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Ugh. I think guys that have to hug friends that are women at hello's and goodbye's are just craving to touch a female. I give my female friends handshakes, no joke. I am just not a hugger, except with my current girlfriend, of course.
I sympathize with the OP. And I disagree that just because he wants to hug his best friend means he's not over her romantically. Some people are just more affectionate than others. We're social creatures craving to connect with others and all of us need affection at least to some degrees. The OP perhaps, and myself with him, might just be more sensitive/affectionate than other guys could care less about getting hugs from friends. We can get intimacy from our SO's, but if we're single, then where do we get it? And even if we're not single, it's still nice to be intimate with friends (and by intimate I mean platonically intimate, not sexually).
That is after all main ingredient in good friendship, is it not? Intimacy...That seems to be something a lot of people have lost touched with. Now we live in the facebook world and we have a stadium full of shallow friendships. But for those close friendships we do have, why wouldn't we desire emotional/physical intimacy from them? And especially with our best friend...
Women can get that intimacy from their close female friends. But guys can't get that from their close guy friends. Maybe in other countries, but not in the US. There's way too much social constraint on that; it appears too gay. So then guys are left with their female friendships to turn to for at least some intimacy, especially if they don't have a girlfriend. They're too afraid to have an emotional conversation with a guy or give a guy a nice hug, unless they're drunk. So it's understandable if the OP is frustrated that a close female friend, who also happens to be his best friend, denies him intimacy. One ought to be able to get that intimacy from any close friend, but he's probably even more frustrated with her because she's his best friend and because she's a woman, so if there's anyone he can give a nice hug to, it ought to be her...but she won't let him.
The reason for her not giving you hugs might be associated with you having had a crush on her in the past, as others have mentioned. She's afraid of sending the wrong single to you, that you'll interpret hugs/casual touching, even if completely appropriate, as a desire on her part for romance. So she avoids it. I had a close female friend do the same. I told her I had an interest in dating her early on in our friendship. She wasn't interested, but that was fine since we were still both interested in each other as good friends. But as good friends as we were, she was completely uncomfortable with hugs/touching, unless she initiated it (which she only did like three times in a year. Eventually however she got over the fact that I liked her more than she liked me and, realizing that no, I wasn't going to misinterpret anything, became much more comfortable, after which we regularly gave each other pretty intimate hugs/etc...
Since she's your best friend, you ought to be able to just talk to her about this. Tell her because of how much you care for her as your friend, you'd like to hug her occasionally. You said you have a previous crush on her, not a present one. So tell her that too and tell her she never has to worry about you misinterpreting anything she does or says. Hopefully then she'll be more comfortable with you and won't worry so much about sending the wrong signals...
Ugh. I think guys that have to hug friends that are women at hello's and goodbye's are just craving to touch a female. I give my female friends handshakes, no joke. I am just not a hugger, except with my current girlfriend, of course.
Eh, it all depends on how close they are. If a guy and girl are extremely close to the point where they almost see each other as siblings, I could see them hugging hello and goodbye. With my close female friends, I say goodbye and let them initiate a hug if they want to. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. It's not because I want to get a cheap touch.
I don't speak for everyone, but my wife and I both agree that hugging women friends is just so we men can press against their breasts.....Those of you who are straight who deny this...well, either your aliens in human skin or just plane fibbing.
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.....Those of you who are straight who deny this...well, either your aliens in human skin or just plane fibbing.
