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Ladies, why on earth do you all do this? My mom, cousins and every woman I have dated has done this to me and it aggravates me to no end.
I'll ask if they (girlfriend at the time) would like me to pick them up something to eat. They refuse so I go on my merry way. Upon returning with my fine cuisine, its starred upon by the moping snarl of my lady friend. Then she proceeds to ask if she may have some WHILE her hand is already in my plate. WHY do women do this ALL the time (at least in my experience)?
It's as old as time itself. Besides, snacking has zero calories.
Order extra...my late wife did this to me all the time and it was a joke between us after a while. It was pretty irritating though when we first started dating until I learned the trick.
Here's my rationalization. I just want to TASTE whatever, not necessarily eat a whole order of whatever. And you have to admit, a taste doesn't have as many calories as a full portion.
apparently calories don't count if you decline to eat them first, and then surreptitiously chow down.
In way of possibly explaining the behavior that you have encountered, I suspect that the above quote is true to a large extent and the refusal to take ownership of eating makes people dishonest about their real appetites, food desires and consumption level with both themselves and others. I see this in operation primarily when people are on either self or medically restricted diets or with the chronic weight watcher.
For further explanation I also think that many people encounter both eating envy and order/meal envy in their close relationships. Eating envy: If another person is eating, even if the observer isn't the least bit hungry, they want some of what the eater has. Order or meal envy: If another person has a "better" meal or food, (normally this happens when eating out) the envier will want the "better" food rather than what they have or what they ordered resulting in a spectrum of covetous behavior from mild to outrageous.
Food envy is a running joke between my husband and I after observing it in action at social functions or family gatherings over the years. Rarely do either my husband or I suffer from food remorse or envy but should it happen, we immediately label it and make a joke of it to diffuse any emotion. Something along the lines of, "You've out ordered me." and then we laugh about it. The food "winner" normally offers a bite to the "loser" which is normally refused and we proceed with the meal happily.
After 20+ years of being together I wouldn't think of putting my hand or fork in my husband's plate (or eating domain) without asking for a small taste sample first (which I rarely do) and I wouldn't appreciate it if he snatched my food without asking either. That's assuming that we haven't agreed to share popcorn at the movies or a bag of chips or dessert when eating out.
I would find that behavior maddening too, but no advice to "solve" the problem needed, I see that GF is an ex.....good luck with that next one.
Just date someone who has a better relationship with food. It seems to me as if they don't want the "calories" but the taste. I find that nobody wants to "try" my salad or healthier menu choices. However, they do want a fry, a bite of cheesecake, etc...If you don't want the other people in your food then get something that they don't like lol. On the whole, I think it is rude to put your hands in someone else's food without them offering. I do always offer though when I go out because the portions are just ridiculously big as it is.
Another alternative when going out to eat is tapas. Order small plates of food and share. That way no one has regrets on what they ordered or wonder if the dish the other person is eating is better.
For further explanation I also think that many people encounter both eating envy and order/meal envy in their close relationships. Eating envy: If another person is eating, even if the observer isn't the least bit hungry, they want some of what the eater has. Order or meal envy: If another person has a "better" meal or food, (normally this happens when eating out) the envier will want the "better" food rather than what they have or what they ordered resulting in a spectrum of covetous behavior from mild to outrageous.
This is so true.
There are few things as bad as tasting eachother's dish only to find out you made a bad choice.
He won't order fries, etc. with his meal, because they're not healthy...yet he'll eat half mine. Because apparently, when they're on somebody else's plate, their unhealthiness is absorbed. Or something.
I'm perfectly content to share, and would gladly order something to split...but when I ask him, "Hey, wanna share an order of fries[/split a dessert/etc.]?" He always begs off...and then ends up filching anyway. Again, apparently calories don't count if you decline to eat them first, and then surreptitiously chow down.
hahahahahaha, I admit, I do this. Somehow it feels the food is "less bad" for you when it's not your food. I know thinking like that is ridiculous.
To the OP, the person prob is afraid she'll eat the whole thing if she has one of her own, but she knows that if you eat most of it, she'll be forced to only eat a little. Order her a small version of whatever you get and give it to her. She might have only a few bites and throw the rest away, but at least she won't be eating from your plate anymore.
As for the whole someone putting their hand in your food...well, if it's your gf, I figure if she can touch your penis, she can touch your french fries, though preferably not in that order.
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