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Unread 04-18-2012, 07:37 AM
 
Location: Land of Thought and Flow
7,689 posts, read 8,254,483 times
Reputation: 4388
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
What you are going off of are your own positive FWB situations and then trying to parlay that into every FWB situation being like this, when that's not the case. I have seen it end badly between female and male FRIENDS. And that is what I am going off of. Lets say they didn't end badly, I still wouldn't want to be in a FWB situation. That's just me. I am not talking about casual sex. I am talking about 'friends' that sleep together. I am talking about women who are friends with a man and then sleep with him, continuing to beleive he values her the same way he would a girlfriend or a friend he hasn't slept with. LMAO.
First you claim (quoting you again) "FWB situation entails sex when you meet up and he owes you nothing outside of the bedroom, let alone a friendship", then try to backup and say "oh, well, I've seen it with friends and that's what I'm going off of".

Nice try, but no.

You were talking about casual sex with strangers and now the story is changing now that you've been called out.

And with every FWB situation I've been in and I've known of - if the guy is a friend, then he'll value her friendship with or without the sex. That's the great part about being a real friend. Hard concept to understand for jaded people who have no real friends, but when you're a decent person, having true friends that you can trust is awesome.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
"Spreading misinformation and lies??" LOL. I didn't realize I was the authority on such matters for other people. Everyone is free to draw their own conclusions as to whether they would want anything to do with FWB situation. if you're trying to convince me of some validity of FWB, then you're wasting your time. If it's worked out for you -- then so be it. Nine times out of ten I have seen it all get shot to hell and apparently based on some of these responses, I am not the only one either.
Absolute you're no authority on the matter. As seen by statements like "FWB situation entails sex when you meet up and he owes you nothing outside of the bedroom, let alone a friendship". That's misinformation and a blatant lie.

Yet you kept repeating it and similar commentary.

Then, of course, is the misinformation and "untruth" that FWB only benefits males. Especially when there's several females who've stated otherwise based upon their experiences.

I'm not trying to convince you of any validity. I'm just saying that the baseless lying is silly.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
Here this: I am in no way, shape or form 'jealous' of a woman who is having sex with a man that doesn't even think enough of her to make her his girlfriend or wife. If those are my options, I will stay single & free as a bird. Period.
And there it is again about being jaded towards guys - as if the female can't consciously decide "this guy isn't actual relationship material, but he is a good friend", while the guy pawns for something more.

FWB is a two-way street.

Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
Maybe the woman doesn't want to be a girlfriend or wife. I've known FWB situations where the GUY wanted a relationship and the woman didn't.
I've seen it happen.

Just as I've seen FWB situations turn into actual exclusive dating.

Just as I've seen FWB situations where neither party wanted anything exclusive.

Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
I'm a girl and say the same...in fact I know quite a few that would say the same. This isn't a gender-specific scenario.
I'd imagine that the concept is hard to understand for someone who is completely jaded against the male gender.
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Unread 04-18-2012, 04:50 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,315 posts, read 3,788,656 times
Reputation: 6826
Quote:
Originally Posted by gallowsCalibrator View Post
First you claim (quoting you again) "FWB situation entails sex when you meet up and he owes you nothing outside of the bedroom, let alone a friendship", then try to backup and say "oh, well, I've seen it with friends and that's what I'm going off of".

Nice try, but no.

You were talking about casual sex with strangers and now the story is changing now that you've been called out.

And with every FWB situation I've been in and I've known of - if the guy is a friend, then he'll value her friendship with or without the sex. That's the great part about being a real friend. Hard concept to understand for jaded people who have no real friends, but when you're a decent person, having true friends that you can trust is awesome.



Absolute you're no authority on the matter. As seen by statements like "FWB situation entails sex when you meet up and he owes you nothing outside of the bedroom, let alone a friendship". That's misinformation and a blatant lie.

Yet you kept repeating it and similar commentary.

Then, of course, is the misinformation and "untruth" that FWB only benefits males. Especially when there's several females who've stated otherwise based upon their experiences.

I'm not trying to convince you of any validity. I'm just saying that the baseless lying is silly.




And there it is again about being jaded towards guys - as if the female can't consciously decide "this guy isn't actual relationship material, but he is a good friend", while the guy pawns for something more.

FWB is a two-way street.



I've seen it happen.

Just as I've seen FWB situations turn into actual exclusive dating.

Just as I've seen FWB situations where neither party wanted anything exclusive.



I'd imagine that the concept is hard to understand for someone who is completely jaded against the male gender.

Please get over yourself -- there is no changing stories, it is what it is. And no one is an 'authority' on this matter, not you or anyone else, LOL. Just because you have experienced this situation and it turned out smelling like roses -- so what?? That's you......It would be "baseless lying" if what I said was not truth. I guess it has never occurred to you that I have seen a number of scenarios (FWB, casual sex turned into FWB, etc.) So what I am saying is truth, as I have seen it played out. The other half of what I said was part opinion and part what I have seen in my female friends' situations with these guys: that men who do FWB do not respect these women as anything more then 'fu*k buddies.' Period. Personally, I would never put myself in a FWB situation, if other women choose to do so, they are adults and can do as they please... Again, if you have experienced different then you have every right to say you think these situations work out -- that's your buisness & it's no skin off of my nose.

I couldn't care less how many times you repeat "you are jaded towards guys," honestly I don't care if you like my views on men or you don't.

In a way, it's coming across that you think by me saying these things it's going to somehow change other grown women's opinions on this matter and I have news for you: they can make up their own minds where FWB, casual sex and anything else is concerned. My opinions and observations do not wield any kind of special power, luckily for you.....

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Unread 04-18-2012, 04:57 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,315 posts, read 3,788,656 times
Reputation: 6826
Quote:
Originally Posted by twinArmageddons View Post
And who's to say that the man DOESN'T value the woman the same way he would a girlfriend or a friend he hasn't slept with?

The part I think many people who think lowly of FWB situations is this:

Many people can disconnect sex from relations. Physical fun, without interfering with anything else in the relationship. Be it actual relationship, friends with benefits, "f" buddies, or just simple causal encounters.

Sex is sex. If you look at it like that, and don't put anything else to it, then FWB situations work out just fine.
Yea, sounds nice doesn't it? But too bad that's going to be a problem in my eyes -- But knock yourself out.
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Unread 04-18-2012, 07:35 PM
 
Location: San Gabriel Valley, CA
11,639 posts, read 11,249,191 times
Reputation: 7757
I am a woman. I can definitely see where an association like this could be great for a woman, depending upon her circumstances.

If I were to get divorced (contemplating it), I really, really doubt I'd have the emotional energy to put into a "real" man/woman relationship, for years if ever -- but I have a feeling that over time, I'd start to want a physical closeness and connection. I can absolutely see a FWB situation given that. In fact, it would be a huge relief.

That's not to say that's what I've always wanted or anything. I'm saying given those particular circumstances, an association where I get to make out and have a pleasant time but never have to wash the person's socks or put up with "moods" for days on end sounds wooooooooooonderful. Giddy foreplay, sex, good-bye, I have work in the morning; not said coldly but with mutual understanding. Sounds really really nice.

Again, I wouldn't have even thought of such a thing at different times in my life. When I was younger I certainly wouldn't have. I had this drive to be "connected" in a very permanent way. People do change over time.
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Unread 04-18-2012, 07:49 PM
Status: ":)" (set 27 days ago)
 
4,151 posts, read 2,613,933 times
Reputation: 1491
Best thing to have a a 3some FB! - You build chemistry as you get more experience.
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Unread 04-18-2012, 07:52 PM
 
Location: San Gabriel Valley, CA
11,639 posts, read 11,249,191 times
Reputation: 7757
Quote:
Originally Posted by Info Guy View Post
Best thing to have a a 3some FB! - You build chemistry as you get more experience.
I have had this, just once. Did nothing for me. I don't think this is in any way an essential part of the FWB or FB equation...if you like it, though, be safe and do it.

I don't have anything against three-ways specifically, I don't think they're terrible, they just feel confusing and I don't feel any need for one more person in the bed. Just my POV.

If it takes something extreme (v. the norm, I mean) to build my chemistry with my target FWB, then that's not the FWB for me. At all. If I "need" something "extra" to get myself going with someone, I'm not going to bother. But I'm lazy. And about this one thing I would definitely be selfish (and would expect the other person to be, too).

Desiring a no-strings-attached sex association doesn't necessarily mean one is an all-out sex crazed adventurer, nor does it mean a person doesn't have standards. I would DEFINITELY have my standards if I were to start up a FWB situation.
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Unread 04-18-2012, 07:55 PM
Status: ":)" (set 27 days ago)
 
4,151 posts, read 2,613,933 times
Reputation: 1491
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
I have had this, just once. Did nothing for me. I don't think this is in any way an essential part of the FWB or FB equation...if you like it, though, be safe and do it.

I don't have anything against three-ways specifically, I don't think they're terrible, they just feel confusing and I don't feel any need for one more person in the bed. Just my POV.

If it takes something extreme (v. the norm, I mean) to build my chemistry with my target FWB, then that's not the FWB for me. At all. If I "need" something "extra" to get myself going with someone, I'm not going to bother. But I'm lazy. And about this one thing I would definitely be selfish (and would expect the other person to be, too).

Desiring a no-strings-attached sex association doesn't necessarily mean one is an all-out sex crazed adventurer, nor does it mean a person doesn't have standards. I would DEFINITELY have my standards if I were to start up a FWB situation.
FMF or MFM?
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Unread 04-18-2012, 08:00 PM
 
Location: San Gabriel Valley, CA
11,639 posts, read 11,249,191 times
Reputation: 7757
Quote:
Originally Posted by Info Guy View Post
FMF or MFM?
Two men and me. Again, nothing moral against it (obviously). I was very, very curious and it was a long time ago. Didn't do anything for me so I can't see doing it again for any reason, but if it works for other people and everyone is consenting, those people should be safe and go for it.

If I were to have a FWB today...or I guess more like a FB is how I'm describing it, aren't I? -- that guy would have to absolutely, positively knock my socks off physically and sexually, since the sex would be the whole point. I would never even think of doing this with someone I'd need somebody else's involvement entirely with to get turned on by (hope that sentence made sense).

I would only do it if it were going to be totally exhilarating, sexy and fun, and safe, for both of us. I would want him to have the same standards I had.

If no such situation presented itself, I'd masturbate, obviously. At this point in my life, I for sure wouldn't just sleep with someone to have "some kind of sex" or "some sort of attachment". Not worth it, why bother?

Hope this isn't TMI. It's just my input and obviously it's all a theory, I haven't put it to the test and may never do so. Just my $.02.
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Unread 04-18-2012, 08:05 PM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
10,806 posts, read 5,069,092 times
Reputation: 7908
The only problem I have with this is when one person doesn't tell the other person upfront in a clear manner that they want this.
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Unread 04-18-2012, 08:59 PM
Status: ":)" (set 27 days ago)
 
4,151 posts, read 2,613,933 times
Reputation: 1491
I think most females prefer MFM?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Two men and me. Again, nothing moral against it (obviously). I was very, very curious and it was a long time ago. Didn't do anything for me so I can't see doing it again for any reason, but if it works for other people and everyone is consenting, those people should be safe and go for it.

If I were to have a FWB today...or I guess more like a FB is how I'm describing it, aren't I? -- that guy would have to absolutely, positively knock my socks off physically and sexually, since the sex would be the whole point. I would never even think of doing this with someone I'd need somebody else's involvement entirely with to get turned on by (hope that sentence made sense).

I would only do it if it were going to be totally exhilarating, sexy and fun, and safe, for both of us. I would want him to have the same standards I had.

If no such situation presented itself, I'd masturbate, obviously. At this point in my life, I for sure wouldn't just sleep with someone to have "some kind of sex" or "some sort of attachment". Not worth it, why bother?

Hope this isn't TMI. It's just my input and obviously it's all a theory, I haven't put it to the test and may never do so. Just my $.02.
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