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A cheat and a liar who still doesn't know what he wants is a wonderful person? Damn lady, you have some low expectations. That, or you're trolling. I'm hoping it's the latter.
This friend might deserve better friends than what she has to offer. OTOH, given birds of a feather and all, perhaps the lot of them are just crappy to each other.
Yes he is he, helped me get through some problems in my life and I am so thankful to have met him and want to spend the rest of my life with him
Its not all about the sex he does other good things
Like what? Is he a liar/cheat volunteering in the peace corps or habitat for humanity? Is he running a no-kill animal shelter? Is he a foster parent to disabled children? Is he saving lives some where? Please, what good things is this guy doing that can have you overlook the reckless harm he causes.
Like what? Is he a liar/cheat volunteering in the peace corps or habitat for humanity? Is he running a no-kill animal shelter? Is he a foster parent to disabled children? Is he saving lives some where? Please, what good things is this guy doing that can have you overlook the reckless harm he causes.
He's always there for me when Ineed him, He pays my car note, he gives me great advice(non-relationship), he's the definition of a real man! He's human and he makes mistakes
If you met him too you would see how great of a person he is and would probably want to be with him too
No, most of us wouldn't. Cheats and liars are not acceptable in BFs OR friends.
You have the added benefit of knowing what he is upfront - but you will ignore it. I suspect you will lose him eventually - heck, you don't even HAVE him, he is unsure if he wants to leave your "friend"- you will also lose your "friend" and most of the mutual friends, if they have any loyalty.
Your getting ready to tell your friend, and he doesn't even know if he wants to be with you. Sorry, this reeks of desperation.
Sigh.... why do women do this to themselves? You want to get involved with a guy that's a known cheater and you believe that he won't cheat on you because somehow your relationship with him is "special". I'm sure your friend felt the same way. And so will the girl after you.
I think there needs to be a window of no contact with the ex for awhile before dating within the friend circle. Its a definite no go when its the on/off situation. He may be trying to change but he is not actually changing by coming between you two girls. He is still being selfish. People like that do good things so you think they are good people and they get praise for it. Don't buy into that sale. His character is not so great because he cheated in the past on his fiance and now is coming between friends. He hasn't changed a bit. I think there is this myth that cheaters and bad people act horrible all the time when its just not true. Cheaters tend to be very charming. Its one of the reasons they can cheat!
You can get everything out of a friendship with him. That would be safe for you, your friendship and your rep. You don't want another person's scraps anyway. I bet you too if you talked to him and talked to her about their relationship you would get two different stories. The difference is your real friend is not trying to get in your pants. I would ask her how its going and what her plans were while taking no action of your own. Then sit back a couple months in platonic mode and just watch how this guy behaves. Even if your friend didnt exist its generally a bad idea to date someone who just dealt with cheating as a problem in the previous relationship. They have not had time or solitude to really change who they are.
I think there needs to be a window of no contact with the ex for awhile before dating within the friend circle. Its a definite no go when its the on/off situation. He may be trying to change but he is not actually changing by coming between you two girls. He is still being selfish. People like that do good things so you think they are good people and they get praise for it. Don't buy into that sale. His character is not so great because he cheated in the past on his fiance and now is coming between friends. He hasn't changed a bit. I think there is this myth that cheaters and bad people act horrible all the time when its just not true. Cheaters tend to be very charming. Its one of the reasons they can cheat!
You can get everything out of a friendship with him. That would be safe for you, your friendship and your rep. You don't want another person's scraps anyway. I bet you too if you talked to him and talked to her about their relationship you would get two different stories. The difference is your real friend is not trying to get in your pants. I would ask her how its going and what her plans were while taking no action of your own. Then sit back a couple months in platonic mode and just watch how this guy behaves. Even if your friend didnt exist its generally a bad idea to date someone who just dealt with cheating as a problem in the previous relationship. They have not had time or solitude to really change who they are.
No, most of us wouldn't. Cheats and liars are not acceptable in BFs OR friends.
You have the added benefit of knowing what he is upfront - but you will ignore it. I suspect you will lose him eventually - heck, you don't even HAVE him, he is unsure if he wants to leave your "friend"- you will also lose your "friend" and most of the mutual friends, if they have any loyalty.
Your getting ready to tell your friend, and he doesn't even know if he wants to be with you. Sorry, this reeks of desperation.
I don't understand why some people function on their feelings rather than logic explanations. I don't think that's a smart idea. Seriously there are consequences unless you know for a fact that the field is safe. So many red flags. Their on and off relationship, his uncertainty, and your friendship is on the line. Maybe now is not the time to pursue him. Can you wait?
Do yourself a favor and let the sparkle of new interest fade out. Dude is bad news. And he knows exactly what he wants he just doesn't want to admit it. You have no problem maybe playing around and he can always go back to your friend who forgave him for cheating. If he really liked either of you in a true way he would have no problem making a decision. But since he is trying to figure out how to play you both he knows he can't say anything definite that would mess up his chances with her or you. Imagine if he did this to you? Usually people who don't really see the emotional consequence of what they have done tend to repeat it with new people. He doesn't see it or he wouldn't be putting you in this position. And who knows how many other girls he is talking to saying all the same things? Cheaters don't get caught on all the cheating most of the time. He could have 5 other chicks he is telling the same crap to. Don't buy it. Its easy to pay a car note and say nice things. That is a charmer/player. Its not easy to suppress impulses for the greater good of others around you. That is who you should look for and strive to be. Its less guilt and risk of violence thats for sure.
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