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At 20 I was renting a loft in NYC, running my own successful business, working toward my degree and hitting on everything that came along. I was driving a Vette and a KZ-1000 and throwing insane parties.
Of course, that was all going on since I was 17 but I know that wasn't the question ...
Now? Now I'm a monk. No money, no car or bike, no loft. I live in a tiny apartment and eat sparingly. I have no r/l friends and few acquaintances. I only fool around when the opportunity presents itself and promises to go nowhere.
Does that help? Somehow I doubt that it does ...
That actually helps. It goes to show that your dating life at 20 is not always an indication of your dating life when you're older.
Are you no longer managing a strip club? Because you say you have no money, and I would imagine a strip club manager job pays well.
On my 20th birthday I had been dating my college sweetheart about nine months. We met at the beginning of the second semester of my sophomore year, and stayed together until about a year after graduation. Had a fun summer, then met my next long-term relationship (nearly 3 years) at a bar a week after my 23rd birthday. He was supposed to be a one-night stand.
There isn't much difference between then and now. I was socially well-adapted and able to form relationships then, and I'm socially well-adapted and able to form relationships now.
However, I do think that there are more socially maladapted 20-year-olds now than there were then, and I chalk that up to improper and unbalanced use of technology. When people freak out about Facebook friends lists, are unable to pick up a phone and actually talk to a prospective love interest, and cannot muster up the courage to ask someone out by using their voice instead of their thumbs, they are socially maladapted.
Your bad dating life will change when you are no longer socially maladapted.
What is it about voices? You're not the only person that I heard say that. I heard someone (from my generation) say that a guy has no balls if he doesn't ask out a girl with his voice.
I have a fear of rejection, but I don't think technology has anything to do with it. My family got a computer in 1998. But I didn't start using technology seriously until 2005. And my fear of rejection precedes 2005.
Something that bothers me is when people say we (young people) have the rest of our lives to date. Sure, we have the rest of our lives to date. But that doesn't mean we're going to be attractive for the rest of our lives.
That actually helps. It goes to show that your dating life at 20 is not always an indication of your dating life when you're older.
You've got it - at least in THIS case.
Quote:
Are you no longer managing a strip club? Because you say you have no money, and I would imagine a strip club manager job pays well.
Yes, but that's when you're NOT paid mainly by business profits. My contract has little real financial pay up front - it really only kicks in when we have a great night.
Plus, as of late I've been taking myself away from the hands-on stuff, instead subbing out to managers, bouncers, etc., so I pay THAT out of my end also. It's almost like gambling - if you bet you're going to have a great night, put up your money up-front and you actually DO have a good night, you win big. If the night sucks, you lose. Big. So now I struggle daily with an arcane blend of weather info, current local events, state of local businesses, upcoming holidays, dancer availability and road conditions and try to come up with the winning daily number.
Yes, but that's when you're NOT paid mainly by business profits. My contract has little real financial pay up front - it really only kicks in when we have a great night.
Plus, as of late I've been taking myself away from the hands-on stuff, instead subbing out to managers, bouncers, etc., so I pay THAT out of my end also. It's almost like gambling - if you bet you're going to have a great night, put up your money up-front and you actually DO have a good night, you win big. If the night sucks, you lose. Big. So now I struggle daily with an arcane blend of weather info, current local events, state of local businesses, upcoming holidays, dancer availability and road conditions and try to come up with the winning daily number.
Hey, it beats working a 9-5 job.
Phil, so are you sort of a promoter or throw nights? If so, that's interesting. I managed a dance club for awhile, but I was just salaried. My dh, OTOH, used throw nights. The club would supply the booze and bartenders, but his crew worked the door, supplied the DJ's, and decor.
At 20, I had been dating my boyfriend for four years and had been engaged for two. I spent my 20th birthday in Oxford as an exchange student, studying English; he came to visit me and we spent five days in Paris. Dating included movies, going out to eat, a few concerts, family stuff. I was learning to cook then and would make dinner for him and his mom.
Some posters said my bad dating life will change when I get older. But that brings me to the question "What was your dating life like at my age (20)? And what's it like now?"
When you say my dating life will change, are you speaking from your own personal experience? Or are you just making a wild guess?
It was desperate and lonely, now 2 years later it's just lonely.
Lessons learned:
1: Desperation passes over time.
2: Working out like a moron replaces some of the physical needs, horse-liniment on the sword also makes it go away temporarily.
Phil, so are you sort of a promoter or throw nights? If so, that's interesting. I managed a dance club for awhile, but I was just salaried. My dh, OTOH, used throw nights. The club would supply the booze and bartenders, but his crew worked the door, supplied the DJ's, and decor.
Close. The dancers, DJs and bartenders are independent contractors; only the managers and bouncers are employees. Since I'm the "Operations" side of the biz it's up to me to get things going. Sometimes it's more like being the wise and all-powerful Oz behind the curtain, throwing levers and making fire and smoke and noise, all the while hoping people don't see the reality.
I lose money early in the week and, hopefully, make it up on the weekends. A Yin/Yang-kinda' thing ...
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