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I have a somewhat different issue with my daughter's boyfriend. He calls me Mom and also introduces himself as my son-in-law. I have never come in contact with anyone that just took it upon themselves to do this. Is this normal in current times, or am I the one that is making too much of it? He's been living with my daughter for 5 years.
I'd be putting that straight the first time I'd hear it. "Excuse me?? My name is not mom, I am Meeekawal to you." "son in law??? did I miss something?? No, he is not, he is my daughters bf."
DONE. Nip in the butt the first time you hear it before it becomes a routine.
The parents of your significant other are more likely then not to resent your presence and attempt to diminish your influence. This kind of thing can last long into a marriage. There is a reason for all the in law jokes that have been around forever.
Your relationship with a partners parents and siblings is often a power struggle. They know they are losing influence over a loved one.....lost influence to the new SO. Obviously they may resent this person. It does not have to be this way but a lot of times it is. If in-laws persist in this kind of behavior one of two things usually happens. One they can win by destroying the relationship. Two the significant other has more influence than they do and they destroy their relationship with their own child through their own actions. I’ve seen both scenarios play out multiple times.
It is good to foster a healthy relationship with your child’s serious boyfriends or girlfriends. When they become spouses you will have to keep nice with them if you want to preserve good relationships with both of them. Remember that relationship determines how often you will see your child and your grandchildren.
Why pretend? if the mom calls her son's girlfriend a "friend" that's exactly who she is, i.e. "a friend". The mom need not preface it with GIRL- friend, I mean so what? this "girl" may not be the son's last female friend and the son is not even engaged, yet.....then it would be proper to address her as his fiance, but in short, who cares - the mother's role is to be polite,and fair, not to glorify her son's current "girl"- FRIEND.....heck, the son ain't married !
Is the mom kind of old-school? Certain more elderly types will call significant others in general (NOT just their own kids' SOs) "friend". That doesn't necessarily mean she's in denial, doesn't like it, doesn't want it, etc.
I wouldn't be too peeved about it unless OTHER negative actions of hers comes along w/ it, such as she makes it obvious she doesn't like you or something.
The main thing is your BF knows who you are, doesn't hide it, & it's nice that he corrects her by saying GF, you know who you are, & you're both happy.
I have a somewhat different issue with my daughter's boyfriend. He calls me Mom and also introduces himself as my son-in-law. I have never come in contact with anyone that just took it upon themselves to do this. Is this normal in current times, or am I the one that is making too much of it? He's been living with my daughter for 5 years.
Is he originally from your area? This is/was pretty common in some areas for many years. One of my BIL's calls my parents Mom and Dad. He always has. It's just the way he was raised. Truthfully, I'd kind of like it if my son-in-law called me Mom. To me it says a lot about how he feels about you and your daughter.
As for the son-in-law thing--maybe they don't plan to ever marry legally, but he still feels married and committed to your daughter emotionally, etc. After 5 years it's a way to avoid the "When are you two getting married?" question.
I know the original post is ancient, but a kind of cute story. One of my sisters always called her daughter's boyfriends "Daughter's special friend." Last weekend her daughter was married. During the ceremony they made reference to the now husband as D's "special friend." Those that knew about the inside joke got a bit of a laugh about it.
how old ?
i think yoo are rite. she is in denial. also, most teenage relationships fail so she mite be rite that in a few months yoo will likely be nothing to him (if even a friend).
in junior high and high school, one can get a promise ring in homeroom; then, its 'i dont wanna' see yoo again' by 3rd period.
edit: i'd be confused as well:
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3divina
Introducing someone as "so-and-so's girlfriend" is far from going into detail.
And the situation where she was introducing me by name was about a week ago at his grandfather's funeral. "This is my son, (name), and this is (name)." To each and every guest, she introduced us like that. It's like, we're not gay male partners, and I'm not a hired escort, so why such an introduction?
We've been dating for 2 years and 2 months, we live together...I'm his first serious girlfriend and vice-versa. We're in our late twenties.
When his mom first found out about me, we had been dating for about 3 months. They were on a family vacation in Brazil and she would say to her son, "oh, he has to buy something for his friend."
Last edited by stanley-88888888; 10-01-2020 at 08:56 AM..
I have a somewhat different issue with my daughter's boyfriend. He calls me Mom and also introduces himself as my son-in-law. I have never come in contact with anyone that just took it upon themselves to do this. Is this normal in current times, or am I the one that is making too much of it? He's been living with my daughter for 5 years.
If he were doing this after 5 months, that would be a little more egregious, but 5 years? He's been part of the family for quite a while. If you don't want to be called "Mom" by him, by all means, tell him that.
^i think they would be considered common-law in most states.
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