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Some, but very few and certainly almost no truly decent guys.
So, what I'm getting from you is this - most women try to make their husbands absolutely miserable and the only men who are happily married are bad people? So I guess the only decent people in the world are single men? Is this all correct? I'm just trying to learn the facts as you see them.
So, what I'm getting from you is this - most women try to make their husbands absolutely miserable and the only men who are happily married are bad people? So I guess the only decent people in the world are single men? Is this all correct? I'm just trying to learn the facts as you see them.
Give it up my friend, some to these guys really cannot be saved
You've got to triage here and know when to just let one go.
Knowing whether you're going to sleep and enter into a relationship with somebody within the first 5 seconds of meeting them is, let's just say ... not deep. So what?
People have to be attracted to each other and there is more than just physical attributes that is read upon meeting in person. Maybe it's the pheromones or lack of. I've liked guys because of what I saw in their eyes (there was intelligent life there) or their demeanor, how they dressed, body language or aura. It isn't about being physically perfect or social standards of what is great looking. Not even height or hair color or eyes. It's a lot more complex than men can understand as you guys tend to see the red flags of 'big boobs', 'blonde hair' or whatever you like and don't see the acne or lousy personality. I see it with my guy friends when I try to set them up, they are so specific about what attracts them. I don't operate that way. But I do have to like what I see and want to get close to 'it'. Oh and good grooming and smelling nice really works well too!
Do things your way. But the OP should be looking at women who will more give men a chance and get to know them. If he were one of those 5 second men, then he wouldn't be on here complaining. Got it?
He wasn't 5 seconds, he was 'friends' with her for months. But yeah, I've always said go for those who like you equally and you do not have to compromise either. It's just that guys are very fixed in what they like and have a hard time to do what you say you are doing now. Obviously you're struggling with it according to your other thread. I never think about someone being in my league or out. I don't find it to be a big compromise if he isn't so hot according to my friends. It only matters that I am attracted to him.
Yea. You're probably right. But the OP is a man. Also, I think shallow and petty men are not so much on relationship forums as much as their female counterparts.
I know you're trying hard not to be shallow and turning over a new leaf by dating the 'other' girls that are in your league but it doesn't help to be bitter. Be careful cause it'll seep in like cheap cologne and women can smell it a mile away.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NotARedneck
Thanks. I'm blushing!
In case you lost your copy and for the newer guys:
There are three elements to “what women want”. These are desires, needs and expectations.
For most women, their desires are not that different from men’s, but subtlety different. There are three main things they desire but they are often unwilling to come out and clearly state the first two of them, because in context of the feminist movement, it puts them in a less than flattering light.
Like men, women value physical appearance. However they are willing to compromise somewhat for someone who excels in the other areas.
Women also want (at least the appearance of) financial success in a man, although this varies considerably by the class of woman you are dealing with and their perceived bargaining position. Women usually demand much more financially from a man than they offer in return, but they are often conned, too.
Wow. Can you feel the hate?
Unlike the above two, the third attribute is often stated and demanded quite emphatically – they want a man with “confidence”! However, this is not the dictionary definition. What they are describing a man who has enough experience and success with women that he exudes a cockiness that puts them on the defensive.
Makes me hot every time.
Upon experiencing this, they know that they have a man who has been vetted by other women and is in demand by them. This makes him very attractive and they don’t want to be embarrassed, by losing him too easily.
I thought we had a lot of men who throw themselves at us. How do we possibly have the time to think this deeply about just one man and how in demand he is?
Needs, another superficial attribute,...
HAHA, haven't heard this before! SO all you CD women haters club members read this? Is this a book club kind of deal? Who brings the cookies and coco?
are the next stage that must be addressed. A man who satisfies women’s wants will be on the fast track if he can follow through and meet her needs. At the most basic level, these are an extension of the three desires described above. Therefore, it helps a lot if he is good looking and also is willing to be associated with her in public,...
OMG, that's soo00 hot! He's willing to be seen with me in public!
has money and is willing to spend it lavishly on her and uses his confidence to build her up, while denigrating her rivals.
If a guy has confidence, he won't have to spend lavishly. SEE, you are picking gold diggers. How are you denigrating her rivals? Who are her rivals? You mean you aren't screwing her friends? Awww, how sweet!
However, many men have found that, if they meet women’s “wants”, they can string them along for a considerable time, without meeting their needs.
Oh, that's coming from a very loving place. Quite deep into your wittle black, pathetic hearts. Guess you wouldn't mind being treated the same.
Blah, blah gobleygook and we come to this little gem:
Finally, it’s an incredible fluke, when men who are good at meeting women’s desires and needs, can also then meet their expectations. And why should they?
Yes, darn it, why should we! I mean you. Those evil witches!
They’ve been bombarded by the affections of eligible women, from an early age until one actually convinces them to sign away their future through marriage. Being a lazy slob, a philanderer, unreliable, immature or a host of other complaints was not an issue of concern for women,
Uh, so it's not a concern for men to be this way, just women? Okaaaaay....
before marriage, because those women, who were attracted to them, were eager and willing to overlook their obvious flaws. Then, once they are married and expectations are unfulfilled, passionate sex is quickly withdrawn, as a behaviour modification technique. Of course, now it is the man’s expectations that are not being fulfilled!
WTF is wrong with women? You liked his lying, philandering, immature behind and now that you're married and have him hanging by a noose with his balls in your hand cause you'll take everything he's got if you divorce, you want him to change to suit your stupid responsible, mature needs!!! GAH!
There is an element of academic truth to that. Men's magazines certainly don't portray average women and neither do movies or TV. However, women are the gate keepers of relationships, so most of these guys quickly accommodate themselves to reality.
And the reality is: 70% of women think they have a chance with 10% of men and if that doesn't work, after often many years of trying, the next 10 to 20 % of men will be waiting there with bated breath for them to become available.
Maybe your "reality" - certainly not everyone's reality.
true, you could be sitting next to a porn star on the subway and not even know if she had her hair in a cap and was bundled up
God! - no wonder you can't get the girls...You must be young and grew up watching violent and perverse porn and think it is normal....no no no...get with it oh modern boy.....If you think that beauty has something to do with "porn star" - then no good woman wants to be with a monkey man....In my youth I went so far as seducing lesbians--- and lived with one for a while...You might as "how can that be?" - One thing I learned about intelligent and beautiful woman - who happen to be lesbians is that most do not hate men - They just dispise being mounted by some ape..try being an angel and actually love woman - You will fare better.
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