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What do you do when you love someone very much, they are a good person, they try hard to make you happy, but they tire the heck out of you?
I don't really know where to go with this post, but let me just say, I am the kind of person who could live all by myself and be entirely happy. That being said, I very much love my boyfriend.
I love him, but I get tired of cleaning up his messes, I get tired of cleaning things that I have asked him to take care of before. "Please put your dirty laundry in the hamper, don't lay it on the floor around the hamper.", "Please get the cars engine oil changed.", "Please take your plates out and put them in the dishwasher", "Please clean out the shower after you use it". We inherited a cat and dog, from his side of the family, who takes care of it...ME! Who takes garbage out...ME!
It runs me ragged cleaning after him. I end up crying and wishing I could just have fun. Every day is a schedule, every day is me making sure he is keeping up with the bills, everyday is me telling him to get the cars engine oil changed.
It is a double-edged sword. I like that he is a layed back person, but then I am the one who has to get everything done.
I feel like his mother and not his significant other.
His mother never taught him how to clean up after himself. Sometimes I am so angry with this woman for not teaching her children to work for themselves!! Why did you do this to me, woman. Whyyyyyyyyy
I have dreams where I am at the shopping mall or back in my home town. I wish I could take walks here or something, but I am in the home 24/7, though tomorrow I will get to go out for a bit because we are going grocery shopping. Is this what it's like to be a house wife?
What do you do when you love someone very much, they are a good person, they try hard to make you happy, but they tire the heck out of you?
Use them for sex.
Or you can just put your foot down and insist that he clean up after himself. If he won't them tell him he'll need to buy paper plates and plastic forks to eat with, that way he can throw them away after eating, because you won't be washing dishes any longer. Unless he enjoys eating off dirty dishes.
Establish who will do what so it's out in the open.
Unless he has a lot of brothers and sisters with the same problems, I wouldn't be hasty to judge his mother--unless you don't like her anyway, lol. She may have been wringing her hands in much the same way you are now. While organized parents may be more likely to have organized children, it doesn't just naturally follow, and those who are not well organized may be incapable of seeing how to keep up with these things--I know that sounds hard to believe but I know it is so.
Here is an idea for you though--if he's laid back and not just being a jerk, why not tell him that this Saturday you two need to get in and do some deep cleaning and give him a list. Make it a very detailed list and make sure that he has the tools he'll need for the job--you don't want him to have to head off to the hardware store. If he's into music, put on some upbeat songs to work to. Do this regularly and you can plan to keep up with the day to day stuff the rest of the time--I'm betting that he just doesn't see the pants on the floor but he'll be glad to help you with your list. Then you two can head off to dinner that night and try to get some romance back and you'll be happy with him and he'll be glad he made you happy. He sounds like a nice guy--I hope this doesn't break you up, but I sure can see how it would drive you crazy.
If you keep doing it for him of course he's not going to do it for himself. That's just plain common sense. He will get away with what you let him get away with.
Ugh i know exactly what you mean!! At first i loved that he was sooo laid back, but i like to go out and do things, listen to music, and do cleaning home repairs. I sux not having anyone to do it with. He always says he'll go with go out with me, but then he just sits there and i need to entertain him, and can't enjoy myself. And he will help with cleaning our apt if i give him a list, but i want him to do it on his own. We have lived together for 2 years now, he should know what annoys me.. like his socks that he leaves on the desk ALL the time, or when he puts his towel on top of the hamper lid rather than in it..
my theory is that all guys suck, you just have to find the one that sux least, lol. Like for instance, he is not overly jealous, i never have to worry about him ever cheating on me, and i know he will be there for me when i need him to..
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