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2-forget the "the guy has to do the pursuing." Thats passe and likely self defeating.
This is excellent advice.
You have the trifecta: attractive, intelligent and shy. In the world of dating, you will be misunderstood as a stuck-up woman. People just cannot imagine that a person with so much going for them is shy.
You'll have to initiate conversation or you'll just end up frustrated that no guy wants to talk to you. You don't have to flat out ask them out or throw yourself at them. Just start with idle chit chat about homework, majors, tips on good professors with guys in your classes you find interesting. You can also join clubs or intramural sports or student government - activities where you have to be around the same people. The nice thing about college is that there is a good variety of different things where you can meet people.
As for parties and bars, you don't have to drink but I can see how tedious it can get at 1 a.m. when everyone around you is seriously drunk and throwing up.
Sorry Pimp. But I would much rather one of my daughters set her sights on a Deans List member than a frat boy who thinks his contribution to society is to drink as many cans of Bud Light as he can so he can say "See how much aluminum I recycled?" If a young lady who is serious about her studies,as the OP seems to be, can find a young man who studies as hard as she does, she at least has found a man who has a decent shot at helping pave the way for a bright future. They can party later if they so choose. I think the Captain is right on this one.
"Dean's List member" and "frat boy" are far from being mutually exclusive as you imply here. In fact, where I went to college, the average GPA for fraternity members was higher than the average GPA for non-fraternity members.
Take the advice from Capt. Dan.
Also, me:
I used to be just like you. And I waited for the guy to find ME!
Guess who I wound up with:
A wonderful, respectful young man who doesn't drink, smoke, party, skirt-chase
Responsible, wonderful husband and now father
Treats me like a princess
Treats my daughter like a princess
Is a wonderful role model for our two boys
We have been married for 24 years
Dated for two
I am a successful CFO
Never partied in college
Take your time. Stick to your values and morals and you will be one of the very few
who will be happily married on this board in the future giving another young lady the very same
advice I am now giving you
P.S. You are beautiful. There is nothing wrong with you. And soon enough the right young man will recognize that.
Thank you...I appreciate the kind words. And the encouragement.
I do hear and appreciate what everyone is saying...but the drinking's not going to happen, lol...not until I'm 21 anyway. As for my grades...I'm a physics major AND pre-vet, so my grades DO matter...a great deal. I also have scholarships to maintain. I didn't want to live on campus...I go to a major university right here in town, and commute from home (my choice...I have obligations that require me to be in this part of town on a daily basis anyway, and dorm life doesn't appeal to me). There is a small group of us from the honors program that have lunch together every Friday, but there's one guy and 8 girls, lol...I do make chit-chat with him, because I'd definitely go out with him if he asked me. I blew it a few weeks ago though, when he walked us all to the train at night after a function...everyone else had left, and he asked if I wanted him to stay there until the train came since it was night-time...STUPID me said no. See, I know that's part of the problem. But I am working on it.
I knew chicks in college who made statements like yours when they saw someone with a beer in hand, and NONE of them had very many friends OR dates.
I'm of a different opinion.
It's like you're saying the only way she will have fun and friend's is to drink. This message is beaten into people daily, just look at a beer commcerial or advertisement. They generally got some guy drinking next to a bomb shell babe(s). Their telling guys, you drink, you get the babes etc.
Anyhow, I applaud this person for having values and goals at such a young age and the guts to stand by them in today's world.
It's like you're saying the only way she will have fun and friend's is to drink. This message is beaten into people daily, just look at a beer commcerial or advertisement. They generally got some guy drinking next to a bomb shell babe(s). Their telling guys, you drink, you get the babes etc.
Anyhow, I applaud this person for having values and goals at such a young age and the guts to stand by them in today's world.
Dating is like the lottery. You got to have a ticket to win. Just keep going out there to meet guys. Don't give up. Admit and learn from "mistakes". There aren't that many decent guys out there, anyway, so you are not alone in your searching experiences.
You're 18 years old..Relax and enjoy life..You're waaayyyy too young to be worried about guys. Get yourself going in the direction you want to. It will come to you eventually and when it should. Trust me, if I could do my life all over again, I wouldn't have been worrying about guys when I was 18..
There's nothing wrong with you. You seem to have it all together and that is rare for an 18 year old in this era. The right guy is out there, but he's going to be hard to find. Keep being social and friendly without changing your core values. Be patient and have fun. Eventually you'll meet someone who is worthy of you, until then enjoy your life.
18?? wow, don't worry so much looks like someone's missing out. Just give it some time. Focusing on
school at 18 is a great way to live your young years. Your not drinking, smoking, etc etc doing the dumb things that some girls do at your age...that kind of stuff always turned me off. So your shy so what. Guys don't care if a girl is shy I think it makes them more approachable.....your doing great just take your time.
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