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Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,068,476 times
Reputation: 11862
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Quote:
Originally Posted by irwin2012
I would NEVER bring a woman flowers on the first date. It's kinda creepy, and besides I have not developed feelings for her to warrant giving a romantic gift that early on.
I can't blame women for wanting romance, passion, a knight in shining armor...the fairy tale. Reality will dictate otherwise, since relationships are not always going to have those qualities. I'd much rather be myself, genuine....than try to put on a fake show to "win" the girl, only to have all that disolve after the chase is over.
I always aspired to be the Marlon Brando, James Dean types...less the desperate sycophants who worship the ground a woman whom they've just met walks on. Someone who acts like he just doesn't really care, but is really a sensitive soul.
Unfortunately I come across as a blathering, people-pleaser, especially when it comes to women. Women have often called me 'nice guys' but I don't think many have even got to know me enough for feelings to develop. Maybe I'm not the type that inflames them with a fiery passion, but someone whom they'd like if they knew me for awhile?
One step might be to stop thinking of women as a species with set rules you just need to learn off and apply in order to get any of them. They are people too - individual - and what one "looks for" in no way will tell you what the next one "looks for" - or the one after that or after that or after that.
Be true to yourself, develop yourself to the best of your own ability - try and better yourself every day in some way and seek out new ways and means to better yourself. Seek out the social aspects of any interest or hobby you have and immerse yourself in those too.
You will find that on that journey the whole finding a woman/man/partner thing will just kinda sort itself out without you even realising it.
What one woman looks for may be different than another. But I'm not just looking for any woman out there. And I've been working on bettering myself and gaining confidence within myself by slowly but gradually changing things that I've used to have a habit of. Given my situation, I'm still trying to learn more about what would be the right woman for me by looking at what I'm comfortable with. Sometimes but very rarely, I may try to initiate communication with a woman though I'm usually more inclined to getting to a certain location on time and not being late. I know though it's going to be awhile until I can actually go out and do more things that I enjoy in which it costs money because I'll have a job and would be attending my college classes as well, both of which I put first.
Last edited by michael212; 05-11-2012 at 06:25 AM..
It's the expectation of monogamy plus finding the 'perfect one' which disappoints so many people.
You're right OP, true love has never changed. I don't necessarily think it's getting rarer, either. Sure in the 40s more people married but just like today a lot of these relationships weren't based on true love.
People have to be open to being loving before they can truly love. If you're full of hate and closed off, you won't magically begin to love when you find Mr or Miss Right.
I'm not hating. I'm still trying to figure out more about myself anyway so I know the type the woman I want. I have an idea yet I still need to evaluate myself up until the time I'm ready.
One step might be to stop thinking of women as a species with set rules you just need to learn off and apply in order to get any of them. They are people too - individual - and what one "looks for" in no way will tell you what the next one "looks for" - or the one after that or after that or after that.
THANK YOU! What is wrong with the kids today and their need to apply formulas to everything because they do not feel comfortable with human nuance and complexity? Do they ALL have Asperger's?
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,068,476 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by michael212
I'm not hating. I'm still trying to figure out more about myself anyway so I know the type the woman I want. I have an idea yet I still need to evaluate myself up until the time I'm ready.
Sorry was just speaking in general.
Yes, one should know thyself before they start thinking too much about what they're looking for.
Half of us, me included, aren't even sure what we REALLY want. We think we want what we do, but when we really get it, we start to question ourselves.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,068,476 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
THANK YOU! What is wrong with the kids today and their need to apply formulas to everything because they do not feel comfortable with human nuance and complexity? Do they ALL have Asperger's?
I guess people with no experience have nothing to base it upon. They don't know individuals, only stereotypes, what they read on the internet, what people tell me. Me included. Once they meet real people, if they're intelligent, hopefully they will meet people as individuals and not as one monolithic bloc who are all the same.
I'm not hating. I'm still trying to figure out more about myself anyway so I know the type the woman I want. I have an idea yet I still need to evaluate myself up until the time I'm ready.
THANK YOU! What is wrong with the kids today and their need to apply formulas to everything because they do not feel comfortable with human nuance and complexity? Do they ALL have Asperger's?
Not everything goes as we expect it. And I may actually put down the computer more often once I start working again.
Last edited by michael212; 05-11-2012 at 02:11 PM..
I guess people with no experience have nothing to base it upon. They don't know individuals, only stereotypes, what they read on the internet, what people tell me. Me included. Once they meet real people, if they're intelligent, hopefully they will meet people as individuals and not as one monolithic bloc who are all the same.
That's why I sometimes don't like the music they play today. The computer voice and the lip-synching gets annoying. Great point.
During the dating sequence, expect the worst....so you won't be disappointed.
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