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Your mom is like my elderly mom....still very loyal toward their now missing Husband due to death . It doesnt negate the need for meaningful interaction thru friendships however ...i see my mom needing this more and more as she ages.
The married people ive talked to who have current rotten marriages, dont want to leave for several reasons :
1. Theyve only known marriage for all thier adult years and are afraid what being on their own would be like .
2. They are afraid of their spouses reaction which may result in physical retaliation (a concern of the wife) .
3. They have serious current illnesses whereby they dont have much longer to live in all reality, so, they are more inclind to just live out their shortened life by staying married.
4. They lack the friendships needed for a support group if they did get divorced.
It must be very difficult for such people.
lol, just wondering what your definition of "elderly" is and what your mothers age is?
I mean you're like 19 right? So how old could she be??
Not to mention financial reasons--fear of being taken to the cleaners (I've seen both husbands and wives get taken so let's not make it a war of the sexes).
Sure, financial reasons is a big one. Im not making it 'a war of the sexes'...rather, im disseminating information based soley on my personal interactions with those who have been married 30+ years and who are in highly toxic marriages --- both husbands and wifes .
There was a time, in this country, when it was considered quite rude to ask how old a woman was. My thoughts are that it is no one's business how old I am. I realize on dating sites, this is part of the sign up and filtering process, so I would avoid them like the plague.
You need to spend some time out in the community. Spend time pursuing your INTERESTS such as art, music, theater, or volunteering. But, for goodness sakes do it where eligible men *might* be present (not the ladies hospital auxiliary). To be really smart you would develop an interest in things that men like, such as astronomy, sports, historical re-enactments, radio controlled vehicles, race cars, shooting, etc. Take some college courses (engineering, math, history, science).
If you find someone who is interesting to talk with pursue the relationship even if he is younger (even much younger). It's just a number and limiting yourself to men that you think are of a "suitable" age is folly.
There was a time, in this country, when it was considered quite rude to ask how old a woman was. My thoughts are that it is no one's business how old I am. I realize on dating sites, this is part of the sign up and filtering process, so I would avoid them like the plague.
Dating sites also ask income levels, which is by far a much ruder thing to ask. You should avoid them like the plague because they're worthless. They filter people using a few criteria that seem infinitely important but really aren't a big deal in the grand scheme of things.
There was a time, in this country, when it was considered quite rude to ask how old a woman was. My thoughts are that it is no one's business how old I am. I realize on dating sites, this is part of the sign up and filtering process, so I would avoid them like the plague.
You need to spend some time out in the community. Spend time pursuing your INTERESTS such as art, music, theater, or volunteering. But, for goodness sakes do it where eligible men *might* be present (not the ladies hospital auxiliary). To be really smart you would develop an interest in things that men like, such as astronomy, sports, historical re-enactments, radio controlled vehicles, race cars, shooting, etc. Take some college courses (engineering, math, history, science).
If you find someone who is interesting to talk with pursue the relationship even if he is younger (even much younger). It's just a number and limiting yourself to men that you think are of a "suitable" age is folly.
20yrsinBranson
I dont think anyone should be shameful of their age...not since we are ALL increasing in it ! Im glad im in my mid 50's and ive never been more fulfilled in life ... and that as a divorcee of 19 years too. I have interactions all the time of far younger people than myself as well as some older ones --- people are people and its wonderful going thru the discovery process when meeting new people. There are some, however, that would be wise NOT to pursue due to the wide age gap which could impact maturity and certainly generation gap compatibility . But it doesnt preclude them from being our Friends and interacting regularly with them. Its amazing how much we can learn about ourselves thru a wide variety of people of differing ages, socio-economic status , gender, or lifestyles (not to say that we must agree with them) .
It is harder for middleaged and older women to meet eligible men...statistics alone bear that out. Men die earlier than women, on average. A single, straight, eligible, decent guy will not lack for company if he so chooses. In FL retirement circles when a man's spouse dies the "Brisket Brigade" appears...women who show up with food and comfort (wink-wink) trying to hook the man before someone else gets to him. Even the 80 yr old men have their fans, especially in those communities.
So yes, it sucks if you are wanting a relationship and also happen to be over 50 and want a man who is in the age range of say 45 - 55. In online dating the average man wants a woman who is about 10 - 15 years younger than him, once he is over 40. That's been statistically verified. It is what it is.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson
There was a time, in this country, when it was considered quite rude to ask how old a woman was. My thoughts are that it is no one's business how old I am. I realize on dating sites, this is part of the sign up and filtering process, so I would avoid them like the plague.
You need to spend some time out in the community. Spend time pursuing your INTERESTS such as art, music, theater, or volunteering. But, for goodness sakes do it where eligible men *might* be present (not the ladies hospital auxiliary). To be really smart you would develop an interest in things that men like, such as astronomy, sports, historical re-enactments, radio controlled vehicles, race cars, shooting, etc. Take some college courses (engineering, math, history, science).
If you find someone who is interesting to talk with pursue the relationship even if he is younger (even much younger). It's just a number and limiting yourself to men that you think are of a "suitable" age is folly.
20yrsinBranson
It's just preference. Everyone has preferences for some things. Mine is from experience. Since I was 18 (when I got over wanting-a-bad-boy syndrome) I've preferred men older than myself.
It is harder for middleaged and older women to meet eligible men...statistics alone bear that out. Men die earlier than women, on average. A single, straight, eligible, decent guy will not lack for company if he so chooses. In FL retirement circles when a man's spouse dies the "Brisket Brigade" appears...women who show up with food and comfort (wink-wink) trying to hook the man before someone else gets to him. Even the 80 yr old men have their fans, especially in those communities.
So yes, it sucks if you are wanting a relationship and also happen to be over 50 and want a man who is in the age range of say 45 - 55. In online dating the average man wants a woman who is about 10 - 15 years younger than him, once he is over 40. That's been statistically verified. It is what it is.
Not to add fuel to the fire, but, another statistic for age 45-60 women who are desiring re-marriage ..... it has only a 2% probability in general. And for men in the same age range, its only 4% . So, it looks like RE-marriage isnt as popular as it once was. No doubt, cohabitation is being seen as a more viable alternative for this age range and especially in younger circles (not to my approval by the way) .
Its true in the age range of 45-60 , there are far more available single ladies than men --- good for the men but bad for the women (???) . Id imagine so. , but then again, theres way too many whiny women out there and catty too . I cant take too much of that at one time ; I suppose i could develop more patience though if she enjoys Classic Car Shows !
As for the Nursing Home 'Brisket Brigade' ... just about any woman would win my heart over if she does a great Pecan Pie ; Id be willing to escort her to the Bingo table on Saturday night...but marriage is a No-go regardless of what she does for me ! lol..
All of the above is in jest by the way. I do love ladies for the way they are wired.
Dating sites also ask income levels, which is by far a much ruder thing to ask. You should avoid them like the plague because they're worthless. They filter people using a few criteria that seem infinitely important but really aren't a big deal in the grand scheme of things.
They don't "ask". It's a part of your profile that you can populate, or leave it blank. I have never ever filled that in, and neither did most of the men that I dated. Good grief.
Plenty of very appealing women over 50. With the added benefit they have matured in the head since they were 22. Much easier to deal with.
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