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My ideal girlfriend is someone who has a healthy weight.
Then she's not your ideal. Dump her before you cause any lasting emotional or psychological damage trying to force-change her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VTHokieFan
So you're damn right I'm going to change her.
Which you really have no right to do nor leg to stand on. It's one thing to help somebody towards bettering themselves. It's another to be a right child about it screaming out "SHE'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME SO I'M GOING TO FIX IT".
Quote:
Originally Posted by VTHokieFan
She has an inherent medical problem.
Oh, so she's got a medical problem that causes her to be overweight? Or are you saying that her "medically overweight" status is the inherent medical problem?
Either way, I think your girlfriend deserves somebody better - who would use positive attitude and respect to get her jump started on becoming more healthy for her benefit. Not somebody who is determined to "change her" to fit his ideals.
Read the Mars and Venus series by John Gray. Follow the books to a "T", and she will WANT to lose weight without you saying a darn word about it because you will be 1000% attentive to her emotionally and she will FEEL loved and appreciated for who she is.. she, in turn, will want to look and feel good for YOU, so you have a win-win situation.
That's just my take on it. (and how I would react to a guy doting on me 1000%).
Then she's not your ideal. Dump her before you cause any lasting emotional or psychological damage trying to force-change her.
Which you really have no right to do nor leg to stand on. It's one thing to help somebody towards bettering themselves. It's another to be a right child about it screaming out "SHE'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME SO I'M GOING TO FIX IT".
Oh, so she's got a medical problem that causes her to be overweight? Or are you saying that her "medically overweight" status is the inherent medical problem?
Either way, I think your girlfriend deserves somebody better - who would use positive attitude and respect to get her jump started on becoming more healthy for her benefit. Not somebody who is determined to "change her" to fit his ideals.
I'm "medically overweight" although with clothes on I look "normal" or "thin" depending on my overall appearance that day. I am trying to lose about 25 lbs or so because I want to, even though my husband still thinks I'm irresistible.
Is she actually healthy? Is she active? Do tyou have any idea how her cholesterol, BP, etc is?
My doctor has said although I'm a little overweight, she isn't worried because all my numbers are good or better than average.
Everyone carries their weight differently, and I can't help but wonder if you're using her "health" to justify your shallow behavior.
So I was wondering what's the best way to approach this issue.
honestly, you don't, you just get a new girlfriend.
that's why it is such a high priority when you're dating, because if she's overweight it's not something that you can EVER bring up.
chances are, as long as she has a boyfriend (you), she's not going to slim down. The only thing you can do that will get her to slim down, is to break up with her. Then there's the off chance that she'll go on a weight loss binge to try and make you jealous.. ha. So, like I say, a no-win situation for you.
Yes she was. So clearly there's something else I like about her that keeps me around.
Okay so you want her to be healthy, leave the overweight conversation to her doctor. If you try to address it yourself it's going to cause a problem since you fell for her initially regardless of the extra weight. She will be confused and hurt about what has changed.
You can just start motivating her to eat healthy (which means you have to also) and exercise with you. Start by not giving her the option. If she wants to go out to dinner make sure it's somewhere healthy. If she wants to hang out make sure there is some sort of activity involved not just watching TV together.
I'm "medically overweight" although with clothes on I look "normal" or "thin" depending on my overall appearance that day. I am trying to lose about 25 lbs or so because I want to, even though my husband still thinks I'm irresistible.
Is she actually healthy? Is she active? Do tyou have any idea how her cholesterol, BP, etc is?
My doctor has said although I'm a little overweight, she isn't worried because all my numbers are good or better than average.
Everyone carries their weight differently, and I can't help but wonder if you're using her "health" to justify your shallow behavior.
Does she "look" fat to you?
She is not healthy. She is not active. She constantly complains about how inactive she is. She said she's upset because she finds herself short of breath a lot. She really hates men who smoke and said she would judge me for smoking, and that it was a deal breaker to her. I'm going to pick up smoking again as she should accept me for who I am, not because I smoke. I believe it's an even trade: I get to smoke cigarettes and she gets to be overweight. What do you guys think?
She is not healthy. She is not active. She constantly complains about how inactive she is. She said she's upset because she finds herself short of breath a lot.
You never said how overweight she was. Height/Weight?
Quote:
Originally Posted by VTHokieFan
She really hates men who smoke and said she would judge me for smoking, and that it was a deal breaker to her. I'm going to pick up smoking again as she should accept me for who I am, not because I smoke. I believe it's an even trade: I get to smoke cigarettes and she gets to be overweight. What do you guys think?
So basically... you're going to take on a hobby she hates as payback and/or revenge for her not being to your standards?
Here's what I think: Dump her before you cause lasting emotional or psychological damage. She deserves much better.
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