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People are confusing sorry and apology. They are two separate words with separate definitions. Sorry implies that you have sympathy for the other person or situation, or that you feel bad for something you have done.
Even though there might be some regret behind an apology, apologies are an admittance that you were wrong, or have inconvenienced someone, without the emotional attachment.
i.e., You can apologize without being sorry and you can say I'm sorry without apologizing.
Example: Boyfriend cheats on girlfriend, tells her I'm sorry. Girlfriend apologizes to boyfriend for smashing his front windshield.
The boyfriend saying I apologize for sleeping with the other girl seems too impersonal for this situation and the girlfriend does not regret breaking the window as she felt justified, although she realizes that it was not the best thing to do.
As for all of this machismo John Wayne Saying you're sorry is a sign of weakness, well, that is just a load of bull. Ever notice that politicians never say that they are sorry?
I have no problem apologizing when I am wrong or in the wrong. However, I only say I am sorry if I absolutely mean it, never for appeasement.
That reminds of Janet Reno after the Waco massacre. 76 people died because of her botched calls on ending the siege. But she stood up before the press and apologized to the American people, shouldering the blame. She managed to serve out her term as Attorney General. I'm no admirer of Reno, but I do have to at least respect her for that.
I enjoy being human...I know I am bound to make mistakes and say or do things that upset other people at times...I am ready to own-up to my mistakes at any time and this feels good. I don't have to hide behind false fronts...I can afford to be real and honest....It was different when I was younger. I was insecure and hung-up on looking perfect all the time. I lived a "lie" because I wasn't always perfect and "right" and I made plenty of mistakes....As the years rolled by I became more mellow and modest and humble and real...I still make mistakes all the time but I am ready to apologize and make amends and hopefully...learn and grow in the process. This is what I want...I want to grow in wisdom and common sense and respect and love for the people around me.
When I've done/said something stupid, I can say I'm sorry and mean it with all my heart. But, if I'm not in the wrong no damn way in hell am I going to apologize for it. I'm not in the habit of saying I'm sorry more than once for the same offense...
hard to say? no, but I watch who I say it to, some people do sniff it as a sign of weakness, and in those cases I'm rather rude once than have someone think I'm a push-around.
Some people seem to have trouble saying "I'm sorry" because they don't want to admit to making any mistakes. Have you noticed this? How do you feel about it?....We all make mistakes at times and our so-called "right" may be someone else's "wrong."...Defensive people must view it as a sign of weakness to admit that they might be "wrong" in what they've said and "wrong" in the way they have been dealing with someone else...Maybe we have fears that people will take advantage of us if we appear "soft." What do you think? Thanks.
I don't have a problem with this.
All the fears are contrary to the real outcome. You are the better person if you can do this.
It's interesting that so many people view a sincere apology as a sign of weakness, when really it's a sign of strength.
Not many people want to admit when they're wrong. It's a similar effect to when you're embarrassed in front of a class for farting or saying something stupid.
I'm not saying I haven't offended others--I'm saying that I'm not sorry for what I've done. I see no reason to be sorry for things I've intentionally done.
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