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I knew when I was 5 yrs old that I liked boys, I was never confused about that at all. And I just can't wrap my head around suddenly changing "teams" in the middle of a relationship. I just don't understand it.
Yeah, try being married to someone for 23 years, and then they change teams.
I knew when I was 5 yrs old that I liked boys, I was never confused about that at all. And I just can't wrap my head around suddenly changing "teams" in the middle of a relationship. I just don't understand it.
I'm sorry about your son getting his heart broken like that. But that's a part of dating. Everyone's heart gets broken a few times. She could have stayed straight and still broken up with your son after year. Most young romances don't lead to marriage and happily ever after.
Gay people are under both their own and society's pressures to be straight. And I'm sure that she was really fond of your son. But for whatever reasons that makes her more sexually attracted to women, ultimately her relationship with your son wasn't fulfilling enough. Men and women are wired to think differently in situations, so having a relationship with a woman was just more of what she needed for companionship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka
Yeah, try being married to someone for 23 years, and then they change teams.
Sometimes, with older straight people I know, when their relationships are failing again, they will lament that they just don't understand what the opposite sex wants. And maybe after many years of having repeated misunderstandings and frustrations with dealing with members of the opposite sex, they find comfort in being with those of their same sex and they stop wanting to be around the opposite sex and seeing the BS. And maybe that's how it starts.
I do find men have certain annoying patterns, but I am too strongly attracted to them physically to "switch teams".
And then sure enough, it ends up that she used my son as an experiment to see if she liked boys or not. She really broke his heart when she just flat dumped him the day after Christmas without any explanation whatsoever.:
Its always an experiment. A teenager is too young to know for sure what their orientation is, they stil have not sorted through societal garbage to figure things out for themselves. If a 30-something male can be in the closet about his orientation, how much moreso your average lesbian teenager.
Broken hearts stink but that would be a good oppurtunity for somebody like your son to learn empathy towards gays and lesbians from it, rather than focus on peronal rejection which was not the intent of the young woman.
I get the same thing from some women, that they mistrust bisexual males, figuring they are actually gay and therefore not worth the trouble as they will just demp them eventually. Well, that's a risk, but you can risk the same thing dating "straight" men too. The only differenec is, I'm up front about that, and the straight man is often not.
Sometimes, with older straight people I know, when their relationships are failing again, they will lament that they just don't understand what the opposite sex wants. And maybe after many years of having repeated misunderstandings and frustrations with dealing with members of the opposite sex, they find comfort in being with those of their same sex and they stop wanting to be around the opposite sex and seeing the BS. And maybe that's how it starts.
I do find men have certain annoying patterns, but I am too strongly attracted to them physically to "switch teams".
Mmmm, there are so many straight men out there who just hate women, but they don't become gay because of it. I think there's a lot more to it, and my ex told me that he'd always known that he was gay--he just didn't want to be, so he thought marriage would "cure" it. Sometimes I think our sexual orientation has more to do with which gender we develop feelings for, or which gender we can imagine kissing, than which sex organs are involved. I'm not grossed out by the thought of sex with a woman, but I can't imagine kissing one.
That said though--I know a woman who switched teams after repeated frustrations with men, so maybe women are more likely to do that? Also I've heard that it's not at all uncommon for elderly women to become gay b/c of the growing shortage of men as they age.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnulus
I get the same thing from some women, that they mistrust bisexual males, figuring they are actually gay and therefore not worth the trouble as they will just demp them eventually. Well, that's a risk, but you can risk the same thing dating "straight" men too. The only differenec is, I'm up front about that, and the straight man is often not.
You have that right, and you'll do better for yourself and the women you date by being honest, as it sounds like you are.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka
Mmmm, there are so many straight men out there who just hate women, but they don't become gay because of it. I think there's a lot more to it, and my ex told me that he'd always known that he was gay--he just didn't want to be, so he thought marriage would "cure" it. Sometimes I think our sexual orientation has more to do with which gender we develop feelings for, or which gender we can imagine kissing, than which sex organs are involved. I'm not grossed out by the thought of sex with a woman, but I can't imagine kissing one.
That said though--I know a woman who switched teams after repeated frustrations with men, so maybe women are more likely to do that? Also I've heard that it's not at all uncommon for elderly women to become gay b/c of the growing shortage of men as they age.
You have that right, and you'll do better for yourself and the women you date by being honest, as it sounds like you are.
Yeah that's a very good point, I think it might suggest it is more emotional for women than it is for men. When they talk about how attractive a guy is, they often talk about non-physical attributes and mean it (unlike many fellas). Females in nature don't seem as drawn to males as vice versa, as you would expect of course. So an older woman who suddenly 'switched teams' might not have not a definite physical attraction towards either men or women, or might have only or mainly had one towards men. Unless she had some massive hormonal change or something, then I can only see her being lesbian or asexual or pansexual.
Females in nature don't seem as drawn to males as vice versa, as you would expect of course. So an older woman who suddenly 'switched teams' might not have not a definite physical attraction towards either men or women, or might have only or mainly had one towards men. Unless she had some massive hormonal change or something, then I can only see her being lesbian or asexual or pansexual.
I don't know if I'd say we're not drawn to males--we are. But in most species in nature, females are wired to let the man come to her. It's why it's still not common for women to ask men out, no matter how liberated we get.
Pansexual? Isn't that where you'll do it with anything, even a bonobo ape? Only the boy ones for me though.
I know a woman who switched teams after repeated frustrations with men, so maybe women are more likely to do that? Also I've heard that it's not at all uncommon for elderly women to become gay b/c of the growing shortage of men as they age.
IMO, sexual orientation can be more fluid and less rigid in some people than others. Of course, I do not view gay/lesbian/bisexual/pansexual to be any less or better than being straight, so it is only for knowledge sake, not an excuse, that I think this subject is relevant(origin of sexual orientation/sexuality).
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