Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-23-2011, 12:22 PM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,189,540 times
Reputation: 17797

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Opsimathia View Post
No. I don't really care what they do. Im just saying don't act surprised if freak outs don't get you anywhere but empty handed with a label of drama queen over shallow suggestions not made in malice. One of those pick your battles things. The point of this discussion was to exchange ideas of if these reactions are over the top. So far its mostly ladies responding. I personally just don't think any guy would desire that type of interaction and response over some very small things.
My guess is that as long as the guy was getting some, he couldn't care less.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-23-2011, 12:25 PM
 
13,511 posts, read 19,281,755 times
Reputation: 16581
Opsimathia....these so-called "shallow suggestions" can only come from a shallow person
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-23-2011, 12:31 PM
 
Location: US
5,139 posts, read 12,712,660 times
Reputation: 5385
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
My guess is that as long as the guy was getting some, he couldn't care less.
Oh he will care eventually and then get labeled a user.You gotta give love to get love. Communicating on likes and needs is part of bonding.


Quote:
Originally Posted by purehuman View Post
Opsimathia....these so-called "shallow suggestions" can only come from a shallow person
I prefer the term aesthetically sensitive.

Guys are triggered by visuals even more than women. Accept them for who they are. Oh wait...only guys are suppose to do that. ooopsiee.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-23-2011, 12:34 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
819 posts, read 1,129,725 times
Reputation: 1279
Quote:
Originally Posted by purehuman View Post
Opsimathia....these so-called "shallow suggestions" can only come from a shallow person
Not wanting a fatty isn't shallow. At all.

All the fat women need to come to terms with the fact that dudes do not find them attractive instead of pretending they're actually hot and guys are shallow bastards.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-23-2011, 12:38 PM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,189,540 times
Reputation: 17797
Quote:
Originally Posted by Free Beer View Post
Not wanting a fatty isn't shallow. At all.
Not at all. Going out with someone who is fat and telling them to lose weight is.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-23-2011, 12:43 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,746 posts, read 34,389,499 times
Reputation: 77104
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dea13 View Post
I think it's the fact that they were newly dating these guys that makes a big difference. If my husband or boyfriend made the request, I'd consider if it was something I wanted. Some guy I've been on 3 or 4 dates with - no. You don't know me well enough to ask for me to change for you and that's what it is - me changing for you. Maybe what you see as a flaw, I see as 'me'. I don't know him well enough to ask him to change either. I would never go to some almost stranger and tell them their perceived flaws. That borders on arrogance - whether you're a man or a woman.

If after 3 or 4 dates you feel the person needs to change to make you happy, you need to date someone else.
Yeah, I can't imagine that a guy who's so open and frank and not at all emotional (as we've been told on this thread) would love it if a woman he's been on 3 or 4 dates with wanted him to dress differently or get a haircut or get a better job. He'd be crabbing to his buddies about "why do all women want to change men?" real quick.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-23-2011, 01:03 PM
 
8,679 posts, read 15,269,059 times
Reputation: 15342
Quote:
Originally Posted by Opsimathia View Post
Agreed. If she is going to share...SHARE. The half share seems like deception.
If she really was ok with it why not talk about who all the friends are and share some stories? Obviously they have platonic ones if they are actually platonic. I agree totally that its rude to tell someone of parties or plans and then not invite them. Why is him asking about who her friends are intrusive?
Is he not allowed to get to know her and her friends?
He is allowed to get to know her friends at her discretion, not his. Imagine if a woman started asking a man she has only begun to date who he was going out with. Oh, ye gods, we'd never hear the end of how nosy or controlling she is. "What are you, my mother?"

When my SO and I started dating exclusively, I invited him to a party to meet my friends. They are good people, and I do believe that you can tell a lot about a person by who their friends are. However, that did not occur until we were in an established relationship a couple months along. Fine line, but a line nonetheless.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-23-2011, 01:08 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
819 posts, read 1,129,725 times
Reputation: 1279
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Not at all. Going out with someone who is fat and telling them to lose weight is.
How do you figure? If you've been dating a girl with marriage potential and she starts ballooning up, telling her she's starting to get a little portly is not bad. I'd never go out with a fat girl initially with the intent of having her lose weight; perhaps that's what you're implying.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-23-2011, 01:11 PM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,189,540 times
Reputation: 17797
Quote:
Originally Posted by Free Beer View Post
How do you figure? If you've been dating a girl with marriage potential and she starts ballooning up, telling her she's starting to get a little portly is not bad. I'd never go out with a fat girl initially with the intent of having her lose weight; perhaps that's what you're implying.
Yes, that seemed to be the original case in point.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-23-2011, 01:13 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
819 posts, read 1,129,725 times
Reputation: 1279
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Yes, that seemed to be the original case in point.
The article said, "new boyfriend." This means, to me, they're serious; much different than a guy she saw a few times.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:42 PM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top