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I was raised in a traditional Southern family. I personally don't care for many of the "old-fashioned" manners because these men often expect a woman to fulfill the old Southern idealized subservient woman role. To me, these "chivalrous" expressions signal the presence of other expectations involving gender roles in relationships. That's been my experience, though. I know it doesn't hold true for everyone.
i'm not sure if i'd use the word "Subservient" - but yeah, that's generally the idea i'm trying to get across. (I was also raised in a traditional southern family.) If she expects chivalry, she'd better be down with keeping up her end of the bargain, with 19th century gender roles.
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Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
Chivalrous behavior is supposed to reveal a man's character.
LOL you've been horribly misinformed.
Men practice chivalry because it's strongly implied to them at a young age that they'll never get laid if they don't.
i'm not sure if i'd use the word "Subservient" - but yeah, that's generally the idea i'm trying to get across. (I was also raised in a traditional southern family.) If she expects chivalry, she'd better be down with keeping up her end of the bargain, with 19th century gender roles.
Check, and check
I will say that I like when a man opens the car door for me and gets the door for me...I can pull out my own chair though and I don't need him to stand whenever I stand to exit, but I admit I do take notice of those kinds of things.
I woudn't need flowers when he comes to pick me up for a date, but if he didn't walk me to the door we wouldn't be seeing eachother again.
The notion itself is too much because it's sexist. Treating someone a certain way just because of their sex is sexist. I'm not chilvalrous, I'm respectful and have manners, because I do courteous things to everyone.
I wouldn't want a man to act like a trained seal by opening doors and pushing chairs in...I think there are many other ways you can tell if a guy respects you, or women in general. Just the way he talks is enough for me to know. If a guy is carrying something or if I'm walking ahead of him, I'll open the door for him, I guess that's wrong by some women's standards....
or maybe sour grapes... have we been on a date? do i know you?
Haha, maybe...and I'm thinking of one awful date in particular. You don't happen to drive a VW, do you, lol?
Anyway, I was just saying that because if you make a bad first impression by treating someone poorly, they'd likely either not want to see you again or treat you badly in return.
Haha, maybe...and I'm thinking of one awful date in particular. You don't happen to drive a VW, do you, lol?
Hmm. Maybe, but no, no VW. Were you that alcoholic chick I unwittingly took out the other night, who got cut off by the bartender at both the first AND second place I took her?
I knew it was a bad sign when she squeezed her boobs together and said , "You like my juicies?"
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Anyway, I was just saying that because if you make a bad first impression by treating someone poorly, they'd likely either not want to see you again or treat you badly in return.
Sure, I agree. That's why it's important not to treat someone poorly until you recognize that they like it.
I was raised to be ultra-chivalrous. I learned to drop that act, over time, because it does not help you attract (or keep) women, regardless of what they might say.
The best advice I've ever gotten came from my brother: If a woman acts like a wh*re, treat her like one.
Most women don't act like wh*res, but then, they also don't act like "ladies" who are entitled to a "gentleman," either. So you should generally offer the sort of etiquitte to your date, that you think she deserves. (Now, Chivalry dicates you treat every woman like royalty, blah blah blah, but like I already said -- chivalry is from another era, and rarely does you any favors.)
That said, I enjoy playing the gentleman role, with a lady who also knows what's expected of her. I think that's an ideal relationship, but it's not how I treat the average woman.
I'm with you. I would rather make her laugh her ass off.. buy her a great dinner...and show her a great time instead of blowing smoke up her ass. No one likes a kissass! Well, maybe a drama queen does!
I always hold doors for women, it is just how I am. I don't think there's anything wrong with chivalry, and if a girl is turned off by me acting like that.. so be it. I don't do what I do to attract anyone.
One thing I do know though, is that every girl I've been with has commented on how I treat them and that it is very nice. You can say that it doesn't do anything, but the girls that I've been with have specifically said how much they enjoy it.
I'm used to men opening car doors, BUT you planned a very nice date, if you didn't open the car door I would let it slide.
We open them for free without asking if it's not demanded and expected. You can tell the difference.
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