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Could you explain why traveling 5-6 times a year from point A to point B is easier than travelling 5-6 times a year from B to A?
Sure, her job allows her to travel since she works 3 days a week. She can go for long weekends to see her parents pretty much whenever we can afford to buy a ticket. I, at this time, do not have that luxury. A lot of the times she came up, I would stay in FL and work, etc.
I think you should try harder to find a job there, and stay put for awhile. I think your wife may be a little tired of doing things your way w/ no good results. It does come across as selfish to me, afterall she already made how many moves based on your job needs? I don't know who all these folks are that you feel you have to visit in Florida, but her family is where she is now. Just try harder to find the right job there, and don't keep pressuring her right now, if you make her choose she may choose her family.
I think you should try harder to find a job there, and stay put for awhile. I think your wife may be a little tired of doing things your way w/ no good results. It does come across as selfish to me, afterall she already made how many moves based on your job needs? I don't know who all these folks are that you feel you have to visit in Florida, but her family is where she is now. Just try harder to find the right job there, and don't keep pressuring her right now, if you make her choose she may choose her family.
I understand your point. We moved because we wanted to, and then the last time, took an opportunity I felt like I had to take, and she was ok with the moves. This is the only one we've had any differences on.
Did you have both children when you lived in Florida or was one or were both born after you moved to NC? It seems this is a big factor -- she appears to have more of the childcare responsibilities, and it is her family who is helping her with that.
Perhaps if you had a real job offer in hand with an exact salary figure, it would make it easier to decide. Maybe you could let the person who is "waiting on you" know that if he extends a job offer, it could be more attractive to your family to make the move.
I can kind of see why she doesn't want to move. There are quite a few big if's in this situation. Why can't you stay near her family for a few years until the children are old enough to be in school and consider the move after that?
Go where you can make the best overall living. It doesn't matter who lives in your backyard if you are broke and unemployed. Unless, of course, they are willing to support you!
Family is nice but as long as they aren't paying the bills, you have to go where you can make a living.
Does your wife work? Maybe you could afford to stay in NC if she worked full time. There are always ways to even out the balance.
Do what's right for your own family. They are more important than any of your other relatives.
[quote=Henna;22332025]Did you have both children when you lived in Florida or was one or were both born after you moved to NC? It seems this is a big factor -- she appears to have more of the childcare responsibilities, and it is her family who is helping her with that.
Perhaps if you had a real job offer in hand with an exact salary figure, it would make it easier to decide. Maybe you could let the person who is "waiting on you" know that if he extends a job offer, it could be more attractive to your family to make the move.
I can kind of see why she doesn't want to move. There are quite a few big if's in this situation. Why can't you stay near her family for a few years until the children are old enough to be in school and consider the move after that?[/quote]
Hi, that's a good possibility.
Only had one child in FL, other child was born in NC.
[quote=yellowsnow;22332376]Go where you can make the best overall living. It doesn't matter who lives in your backyard if you are broke and unemployed. Unless, of course, they are willing to support you! Right on, I hear ya there. I'm trying to do what's best for us financially. Definitely don't depend on family to take care of us.
Family is nice but as long as they aren't paying the bills, you have to go where you can make a living. I agree.
Does your wife work? Maybe you could afford to stay in NC if she worked full time. There are always ways to even out the balance. Yes, she works, full-time. I'd like for her to work less and she wants to work less. Not possible in our current situation. I've got a relative in FL that does what I'll be doing, and I'd be able to let her stay home more with kids if I'm making more money (in FL).
Do what's right for your own family. They are more important than any of your other relatives.
For all those who have said "money isn't everything." I totally agree. However, if you had your pick, would you want to make $40k or $75k doing the exact same thing? And what if the place that you would much rather be in was the one that paid the higher amount? See what I mean?
I hear you regarding the whole NC FL thing. I'm born and raised in Miami and the ex was too. We moved up to NC (Charlotte) and we loved it. When we broke up, I came back to Miami. He stayed up there. Now I want to go back to NC (Charlotte) and he's coming back down to FL next month (Tampa). I understand all about the difference in money etc as it was very different for him too. However you need to look at the quality of your life between the two states. I understand the pull of family but there are planes, trains and automobiles..Good luck
Sit her down and rationally explain this all to her. And you aren't 'leader' of any household, you 2 are a team that works together. And i can assure you that if you pull the old 'my word goes' bull you will cause a world of crap in your relationship.
Logically explaining things to a woman does not work, and he IS the leader of the household.
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