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I really don't know what behavior I'm doing. "they" say men can detect desparation and whatever, but when I do go places, I don't feel I am sending any messages at all. I am not desparate. If I talk to a guy, it's just casual banter. How can that send any messages? I think I carry myself well, I just live life, I don't send any messages that I'm aware of. I wish someone could tell me!
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Originally Posted by Ascension2012
Im going to be direct, it has nothing to do with where you live, but everything to do with you or your behavior. Fix that, or you will end up moving and finding yourself in exact same predicament. There are men looking for what you wnat, anywhere on this globe.
I've heard good things about Denver, too. How long have you been trying? These things take time. Patience and persistence are essential. Do you have friends in the area who might keep an eye out for a good set-up for you, or who could invite you to parties along with eligible guys? Some people swear by the meeting-through-friends method.
Casual banter is good. I do that too. I wish more guys did that. If you love life, that energy will communicate itself. Sounds good to me. Just keep at it.
I wish someone could tell me what kind of vibes I'm putting out, because I don't think I am. I have met the wrong ones, for sure, but that seems like all I meet-the wrong ones! all the time. But when I met my ex-finace, I was the same person, I went about my life just as I do now.
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Originally Posted by nj21
I don't know if its such a good idea to move for a relationship. What if you encounter the same thing when you relocate?
I would just stay put and have a little patience.
No offense, but maybe you are putting out the wrong vibe? I strongly DO NOT believe that there are ONLY non-dateable men in the entire area you live in (Denver). It seems you are just meeting the wrong ones.
I really don't know what behavior I'm doing. "they" say men can detect desparation and whatever, but when I do go places, I don't feel I am sending any messages at all. I am not desparate. If I talk to a guy, it's just casual banter. How can that send any messages? I think I carry myself well, I just live life, I don't send any messages that I'm aware of. I wish someone could tell me!
doesn't matter where you move. mostly men today are looking for fool around situations/FWB or anything that doesn't force them to commit to one person. they will just move on to the ones that don't want a serious thing.
Yes, I've tried asking friends if they know someone, but they don't come up with anything. I don't even really have a close network of friends here, mostly work acquaintences. So maybe they don't know me well enough I guess.
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Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
I've heard good things about Denver, too. How long have you been trying? These things take time. Patience and persistence are essential. Do you have friends in the area who might keep an eye out for a good set-up for you, or who could invite you to parties along with eligible guys? Some people swear by the meeting-through-friends method.
I really don't know what behavior I'm doing. "they" say men can detect desparation and whatever, but when I do go places, I don't feel I am sending any messages at all. I am not desparate. If I talk to a guy, it's just casual banter. How can that send any messages? I think I carry myself well, I just live life, I don't send any messages that I'm aware of. I wish someone could tell me!
If you have any male friends, they would be a great person to ask, they could possibly give you a hint or two. it could be soemthing like body language or topics of conversation or something very small and easily fixable. These things are sometimes almost impossible to spot on your own but a bystander could easily pick up on it. Ive asked women who rejected me before, and more often than not they were willing to talk about it no problem. Are you attractive?
very true. I don't there are any decent ones out there anymore.
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Originally Posted by Doll Eyes
doesn't matter where you move. mostly men today are looking for fool around situations/FWB or anything that doesn't force them to commit to one person. they will just move on to the ones that don't want a serious thing.
I wish someone could tell me what kind of vibes I'm putting out, because I don't think I am. I have met the wrong ones, for sure, but that seems like all I meet-the wrong ones! all the time. But when I met my ex-finace, I was the same person, I went about my life just as I do now.
Now there's a thought: what if you had a friend observe you on a date? Kind of like a hidden camera/eavesdrop sort of thing? Or what about a setup with a FOAF so that you can have a brutally honest post-mortem afterwards? You may be doing something that is getting received differently from you you're sending out, and you wouldn't know because the guys aren't giving you any feedback.
If you have any male friends, they would be a great person to ask, they could possibly give you a hint or two. it could be soemthing like body language or topics of conversation or something very small and easily fixable. These things are sometimes almost impossible to spot on your own but a bystander could easily pick up on it. Ive asked women who rejected me before, and more often than not they were willing to talk about it no problem. Are you attractive?
what if she's not? then what? I guess she's sh*t out of luck then.
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