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Ok so I met a guy last weekend, we really hit it off and had fun together. I knew him through my brother. Anyway we hooked up and had sex and the next morning he asked me for my number and gave me his. I texted him a few times after that, he always responded and we would talk for a lil bit
So last night I was going out near him with some of my friends so i sent him a text saying "hey! what you up to tonight?" he said "heyy... probably nothing i have work early and am working later tonight so I'm gonna try and be responsible and stay in" So i told him I was going out out in his town and was gonna see if he wanted to meet up. He said if he decided to go out he'd let me know.
So i'm at the bar that night and he comes in with his a few friends/ his roommate. I was a lil shocked, didnt go up to him because now I felt weird since he never texted me saying he was coming out. So i ignored him, pretended I didn't see him. After a while he comes up to me and says hi and apologizes for not calling me to say he was coming out. Says he started drinking and then forgot. He then says we are leaving and going to the bar down the road you should come. My friend didnt want to go so I couldnt go.
I mistakingly drunk texted him that night saying I couldnt come to the other bar maybe we could meet up this week? He said I have so much going on at work next week so if im not dead im down. I at this point was starting to wonder if this guy had ANY interest in me or was just playing me. So i responded with "yeah yeah I'm sure you do. I get it. ha" and he said " I really do!"
So anyway this is where I think I ruined it... I said "I will admit when you didnt call me tonight it only confirmed my belief that I was only a one night thing for you. He responded at "2am" "I'll be honest with you... I'm kinda a Sl*t right now...sorry." I said "Thanks for being honest. I hate games"
I seriously hate when I do this, I feel like my drunk texts made things awkward now. What is everyones opinion on this. I like the guy, would like to hang out with him again. Not looking for a relationship but I feel like I came off sorta needy on the drunk texting. Ugh Any help would be appreciated
I feel he is managing his life in an imature way. I don't think hes the guy for you. the lol....is embaracment in place of communicating honesty.
He still doesn't get it. Whats cool about any of it....I will tell you....now he's concerned that you will bad mouth him to brother and friends....what a wimp. Not your feelings....so whats important to him...your feelings or...his popularity...I think this guy is a user. User's are no good for anybody...
Sorrym, but the guys owes the OP nothing. They had random sex. She owes herself respect. He is treating her the same she treats herself.
ok you guys are right, maybe I do want a relationship and I'm just not meeting the right guys. It's hard to meet good guys nowadays. If i turn guys down they lose interest, if I have sex with them, they lose interest. I give up.
First off, I saw you got another text. Don't respond. That was him trying to say "goodbye forever" in the most graceful way still possible. He's not what you're looking for.
That's part of the problem. You say you don't like good guys and are attracted to bad guys. Well, you get what you ask for. I think the allure is that you're secretly wanting a bad boy to think you're so special that he wants to change for you and turn over a new leaf, commit himself and treat you right like that good guy would have done. It's a common Hollywood theme, but it doesn't usually work that way in real life. If you want the same kind of guy you've been getting? Keep doing the same things (and you'll get the same results.) If you want something different, you have to change your thinking.
If a guy turns you down because you won't have sex with him? Say thanks, he's done you a favor. Everyone who dates has to work through some losers before they find a good catch.
I feel he is managing his life in an imature way. I don't think hes the guy for you. the lol....is embaracment in place of communicating honesty.
He still doesn't get it. Whats cool about any of it....I will tell you....now he's concerned that you will bad mouth him to brother and friends....what a wimp. Not your feelings....so whats important to him...your feelings or...his popularity...I think this guy is a user. User's are no good for anybody...
this is why I hate texting. everything is always up for interpretation. Things are always taken wrong. It was good when it first started, now it has ruined the way people communicate. I had a roommate who would only talk on text, hated the phone. She drove me NUTS and we were always fighting because she misinterpreted things I said to her.
You said, "I really hate when I do this" referring to drunk texting. Here's a hint - don't get drunk. Aside from doing stupid things you later regret, it turns off a lot of guys and women. Time to grow up. If you're old enough to drink, you're old enough to not get drunk. Stupid is as stupid does.
this is why I hate texting. everything is always up for interpretation. Things are always taken wrong. It was good when it first started, now it has ruined the way people communicate. I had a roommate who would only talk on text, hated the phone. She drove me NUTS and we were always fighting because she misinterpreted things I said to her.
Then its time .....If my sister had similar...I would tell her to text back and say....I don't think we actually think the same way about things ...thanks for your note and have a nice day
He can read what he wants into this....plus you will have some good attention to yourself and if he ....complains to your text....that may show a little charactor on his behalf....if not...perhaps he has no charactor that would fit into reasonable expectations to compatibility
Can you live without texting? Get a phone without a texting feature. As an older person (52), I feel that cellphones, especially texting has hurt the dating process. You meet someone you like and suddenly imo there's too much communication going on and not enough personal space and mystery. Part of the magic feeling in a new romance is that feeling of anticipation and the desire to see that special someone again. With cellphones and texting, there's no anticipation or sparks about the relationship any longer.
Another suggestion for meeting new people and becoming more interesting as a person is for you to take an adult education class in something fun like cooking or a foreign language. Or finding a part time job. Or volunteer at an animal shelter. Or mentor a young person. Don't make romance your ultimate goal. Just keep working on making yourself the best all around person you can be.
Thank you, I think my biggest problem is the guys I pick. I like the bad boy, **shole type which in return treat me like sh*t
I'm just not as attracted to nice guys
I think you've got that wrong. The nice guys write you off when they see a chick that uses no discretion in dating. You've just not met any yet. You haven't given yourself, or them, a chance.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jenn345
so that guy sent me a text just now... saying "thanks for being cool about it lol... i hate playing games too"
no clue what to say to that, since you guys said dont ttext should i just ignore him lol
He's just making it all *okay* in his own mind. Ignore it.
I gotta go.....I don't think this is the guy for Jenn....and the texting is wimpy as well....last I heard girls like guys with a little backbone.....good luck Jenn
Thanks Blue Hue! I appreciate the good advice
Think I'm just going to ignore him, I think by ignoring it he knows I don't think the same.
Last edited by jenn345; 02-05-2011 at 11:35 AM..
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