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Im in my mid 30s and have dated quite a bit for the last 15 years. I have dated some wonderful girls and some who turned out to be a total waste of time, as one would expect. One thing all of the ladies I dated had in common, is that they put me (and other possible mates FWIW) through neverending series of tests of sorts, from the first date all the way through a long term serious relationship. Having interest in human psychology, and how both sexes relate to each other, I have noticed most every test thrown my way and usually pointed it out to my date or SO, sometimes at a cost. Here are some of the more common tests, that I notice on regular basis:
- when initialy meeting in a social place, a woman will ask a guy to watch her purse or a jacket as she goes to the ladies room with her friend (dont do it guys).
- A woman will often try to get your attention, while you are doing something seemingly important to you, like watching your favorite NFL team in the playoffs.
- A woman will often try to change your schedule around, in order to see if you are willing to give up something important to you in favor of what she wants to do at that given time.
- A woman will walk away from a man and a man is to follow, but never anymore than twice as this will deem him weak. If he doesn't follow at all she will think he is not interested. This is all part of the mating ritual and a lot of women will not even know they are doing it.
- A woman may start an argument with someone in your presence just to see if you will stick up for her. I'd advise sticking up for her and then if you have a big disagreement with what she is doing, discuss it with her in private and let her tell you her view point.
- A woman may be intentionally late just to see if you set barriers or not. Set barriers. Be firm but don't be a jerk. Let them know it's not okay to be late.
- A woman wants proof that you love her and persistence is the only way they know you aren't a quitter, as a quitter wouldn't really love them. In other words if you really love them, you won't quit. Keep in mind at the same time not to crowd them, give them space.
This is only a tip of the iceberg, and I copuld probably write a book about these types of tests, but let me assure you, it isnt a short list by any means.
My question to you ladies is the following. When you put a man through these series of tests, is it something that you do on a conscious level, while being completely aware of what is taking place? In that case why do you do it?
Or is it something that you do subconsciously, and is nothing than a tool of nature instilled in females to assure that they pick a suitabe mate? Perhaps its a combination of both? Looking forward to your responses.
Im in my mid 30s and have dated quite a bit for the last 15 years. I have dated some wonderful girls and some who turned out to be a total waste of time, as one would expect. One thing all of the ladies I dated had in common, is that they put me (and other possible mates FWIW) through neverending series of tests of sorts, from the first date all the way through a long term serious relationship. Having interest in human psychology, and how both sexes relate to each other, I have noticed most every test thrown my way and usually pointed it out to my date or SO, sometimes at a cost. Here are some of the more common tests, that I notice on regular basis:
- when initialy meeting in a social place, a woman will ask a guy to watch her purse or a jacket as she goes to the ladies room with her friend (dont do it guys).
- A woman will walk away from a man and a man is to follow, but never anymore than twice as this will deem him weak. If he doesn't follow at all she will think he is not interested. This is all part of the mating ritual and a lot of women will not even know they are doing it.
- A woman may start an argument with someone in your presence just to see if you will stick up for her. I'd advise sticking up for her and then if you have a big disagreement with what she is doing, discuss it with her in private and let her tell you her view point.
- A woman may be intentionally late just to see if you set barriers or not. Set barriers. Be firm but don't be a jerk. Let them know it's not okay to be late.
- A woman wants proof that you love her and persistence is the only way they know you aren't a quitter, as a quitter wouldn't really love them. In other words if you really love them, you won't quit. Keep in mind at the same time not to crowd them, give them space.
This is only a tip of the iceberg, and I copuld probably write a book about these types of tests, but let me assure you, it isnt a short list by any means.
My question to you ladies is the following. When you put a man through these series of test, is it something that you do on a conscious level, while being completely aware of what is taking place? In that case why do you do it?
Or is it something that you do subconsciously, and is nothing than a tool of nature instilled in females to assure that they pick a suitabe mate? Perhaps its a combination of both? Looking forward to your responses.
First test - free money
Second test - If you do something wrong, I can catch you
Third test - Yes I can handle an argument better than you, and I know more about everything than you
Fourth test - Wow I'm a great catch and on time
Fifth test - If I'm persistent enough to deal with your crap, don't even think about holding anything out on me.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,005,830 times
Reputation: 9418
I can honestly say I've never put a man through one of these tests. I think you're possibly reading too much into average things people do in general. Way too much. Most people don't sit out and plot like that. I think those that do are on the verge of some major issues and I just don't think that many people are that messed up.
I can see people--men as well as women--doing an occasional test when something provokes them or raises suspicions. Other than that, nothing to this extent. Wow.
I can honestly say I've never put a man through one of these tests. I think you're possibly reading too much into average things people do in general. Way too much. Most people don't sit out and plot like that. I think those that do are on the verge of some major issues and I just don't think that many people are that messed up.
I can see people--men as well as women--doing an occasional test when something provokes them or raises suspicions. Other than that, nothing to this extent. Wow.
Good for you, not trying to generalize all women in any fashion. But Ive dated dozens of girls and each and every one threw some of these tests at me, at all points of courting or a relationship. I dont think its necessarily a bad thing, nor do I think any less of the women I dated because of it, but simply have a genuine interest in why this takes place.
The test date... where a woman who was previously unavailable
for whatever reason decides to try out dating again and you are
the test date just to see how she feels about it all.
I like the gals... but dislike with a passion the games some play
and will walk when that starts.
I can honestly say I've never put a man through one of these tests. I think you're possibly reading too much into average things people do in general. Way too much. Most people don't sit out and plot like that. I think those that do are on the verge of some major issues and I just don't think that many people are that messed up.
I can see people--men as well as women--doing an occasional test when something provokes them or raises suspicions. Other than that, nothing to this extent. Wow.
Remember, this is the internet. Deposit reason and sanity in the latrine before you enter and the norm of lunacy will be palatable.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,005,830 times
Reputation: 9418
Well....I think you give us way too much credit. We're actually thinking and plotting the first kiss....how long it will take to get there....what you're like...oh never mind. You're right. We ARE that intelligent...creative....organized....
Same here. Asking someone to watch your purse is a test? Women do this with other women. Just as long as she doesn't ask you to hold the purse and it's a cute little pink sparkly bag
My husband and I went to the movies today and I passed him my coat, 3-D glasses, and drink while I went to the ladies room. It was a diabolical plan.
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