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Support may not be agreeing. Support may be listening, and holding your tongue if you don't agree, because whether or not you agree may not be pertinent to the issue at hand. Could be that the support needed is simply a listening ear.
just personally- i get really angry when i have to listen to someone complain like that. they are effectively transferring all that negative emotion to me, and that's a form of emotional abuse that isn't worth it.
i shouldn't be expected to have the emotional sensitivity of a woman, because it just isn't there.
Personally it would be hard for me to live with a "chronic complainer." It gets "old." Some people wrap their identities around complaining and painting themselves as "victims." I wouldn't do well being married to someone who acted this way all the time...I know a few people who are "chronic complainers" but thank goodness I don't have to spend much time with them. I think they may have grown-up in a culture where complaining was normal and expected...My husband's family of origin could be this way but my husband was able to "break free" from most of it. Plus he used to get tired of all the "whiners" he encountered at work and didn't want to be like them.
You started a thread called, "Why Men Don't Listen to Women" and are upset that people are speaking in generalities?
Did I say I was upset? No. I'm just not surprised. And if you see my original post, you'll notice that the title is taken from the article I mentioned. It wasn't one I thought of on my own.
If you consider listening to somebody being abused, good luck in relationships of all kinds.
whatever. women can be emotional terrorists, getting angry at me about things i don't understand. the best defense is to not listen to crap that isn't important. there's simply no way to handle everything that is thrown at you which demands some utterance or response or acknowledgement, you just can't do it, you HAVE to prioritize. new problems will always be created and recycled for the sake of having problems to talk about.
Did I say I was upset? No. I'm just not surprised. And if you see my original post, you'll notice that the title is taken from the article I mentioned. It wasn't one I thought of on my own.
I think the thread has been relatively civil and non-inflammatory despite its premise. Other threads have been much worse, IMO.
I think men and women tend to have very different ideas about what constitutes nagging. Likewise, what a man sees as a helpful suggestion, a woman might call "trying to control me."
Sigh. How do people get to the point of assuming the worst in their partner's behavior? Assuming good intentions first seems the way to go but then some interpret that as "giving in."
Sigh. How do people get to the point of assuming the worst in their partner's behavior? Assuming good intentions first seems the way to go but then some interpret that as "giving in."
I don't know ... probably watching their parents. Some people have pointed out that a woman may have grown up with a controlling dad and developed an attitude of, "I'll never let a man control me." Or a man may disapprove of the choices his mother made and believes all women are like her.
I think men and women tend to have very different ideas about what constitutes nagging. Likewise, what a man sees as a helpful suggestion, a woman might call "trying to control me."
I agree. If my boyfriend has left something he said was going to do for say, oh, a month and I mention it to him once, I am a nag.
I got my drivers licence a few years ago even though I reeeeeeally didn’t want to, because he was on my case constantly. He wore me down to the point where I just gave in to stop him annoying me.
Going to those driving lessons was like being a 10 year old going to church on a Sunday – I couldn’t wait until they were over! A lot more expensive than church too!
He said he was only trying to help.
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