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It is quite the deal...4drm, immaculate, on a private 5 acre lake, with 3 other acres of prime land, owners passed away about 2 years ago, estate just settled, and kids want to sell and be done with Alabama, asking a very LOW price.
I hope he can buy it.
Well said. If things work out and you guys get married later on......much later on....then it won't be a problem to add you to the deed.
My S.O. and I aren't married yet, though we plan to be at some point (not a huge rush for either of us). We have been together four years, and lived together for all but about 4 months of that time. At the two-year mark, SO wanted to buy a house. I've never been a huge "must buy a house" person, myself, but S.O. was marking the close of his twenties, settled at last in the city he'd decided he'd like to stay in, and was ready.
In the end, we househunted together, chose the home together, but it's in his name (at my request). I pay a portion of the mortgage, equivalent to the portion of rent I was paying when we were renters together.
When we're married, I probably will be added to the deed, but we'll see - he's fine with it being added. I just didn't have any big urge to enter into a financial contract with somebody to whom I'm not yet legally connected. It wasn't a matter of the number of years we'd been cohabiting, it had more to do with not being married. It honestly makes no difference to me whether I pay my boyfriend X dollars for my portion of the "rent" and it goes to a landlord we are both paying, or if it goes toward the mortgage on the place we are both living. As I said, home ownership was more something that's my SO's want then it is a big dream of mine...
Are you kidding? Buying a house together is a HUGE commitment and you would be signing up for a lot of potential bad outcomes with very little legal protection (provided by marriage.) What if he decides not to pay the mortgage any more? What if he loses his job and the relationship sours? What if he decides to break it off and starts bringing his new girlfriend home while you're living there and the house is under both your names? There are lots of ways this could turn out unfavorably. Yes, that can happen even if you were married, but you have a heck of a lot more protection if you're married. This is a poor financial decision on your part if you agree to it.
Under no circumstances would I buy a house with this man if you two aren't even ready to make the commitment of marriage. If you're not ready to commit to a lifetime together, then no way are you ready to purchase real estate.
And you know what? That's a perfectly good answer. I would tell him, "I'm open to the idea one day, but I don't think it's the right time yet. We shouldn't be thinking about something like that unless we one day decide to get married. But of course, if you want to do it on your own, go ahead."
Tried to rep you h886 for your excellent analysis below, but was told I gotta spread the rep around
Quote:
Originally Posted by h886
Are you kidding? Buying a house together is a HUGE commitment and you would be signing up for a lot of potential bad outcomes with very little legal protection (provided by marriage.) What if he decides not to pay the mortgage any more? What if he loses his job and the relationship sours? What if he decides to break it off and starts bringing his new girlfriend home while you're living there and the house is under both your names? There are lots of ways this could turn out unfavorably. Yes, that can happen even if you were married, but you have a heck of a lot more protection if you're married. This is a poor financial decision on your part if you agree to it.
Under no circumstances would I buy a house with this man if you two aren't even ready to make the commitment of marriage. If you're not ready to commit to a lifetime together, then no way are you ready to purchase real estate.
And you know what? That's a perfectly good answer. I would tell him, "I'm open to the idea one day, but I don't think it's the right time yet. We shouldn't be thinking about something like that unless we one day decide to get married. But of course, if you want to do it on your own, go ahead."
SO wants "us" to buy a new home, he wants to sell his, where we are currently residing and us buy a newer one together...
I told him, I'd give it some thought after seeing the home, drove by today, looks good so far, but, we are NOT legally married, and nothing said, at least not to the point said about us getting married..
I would marry him, but, as said previously, no hurry. AS I see it, I have two choices...
A. Tell him he can buy it, in his name (don't think he would be able to considering his debt ratio) and we live like we do now...
B. Buy it with him, with a written agreement with what happens if we don't ever get married and one of us decided to move on(I don't see that happening, but, what if?)
C. (insert your advice)
Not sure what to do here...what would you do?
B. Most people DON'T see that happening, but "what if" is right.
Are you kidding? Buying a house together is a HUGE commitment and you would be signing up for a lot of potential bad outcomes with very little legal protection (provided by marriage.) What if he decides not to pay the mortgage any more? What if he loses his job and the relationship sours? What if he decides to break it off and starts bringing his new girlfriend home while you're living there and the house is under both your names? There are lots of ways this could turn out unfavorably. Yes, that can happen even if you were married, but you have a heck of a lot more protection if you're married. This is a poor financial decision on your part if you agree to it.
Under no circumstances would I buy a house with this man if you two aren't even ready to make the commitment of marriage. If you're not ready to commit to a lifetime together, then no way are you ready to purchase real estate.
And you know what? That's a perfectly good answer. I would tell him, "I'm open to the idea one day, but I don't think it's the right time yet. We shouldn't be thinking about something like that unless we one day decide to get married. But of course, if you want to do it on your own, go ahead."
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