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Really, Vis. This topic has been trotted out again and again and again. It sounds like you might be looking to place blame on the cheatee. Why? Did you cheat on your ex and that is why you're divorced? Having an affair with a married person? Because the kind of vitriol in your OP doesn't just come out of nowhere. Not when you've been on here for years and surely must know how often this has been hashed over.
There's plenty of excuses to cheat; thrills, excitement, trying something new or different. Cheating is fun! But leave all your guilt (and moral) complexes out of it.
You're seriously arguing that cheating is okay? What is wrong with you?
There is absolutely no reason to ever cheat on someone, ever. If you do, YOU are wrong. I don't care what twisted way you're seeing it. You are wrong.
If you don't care about anyone's feelings but your own, you shouldn't be in a relationship to begin with. All of the things listed in your first post are traits that one should know about their partner from the dating period. If you took it to a relationship after knowing these things, you're obviously okay with them and using them as excuses to cheat in the future is ridiculous.
Do you have no respect or the balls to actually talk to your partner about any issues before you go out into the world with your legs spread or wang out? (I don't know what sex you are)
Many complain about a cheating partner. And blame the other.
Maybe you're being cheated on is because you're a boring person, humorless, inactive, dull witted, controlling, demanding, or religious zealot.
Don't cast all blame on your partner. Try some self-examination. You just might discover a reason.
I knew you were a sociopath. Yes blame everyone else but yourself, you could've just as easily talked to your partner and let them know it's over like an adult but instead you decide to go behind their back like a child.
That's what separates the adults from children, children will always do what is easy, adults will do what is right even though it's difficult and this post reeks of someone who hasn't matured.
Most people, when making promises to be faithful, have every intention of keeping their word. I think that most infidelity occurs, not because it is planned, but because people find themselves in situations where their emotions overwhelm them, like: being around someone who is sexually interested, being a lot of time 1:1 with someone else, opportunity, alcohol.
Ideally people supposed to have a will power to control their emotions and their actions. However, many people just can't. Many people cannot control their will power at all ( think about those that struggle and fail on dieting or quitting smoking ).
And who's fault is it that they have no will power?
It doesn't matter. If you feel the need to cheat for whatever reason, then be a decent human being and have enough respect for the other person to break up with them first. It's not hard at that point.
Except that it IS hard when your finances, children, social life, families, etc, are all comingled together to form a life. A life you might very well like.
Cheating is NEVER ok.
But let's be real about how hard it can be to end a relationship just to have sex with someone else.
People make sex out to be so freakin' meaningful and like it represents everything about your life. Oh, dump everything else in your life because of your unhappy sex...gimme a break.
I guess some of this argument could be construed as true.
In my case I blamed myself because I was trying to provide the best I possibly could by working two full time jobs. Buying her expensive clothes, a brand new car, taking her out to extremely expensive places (Mind you, I would work 16 to 18 hours a day so it was not often).
At first I thought it was her fault and I blamed it on her until I saw it from a different perspective. I think I gave her too much and I never took my mother's advise: "Don't give your women all your love and don't give your women all your money"
Many complain about a cheating partner. And blame the other.
Maybe you're being cheated on is because you're a boring person, humorless, inactive, dull witted, controlling, demanding, or religious zealot.
Don't cast all blame on your partner. Try some self-examination. You just might discover a reason.
This is a great thread. A lot of people don't take this advice and continue to make the same mistakes in each relationship they pursue after the first break up. I think people should always take a step back and evaluate what went wrong and what they can change in themselves to prevent it from happening again.
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