They say you find love when you aren't looking for it... (dating, how to)

[evilnewbie]

Its JUST a saying, I think you are putting too much stock into words...

[Atlguy39]

I'm not looking for it either, even though I want it. I'm not getting any younger, and want a family. But at the same time, I've almost given up after my divorce. Plus, my career has sort of fallen apart. So why bother to look? A woman is going to look at me and think I'm not financially stable (I sort of am, but far from rich) and run the other way. I mean, whats the point? Maybe I'm just jaded.

[Ittiz]

Originally Posted by HurricaneDC

...but if you're not looking, how will you know it's there?

I have a problem with that saying because, well, it doesn't apply to anything else. I don't get an "A" on an exam when I'm not trying for it, I don't get a promotion when I'm not trying for it. So why don't you get love when you try for it?

Well I don't know. I thought that would be the way I would find love. Yet it wasn't, I looked and found it.

[JustBeingMe404]

Hey Atlguy, if you and the other Atl-area folks ever get together, let me know. Maybe we can all do dinner or something one night.

Anyway, IRT the OP, I think of it like this (coincidentally, this just happened to me a few minutes ago... lol): you're looking for your brown belt and can't find it anywhere. You know it's got to be here because you wore it a couple of weeks ago, and plus... I mean, where else could it be. It's here somewhere! So you spend a couple of hours looking for this elusive belt and finally give up. You decide to wear the pants with no belt... and you're heading out the door when you see the belt hanging off the ironing board.

The moment you stopped looking for it is when you see it. You recognize it because it's what you've been looking for and hoping to find all this time.

[Big-Bad-John]

Like I said.... when I'm not looking I won't find it........ PROMISE! Coming from someone who only works with men and that's all I hang around. No chicks allowed!

[ChessieMom]

Originally Posted by HurricaneDC

...but if you're not looking, how will you know it's there?

I have a problem with that saying because, well, it doesn't apply to anything else. I don't get an "A" on an exam when I'm not trying for it, I don't get a promotion when I'm not trying for it. So why don't you get love when you try for it?

I've never really put much stock into that. I think if you aren't at least mentally and emotionally prepared for the idea, it isn't going to happen.

[HurricaneDC]

Originally Posted by ChessieMom

I've never really put much stock into that. I think if you aren't at least mentally and emotionally prepared for the idea, it isn't going to happen.

I am, or at least I like to think I am... I'm just getting tired of not having someone there.

[Georgianbelle]

It is just a saying....and like many others there is very little truth to it. I think whoever made that saying was trying to say, "Get busy, get a life, and then, people will be attracted to you"....but I could be all wrong.

[city_data91]

Originally Posted by HurricaneDC

...but if you're not looking, how will you know it's there?

I have a problem with that saying because, well, it doesn't apply to anything else. I don't get an "A" on an exam when I'm not trying for it, I don't get a promotion when I'm not trying for it. So why don't you get love when you try for it?

This is my interpretation: If you center your life around finding a girlfriend, it won't happen. Because you can't just "get a girlfriend." A girlfriend is something that has to come naturally.

But I don't think the saying is true. I'm content to be single now, so I'm not looking for a girlfriend. If the saying was true, I would have a girlfriend now (or at least a girl would show interest in me).

[HurricaneDC]

Originally Posted by Georgianbelle

It is just a saying....and like many others there is very little truth to it. I think whoever made that saying was trying to say, "Get busy, get a life, and then, people will be attracted to you"....but I could be all wrong.

That's how I interpret it for the most part. But then it poses the question - what if you get so busy you don't have time for anything else, yknow? Like that's kind of how I'm feeling right now. I've got so much stuff to do for college that even if I did have the nuts to ask a girl out on a date, I wouldn't have the time (or much money honestly) to do it.