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If a person is a perpetual cheater, why not just find someone who's a swinger or is okay with an occasional fling with someone else? I know most people lean toward monogamy, but there are those who don't. Cheating is messy and can be very hurtful for the other person in the relationship (not to mention children if they're married). Why not just find someone with a like-minded approach?
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,007,791 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by Visvaldis
Many complain about a cheating partner. And blame the other.
Maybe you're being cheated on is because you're a boring person, humorless, inactive, dull witted, controlling, demanding, or religious zealot.
Don't cast all blame on your partner. Try some self-examination. You just might discover a reason.
That's excusing the cheater by blaming the one being cheated on rather than making the cheater take responsibility for their own actions. If the cheater subjects themselves to a boring, humorless, inactive, dull-witted, controlling, demanding partner rather than removing themselves from it, they don't deserve any more than they're getting in the relationship.
I know there are extenuating circumstances, like when the cheater tried everything prior....talking to their s/o...warning them they think something like this could happen if things don't change...things like that. But that's when they should say they've tried their best and feel unheard or not taken seriously, now they're leaving. I know someone in this situation right now and that he won't leave it puts him right where he deserves to be.
Depends on the person, in my opinion. Part of it is a person's natural inclination toward one person and the other is society's expectation of monogamy.
None of the opinions here against cheating are sufficient. The name calling and labels are not explained. Probably because those who write them don't do much thinking about it.
Low self-esteem abounds in just about every thread on the relationship forum. Many insecure people.
If the people can't explain their contra to cheating, they are probably afraid to examine their behavior - which gets back to the OP.
Anyone have any philosophical views? More elaborate than 'cheating in wrong'?
And saying that people who don't agree with you are automatically insecure is somehow more reasonable and logical. Hey here's adult if the person getting cheated on is so dull, boring and passionless as you put it than why get in a relationship with them? Surely you must of spent some time with them before committing to being with them, what's the sense in that?
Whether monogamy is natural or not is irrelevant fact of the matter is that a lot of people believe in monogamous relationships, deal with it. If you don't believe in monogamy than find people who don't believe in it as well and stay away from people who do. Or is that too complicated for you to comprehend?
Humans are by nature not monogamous animals. We are controlled by societal pressures and mores. In the primate world from whence we evolved the only monogamous ape is the gibbon and even they cheat on one another.
Humans are by nature not monogamous animals. We are controlled by societal pressures and mores. In the primate world from whence we evolved the only monogamous ape is the gibbon and even they cheat on one another.
But at the same time a married couple can make the choice to be monogamous in their relationship. If both have the expectation of monogamy and one of them goes outside of that and sleeps with someone else, then that's a violation of their agreement and the cheater has broken that trust. That's why it's wrong.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,007,791 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna
No.
Humans are by nature not monogamous animals. We are controlled by societal pressures and mores. In the primate world from whence we evolved the only monogamous ape is the gibbon and even they cheat on one another.
One thing that separates us from animals is our brains--hopefully. And there is something within us that desires monogamy--even men. That's why they get just as jealous and insecure as some women do. In fact, statistically--don't ask me to produce because it's been forever since I read it--men's violence toward their women is more often than not due to jealousy, thinking she's not being faithful. So they desire it too.
But at the same time a married couple can make the choice to be monogamous in their relationship. If both have the expectation of monogamy and one of them goes outside of that and sleeps with someone else, then that's a violation of their agreement and the cheater has broken that trust. That's why it's wrong.
Exactly, if you don't do monogamy and is dating someone else that does don't lie to them and say you believe in it to then cheat on them later simply break it off and find someone else that doesn't believe in it. It's not that hard to understand.
None of the opinions here against cheating are sufficient. The name calling and labels are not explained. Probably because those who write them don't do much thinking about it.
Low self-esteem abounds in just about every thread on the relationship forum. Many insecure people.
If the people can't explain their contra to cheating, they are probably afraid to examine their behavior - which gets back to the OP.
Anyone have any philosophical views? More elaborate than 'cheating in wrong'?
I've got your philosophy RIGHT HERE...
First of all, you can take that high-handed 'you're all insecure losers because you disagree with my super-terrific cheating thread' baloney and take a short hike off a long cliff...unless 'Blankity-Blank', where you 'live' is the summer home of the Almighty, and He asked you to stand in for him while he rolls down to Cancun, you don't have the stones OR the authority to tell anybody else what and who they are...
Secondly, I don't give a rat's a** dipped in butter about how YOU think it's OK for people to cheat, the s**t is WRONG, and trust me, you won't be able to philosiphize your way out of an a**-whipping or a blast of double-ought buck from somebody's husband, should you choose to try and lay pipe with his wife...
You may want to try another line of work there, son, because being a jackleg chat-forum sex therapist and part-time playboy, ain't your perfect job description...is that philosophical enough for you?
Many complain about a cheating partner. And blame the other.
Maybe you're being cheated on is because you're a boring person, humorless, inactive, dull witted, controlling, demanding, or religious zealot.
Don't cast all blame on your partner. Try some self-examination. You just might discover a reason.
On a similar note. Are you being beaten by your spouse? Have you ever considered the possibility that it's all your fault? That if you weren't so boring, humorless, inactive, dull witted, controlling, demanding or a religious zealot he wouldn't have to beat you?
Cheaters are douches. Period.
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