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Location: The Chatterdome in La La Land, CaliFUNia
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In the past, I have tried online dating sites such as eharmony, matchmaker and other sites but without any luck. The main issue I've found with online dating is that when guys meet me, I somehow do not meet their expectations in the looks department. I don't consider myself to be ugly but I do have some usual facial features that are not obvious in my photographs. Because of this, I wind up disappointed and never getting anywhere. Why are men just so superficial when it comes to looks. After chatting for awhile online and via phone, why write someone off just because they do not look like a supermodel?
*sigh* I guess I will need to forget about the online dating stuff and just try other means of meeting folks.
Recently, I've been chatting with a guy who works in my building about his online dating escapades. Gosh, from just listening to him, I'd be convinced that women are either stupid, or just want a free dinner out of the deal.
Honestly, from what he tells me, the women that he chats with through these sites are either really superficial or not forthcoming at all. He's a good looking guy (and actually after reading his profile, I'd be really interested if I wasn't already seeing someone). But, he's having trouble finding someone to even have a second date with, and it's solely because these women haven't been forthcoming with who they are initially.
OP, I would think that if you were completely forthcoming, and even if you didn't want to send a photo with your "unusual facial looks", just mentioned them, you'd get a lot more bites at this online dating thing.
Recently, I've been chatting with a guy who works in my building about his online dating escapades. Gosh, from just listening to him, I'd be convinced that women are either stupid, or just want a free dinner out of the deal.
Honestly, from what he tells me, the women that he chats with through these sites are either really superficial or not forthcoming at all. He's a good looking guy (and actually after reading his profile, I'd be really interested if I wasn't already seeing someone). But, he's having trouble finding someone to even have a second date with, and it's solely because these women haven't been forthcoming with who they are initially.
OP, I would think that if you were completely forthcoming, and even if you didn't want to send a photo with your "unusual facial looks", just mentioned them, you'd get a lot more bites at this online dating thing.
When I tried the online dating thing, I was ALWAYS forthcoming while describing my looks. Even my odd little tics like my surgery scars (I have two that are very obvious) and my above average height. I've had guys tell me it wasn't a big deal, but upon meeting me, it's suddenly a dealbreaker.
On my last online initiated date (which will probably be the last) he actually told me 'wow, I didn't know you'd be so huge' in reference to my height. He told me he wasn't interested in dating and left about 10 minutes into the date.
It's not the first time stuff like that has happened, so I'm staying away from dating sites from now on.
Recently, I've been chatting with a guy who works in my building about his online dating escapades. Gosh, from just listening to him, I'd be convinced that women are either stupid, or just want a free dinner out of the deal.
Honestly, from what he tells me, the women that he chats with through these sites are either really superficial or not forthcoming at all. He's a good looking guy (and actually after reading his profile, I'd be really interested if I wasn't already seeing someone). But, he's having trouble finding someone to even have a second date with, and it's solely because these women haven't been forthcoming with who they are initially.
OP, I would think that if you were completely forthcoming, and even if you didn't want to send a photo with your "unusual facial looks", just mentioned them, you'd get a lot more bites at this online dating thing.
This. Keep at it; the difference between expectation and reality is what pushes guys away
When I tried the online dating thing, I was ALWAYS forthcoming while describing my looks. Even my odd little tics like my surgery scars (I have two that are very obvious) and my above average height. I've had guys tell me it wasn't a big deal, but upon meeting me, it's suddenly a dealbreaker.
On my last online initiated date (which will probably be the last) he actually told me 'wow, I didn't know you'd be so huge' in reference to my height. He told me he wasn't interested in dating and left about 10 minutes into the date.
It's not the first time stuff like that has happened, so I'm staying away from dating sites from now on.
Oh wow, that's got to be discouraging.
Do you have a friend who would help you come up with a profile? (Sometimes an "objective" opinion and input is invaluable).
Seriously, you are not that bad. Give me a break. This person left because you were "so huge"? Come on.
Back to the friend thing....do you have someone who can help you with a profile, and look at these potential guys with a more objective eye (kind of like a matchmaker?).
..... He told me he wasn't interested in dating and left about 10 minutes into the date.
It's not the first time stuff like that has happened, so I'm staying away from dating sites from now on.
Are you kidding me???? You will not give other guys on-line a chance because ONE guy you met on-line left about 10 minutes into the date??? How old are you really?? Maybe YOU should not be on-line at all!! You need to give a chance to many guys and at least one of them will for sure like you for you. Believe in the power of NUMBERS. Increase the number of people you chat on-line and you will naturally increase your chances of meeting the one. My best friend did, after she was rejected many times on-line by guys who told her she is "fat". Finally, she met the one on e-harmony more than 9 years ago. Yes, they are still married and in fact I am expecting them tonight for dinner..so let me go.. In short, be like prospective employers who collect loads of resumes then they pick the best candidate. They do not just collect 3 resumes.
In the past, I have tried online dating sites such as eharmony, matchmaker and other sites but without any luck. The main issue I've found with online dating is that when guys meet me, I somehow do not meet their expectations in the looks department. I don't consider myself to be ugly but I do have some usual facial features that are not obvious in my photographs. Because of this, I wind up disappointed and never getting anywhere. Why are men just so superficial when it comes to looks. After chatting for awhile online and via phone, why write someone off just because they do not look like a supermodel?
*sigh* I guess I will need to forget about the online dating stuff and just try other means of meeting folks.
Well, many women, right or wrong, also feel that looks mean EVERYTHING!
Sure, you need the right personality for it to last, but usually if you don't pass that initial test of phisical appearance, women want nothing to do with you. Well, not ALL, but many!
Fortunatly, this all is supposed to change as girls get older, where they claim the "inside" is more attractive!
You're attractive when you just relax and be yourself. That's what the right one will see. No matter how "dazzling" the display there ultimatly has to be something deeper.
Location: The Chatterdome in La La Land, CaliFUNia
39,031 posts, read 23,027,552 times
Reputation: 36027
Quote:
Originally Posted by Funny how?
Well, many women, right or wrong, also feel that looks mean EVERYTHING!
Sure, you need the right personality for it to last, but usually if you don't pass that initial test of phisical appearance, women want nothing to do with you. Well, not ALL, but many!
Fortunatly, this all is supposed to change as girls get older, where they claim the "inside" is more attractive!
You're attractive when you just relax and be yourself. That's what the right one will see. No matter how "dazzling" the display there ultimatly has to be something deeper.
I've had two recent encounters in real life where I've given two guys a chance because I thought they had a lot to offer inside even though I wasn't initially attracted to their outward appearance. Neither worked out because the first guy did not have similar values that I have and the other was just plain psycho The point I'm making is that I was willing to look beyond the two guys appearances and see what's on the inside and ultimately, the inside is what turned me off in both situations NOT the guy's looks. Not all women (or men) are superficial but it just seems that I continually run into that whole situation of where my looks are a disappointment to the guys I've met online and that just hurts.
I somehow do not meet their expectations in the looks department. I don't consider myself to be ugly but I do have some usual facial features that are not obvious in my photographs.
Put up an accurate picture then.
Maybe the guys you will get after doing so won't be as good on paper as the guys you did beforehand, but, they'll be in your league to start with, and won't come into the date angry/frustrated with what from their perspective is dishonesty. The difference in how you will be treated will be huge.
Do you have a friend who would help you come up with a profile? (Sometimes an "objective" opinion and input is invaluable).
Seriously, you are not that bad. Give me a break. This person left because you were "so huge"? Come on.
Back to the friend thing....do you have someone who can help you with a profile, and look at these potential guys with a more objective eye (kind of like a matchmaker?).
Actually, one of my best guy friends was the one who proof read and added things to my profile. One of my girlfriends then looked over it and gave it the a-ok.
And yes, this isn't the first time it's happened. If this was the first time it happened it wouldn't have been that bad, but after nearly a year of it, it gets old.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tatiana1
Are you kidding me???? You will not give other guys on-line a chance because ONE guy you met on-line left about 10 minutes into the date??? How old are you really?? Maybe YOU should not be on-line at all!! You need to give a chance to many guys and at least one of them will for sure like you for you. Believe in the power of NUMBERS. Increase the number of people you chat on-line and you will naturally increase your chances of meeting the one. My best friend did, after she was rejected many times on-line by guys who told her she is "fat". Finally, she met the one on e-harmony more than 9 years ago. Yes, they are still married and in fact I am expecting them tonight for dinner..so let me go.. In short, be like prospective employers who collect loads of resumes then they pick the best candidate. They do not just collect 3 resumes.
One guy? Try at least 30 or 40. And that was just actual in person dates over the past year or so. I'm just not cut out for online dating, and believe me, I'm perfectly ok with that I'd prefer to meet someone outside of the online world if possible. Of course, I'm also perfectly happy being single, so dating isn't a big priority to me.
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The point I'm making is that I was willing to look beyond the two guys appearances and see what's on the inside and ultimately, the inside is what turned me off in both situations NOT the guy's looks. Not all women (or men) are superficial but it just seems that I continually run into that whole situation of where my looks are a disappointment to the guys I've met online and that just hurts.
