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No. I don't really care what they do. Im just saying don't act surprised if freak outs don't get you anywhere but empty handed with a label of drama queen over shallow suggestions not made in malice. One of those pick your battles things. The point of this discussion was to exchange ideas of if these reactions are over the top. So far its mostly ladies responding. I personally just don't think any guy would desire that type of interaction and response over some very small things.
My guess is that as long as the guy was getting some, he couldn't care less.
Opsimathia....these so-called "shallow suggestions" can only come from a shallow person
Not wanting a fatty isn't shallow. At all.
All the fat women need to come to terms with the fact that dudes do not find them attractive instead of pretending they're actually hot and guys are shallow bastards.
I think it's the fact that they were newly dating these guys that makes a big difference. If my husband or boyfriend made the request, I'd consider if it was something I wanted. Some guy I've been on 3 or 4 dates with - no. You don't know me well enough to ask for me to change for you and that's what it is - me changing for you. Maybe what you see as a flaw, I see as 'me'. I don't know him well enough to ask him to change either. I would never go to some almost stranger and tell them their perceived flaws. That borders on arrogance - whether you're a man or a woman.
If after 3 or 4 dates you feel the person needs to change to make you happy, you need to date someone else.
Yeah, I can't imagine that a guy who's so open and frank and not at all emotional (as we've been told on this thread) would love it if a woman he's been on 3 or 4 dates with wanted him to dress differently or get a haircut or get a better job. He'd be crabbing to his buddies about "why do all women want to change men?" real quick.
Agreed. If she is going to share...SHARE. The half share seems like deception.
If she really was ok with it why not talk about who all the friends are and share some stories? Obviously they have platonic ones if they are actually platonic. I agree totally that its rude to tell someone of parties or plans and then not invite them. Why is him asking about who her friends are intrusive?
Is he not allowed to get to know her and her friends?
He is allowed to get to know her friends at her discretion, not his. Imagine if a woman started asking a man she has only begun to date who he was going out with. Oh, ye gods, we'd never hear the end of how nosy or controlling she is. "What are you, my mother?"
When my SO and I started dating exclusively, I invited him to a party to meet my friends. They are good people, and I do believe that you can tell a lot about a person by who their friends are. However, that did not occur until we were in an established relationship a couple months along. Fine line, but a line nonetheless.
Not at all. Going out with someone who is fat and telling them to lose weight is.
How do you figure? If you've been dating a girl with marriage potential and she starts ballooning up, telling her she's starting to get a little portly is not bad. I'd never go out with a fat girl initially with the intent of having her lose weight; perhaps that's what you're implying.
How do you figure? If you've been dating a girl with marriage potential and she starts ballooning up, telling her she's starting to get a little portly is not bad. I'd never go out with a fat girl initially with the intent of having her lose weight; perhaps that's what you're implying.
Yes, that seemed to be the original case in point.
Yes, that seemed to be the original case in point.
The article said, "new boyfriend." This means, to me, they're serious; much different than a guy she saw a few times.
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