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I wish I remembered the comedian who said something along the lines of "You know the kind of friends you have when they set you up with losers - so they feel better about their own lives."
Never can understand the "You have to" types, they're way too deep into our culture that doing anything under the status quo is considered abnormal.
Reminds me of a great line from the film "Lean on Me" when Morgan Freeman's character says, "The only thing I have to do is stay black and die!" To hell with other people's expectations, it is your life and the ace in the hole is yours!
I met someone once, who told me his first marriage was because he was dating this girl for a long time and everyone kept asking him, when are you getting married, including all his family members....so, he thought he was supposed to marry her. He did, and it didn't work, of course....
wrong reason to get married...you cannot live up to the expectations of others, and society has to get out of the primitive notion, that you must be a couple to be successful, these are the messages we send to our kids...
once when my son was little, he said, "mommie, I can't wait to get married and have my own family" so of course, we had several discussions on the topic.
I get that a lot, I find it a combination of annoying and flattering. Annoying because not everyone desires to be in a relationship; relationships are a lot of work and unless you have the patience to deal with someone at their worst, you're better off staying single and living free like a bird. It's flattering because your loved ones want you to experience the joy of having someone to talk to, to be there for you in the good and bad. It's a catch 22.
Quote:
"The only thing I have to do is stay black and die!"
LOL! Morgan Freeman tripped me out with that comment. I've used that quite a bit.
Just curious as to who these folks are that are telling you what you do and do not need.
I mean, how do they know your relationship status in the first place? There is no need for co-workers or family to know about such things, and wouldn't it speak about the quality of your friends if they passed judgment on you that way?
The best way to avoid the conversation in the first place is to keep your lovelife to yourself until such time you are serious about someone and would like your friends and family to meet him or her. Sure, if you go to family events alone, rude, nosy people will ask, but the best thing to say is, "Why do you want to know?"
Alternately, if people are intrusive to the point of stressing you out, you can always choose to distance yourself from them.
OP and others, you should be flattered! Friends and family are REALLY thinking "He/she is too awesome to be single!" Honestly, nobody would try to set you up on dates if you were a loser. Nobody would say "why are you still single?" if you sucked.
They'd know why you were single, and would not be able to think of anyone they'd like to foist you off on. They would not be able to envision you being a good partner or parent and thus...would be eerily silent about your singlehood...um ness.
Others simply think you should be sharing your wonderfulness with a lucky person. It is annoying, but take it as a compliment to yourself.
It's a common behavior. People who are newly happy about their (new) relationship, or their diet, or their dog, or their boob job, or their church, or their toilet paper, want YOU to try it too! How could you NOT be happy doing what they are doing?
Seriously, you don't need a girlfriend. But you really should get laid! 'Nuff said.
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so of course, we had several discussions on the topic.
