a painful thing. Yes you might hate what that person did to you to cause you pain.
The best definition of love that I can figure is wanting the best for someone regardless of the cost. It is more than warm fuzzy feelings.
There is a thin line between love and hate and love means different things to different people. I can love u, but it it is over I am not likely to continue to be there for u. It's over and moving on is not reaching back. How can u really get over someone you need to if they are still there? Maybe after time and healing, but that would take allot of time for me...
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