Ladies, how long would you stay in a relationship without a ring? (couple, straight)
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I get that, but my views are still relevant for a woman in her 20's who never married. It's still stupid for her to let a man just play with her and use her, and when he's done, other men are looking at her like damaged goods because she lived with him.
It is true he can leave anytime regardless of the papers, That's true.
But it's much harder when your married, it's a process. I've seen the process of divorce go on for years, when were just BF/GF, the minute we break up its over just like that.
A lot of marriages are still going today because people honestly don't want to go through the process,money, and the time of divorce, or just "hanging in their for the kids".
There are young girls right now that are "shacking up" at their boyfriends apartment and don't even have their names on the lease, it's not their legal place of residence.
One fight and he kicks you out, that's not rare for this scenario to happen
Obviously that's just an example, but Women want the security and the commitment. I know it's a paper but to millions of women that paper is improtant
It is true he can leave anytime regardless of the papers, That's true.
But it's much harder when your married, it's a process. I've seen the process of divorce go on for years, when were just BF/GF, the minute we break up its over just like that.
A lot of marriages are still going today because people honestly don't want to go through the process,money, and the time of divorce, or just "hanging in their for the kids".
There are young girls right now that are "shacking up" at their boyfriends apartment and don't even have their names on the lease, it's not their legal place of residence.
One fight and he kicks you out, that's not rare for this scenario to happen
Obviously that's just an example, but Women want the security and the commitment. I know it's a paper but to millions of women that paper is improtant
And likewise there are men living with women right now who would never dream of marrying them, because: why? They believe the woman's willingness to live with them indicated a lack of morality or virtue.
Your assumption makes no sense. Why would a man want to be in a relationship, sharing his life 24/7, through good and bad times, with a woman he belived lacked "morality or virtue."
That man would have to be seriously emotionally disturbed.
Alright, then. I will say that for every one who will come on here and say cohabitation is wonderful, I bet there would be one who would say it messed them up somehow and usually years down the road when their options for getting another mate had dwindled to almost nothing.
My husband and I lived together for about 2 years or so before we got married. Our entire relationship has been wonderful - living together included. Most of my friends lived with their husbands before they got married. A couple of them lived with other people before that and it didn't work out - but it didn't mess them up anymore than being in a relationship that didn't work out. I mean - they are all happily married to other people that they also lived with before they got married - so obviously things worked out fine in the end. I actually don't know anyone personally that lived with someone and feels like it messed up their options for getting another mate.
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Originally Posted by laorbust61
And likewise there are men living with women right now who would never dream of marrying them, because: why? They believe the woman's willingness to live with them indicated a lack of morality or virtue.
Wait - what??? Maybe you live in the bible belt or something. I can assure you that this is not the case in most areas. People live together for many reasons - a perceived lack of morality or virtue in the woman is typically not one of them. Why on earth would someone share their home with someone they thought so lowly of? Good grief! Why would someone share their life with someone they had no respect for?
I'm seeing a lot of posts from women who have already been married before. What about women in their 20's who have never been married. Would they still be willing to play house?
My friends and I often joke about Hmong relationships. When you are in a relationship with a Hmong person, you won't get marry until 5+ years later (unless you are well stable). With bride price and education, you won't get marry within 2 years of your relationship unless you got pregnant. A lot of my non-Asian friends are married within that 2 years relationship while a lot of my Hmong friends are still dating and it has been at least 4-5 years. Sometimes I wonder if the longer the relationship the stronger the marriage or maybe if it's just the person that you are and you're with.
I don't do "play house". I don't know and don't want to set a "number" that would fail to meet my "expectations". Right now all I know is I'm not in a rush to get marry. My younger sister did tell me that she thinks I won't get marry until I'm 30, haha.
I don't do "play house". I don't know and don't want to set a "number" that would fail to meet my "expectations". Right now all I know is I'm not in a rush to get marry. My younger sister did tell me that she thinks I won't get marry until I'm 30, haha.
Dont let people rush you! 30 sounds like a good number
Your assumption makes no sense. Why would a man want to be in a relationship, sharing his life 24/7, through good and bad times, with a woman he belived lacked "morality or virtue."
That man would have to be seriously emotionally disturbed.
Because a man who is getting his basic needs met (wife-style companionship, sexual service, houskeeping, etc) is able to compartmentalize his emotions. I have heard guys say, they have the ability to pursue, capture and have sex with women they don't like. Same principle, basically. If he's getting what he wants he can keep his true feelings about her to himself for a long time. Sooner or later though, if they are strong, cohabitation be damned, he'll be on the hunt for a little fun with a woman he is NOT living with before long. Well, I guess that kind of throws out the theory that a cohabitating man is morally superior or more "authentic" or less hypocritical than a commited married man, huh.
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