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Observe his face and his mannerism when the check comes. Is he quickly getting out his own wallet or is he stalling and cautiously looking at you? His behavior should give you a clue. Overall, my opinion that he should pay and not even expect you to pitch in. It's the first date and he asked you out. No brainer to me.
As a man I always pay. There are exceptions: He's a student, he's poor, etc. Like some of the others say: bring enough to pay and offer to split it, but I wouldn't expect it unless he's a penny pincher!
If you're having a good time, ask if you can take him for a drink, coffee, tea, ice cream or whatever afterwards if he says that he's got the meal.
I agree with this 100%, and I'm a guy in my early 40's, if that helps. If you're both having a good time, and you take him for a drink/coffee/ice cream, it shows him you're definitely interested and want to continue the date, or even plan a follow-up date.
Always bring enough to cover (at least) your meal. Usually when I was dating I would always excuse myself to the ladies room when I saw the waitress coming up with the check.
Not to be sneaky, just because I am a firm believer in the man paying (and pulling out chairs, and opening doors, etc). Especially if HE asked YOU.
Whoever asks pays. But the person that was asked out should at least make an offer. It shows that you're not mooching and it shows class. If I ask a woman out, I'll obviously pay but her offering shows class and I'll respect her more for it. But if she doesn't offer, I'll be very hesitant to go on a second date.
When the bill comes you can ask him "Can I help you with that?"
Comes across like I'm doubting his ability to pay though?
Thanks to all for your feedback so far. I think I'll just go with majority and let him pay. I won't offer. I'll probably suggest drinks afterwards where I'll pay.
Comes across like I'm doubting his ability to pay though?
Thanks to all for your feedback so far. I think I'll just go with majority and let him pay. I won't offer. I'll probably suggest drinks afterwards where I'll pay.
Ugh. What a headache.
I agree. I would probably have just as much of a headache if I was dating again. Dating rules are unclear in American culture, especially when it comes to paying on dates. This had been discussed a lot on these forums.
I think offering to help pay sounds like a good bet. Makes you seem willing to cover your share and not just trying to "freeload" and gives him the opportunity to respectfully decline and cover the bill for you. You can always treat him later.
When my fiancee and I go out, I still typically cover the bill. She may treat occasionally, especially when it is her idea. She usually repays me in other ways, such as cooking for me now and then, etc. Of course, we are far beyond the 1st date.
Come to think of it, I think on our first date we met for coffee, and bought our own drinks. I arrived first and bought my own. Offered to get her something when she arrived but she insisted to go up and get her own.
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