Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Thats a good point, but we are only talking about the initial apoproach. Since the guy who approaches you, doesnt know you as a person or anything about you for that matter, he only truly knows that he finds you physicaly attractive. If that is the case, wouldnt you want him to be honest about it, without being too agressive or pushy? I think compliments should be rare, personalized and sincere. ALmost every human being appreciates this type of compliment as long as its done tastefuly and in a friendly manner.
Being physically attractive is not the end all be all of compliments. I've never liked being complimented on the way I look because it never seems sincere, and nearly always seems creepy. It's like he's saying 'hey, I've been staring at you and I think you're hot' and perhaps to a woman who values her appearance over all else that will be a compliment. To me, it's just weird and uncomfortable.
Now, if a guy comes up to me and comments on a book I'm reading or an object I'm looking at (in a store, perhaps) that would be a much better 'ice breaker' than telling me I'm attractive.
Some women absolutely want to be complimented on their appearance... but not all.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,098,022 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Why a sly smile? That's when the creep factor begins to surface. Why not a genuine, sweet smile? You actually block their path? Creep factor, again. That's a threatening move. Women I know take evasive action when a guy blocks their path. If you say 99% of the women on the globe respond to this, why are the women here responding differently? Oh, right, I remember, we don't count. And why should Tri be ashamed, just because he chooses a different opener than you? At least he's approaching women and talking to them, which is more than a lot of guys can manage.
The 'you know you want me...I won't take no for an answer' approach seems to work in those old Hollywood movies, that's where some of these guys are getting their cues from?
Thats a good point, but we are only talking about the initial apoproach. Since the guy who approaches you, doesnt know you as a person or anything about you for that matter, he only truly knows that he finds you physicaly attractive. If that is the case, wouldnt you want him to be honest about it, without being too agressive or pushy? I think compliments should be rare, personalized and sincere. ALmost every human being appreciates this type of compliment as long as its done tastefuly and in a friendly manner.
That is ALSO a good point. But, I'm putting myself in a guy's shoes for a moment, or at least trying to. If I ever had the desire to go up and start talking to a guy I didn't know that I found attractive, never in a million years would I go up and say, "Hi, I find you very attractive." Think about it...the attraction is OBVIOUS, or else I wouldn't go up to him in the first place. So, it doesn't need to be said. For me, if a guy can't find anything else to say to me besides the fact that he thinks I'm attractive, he's not trying very hard. lol There's always going to be something else that could be said, depending on the circumstances (i.e. where we are at, what we are doing, etc).
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,098,022 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey
Being physically attractive is not the end all be all of compliments. I've never liked being complimented on the way I look because it never seems sincere, and nearly always seems creepy. It's like he's saying 'hey, I've been staring at you and I think you're hot' and perhaps to a woman who values her appearance over all else that will be a compliment. To me, it's just weird and uncomfortable.
Now, if a guy comes up to me and comments on a book I'm reading or an object I'm looking at (in a store, perhaps) that would be a much better 'ice breaker' than telling me I'm attractive.
Some women absolutely want to be complimented on their appearance... but not all.
I'd feel the same if I was a woman, I think, but then again some women can't get enough of it.
Some women are also shy about receiving physical comments, but a part of them really does like it.
Personally I'm with you, I'd rather things happen a bit more slowly.
Actually I do draw, and in fact I draw more than I take pictures. But I usually draw at home.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20
He shouldn't let people's paranoid suspicions stop him from enjoying photography.
Oh I don't. And in my current town those nasty looks are a lot more rare. Where I used to live you couldn't even carry a camera in public without getting the "glare of death". People hate having their pictures taken, and I guess they assume that for some reason you'll take a picture of them. Come to think of it, maybe I need to use my camera when someone asks me for money or tries to sell me something.
Being physically attractive is not the end all be all of compliments. I've never liked being complimented on the way I look because it never seems sincere, and nearly always seems creepy. It's like he's saying 'hey, I've been staring at you and I think you're hot' and perhaps to a woman who values her appearance over all else that will be a compliment. To me, it's just weird and uncomfortable.
Now, if a guy comes up to me and comments on a book I'm reading or an object I'm looking at (in a store, perhaps) that would be a much better 'ice breaker' than telling me I'm attractive.
Some women absolutely want to be complimented on their appearance... but not all.
I partialy agree with you, but only in one rare instance. If the guy has a genuine interest in the book youre reading, there is nothing wrong with approaching and asking about it. But in the context of this conversation or CDR talk in general, guys are mostly looking for artificial reason to approach, which is much different, manipulative and unnecessary. If women didnt care about men noticing their appearance, they wouldn't spend so many hours in front of a mirror getting ready or glance at their own reflection while walking by a store window. Yes there are some women that dont do that, and it takes them 5 m onutes and theyre out the door but it applies to vast majority of women who want to appeal to men in a physcial and sexual sense.
Being physically attractive is not the end all be all of compliments. I've never liked being complimented on the way I look because it never seems sincere, and nearly always seems creepy. It's like he's saying 'hey, I've been staring at you and I think you're hot' and perhaps to a woman who values her appearance over all else that will be a compliment. To me, it's just weird and uncomfortable.
Now, if a guy comes up to me and comments on a book I'm reading or an object I'm looking at (in a store, perhaps) that would be a much better 'ice breaker' than telling me I'm attractive.
Some women absolutely want to be complimented on their appearance... but not all.
Why should women bother to post here at all if the guys aren't going to believe them? Why have women on the forum at all, just make it an all-male forum, since you guys are convinced you know us better than we know ourselves, and you discount everything we say. And you consider yourself successful with women? How does that work, when you believe they don't know what they're talking about? Arrogance doesn't go over well with women.
Tri doesn't need to be more direct, what he does works for him. Yogurt man got a wife through his approach. What you don't want to understand, is that indirect works great for a lot of guys. Why not live and let live, instead of telling everyone you have a superior method? (Arrogance doesn't work too well with other guys, either.)
Yogurt guy didn't get as far as marriage.
And I really can't imagine going around having to not believe anyone when they say they like something. Sounds like they're making things really difficult, at the least.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012
id block your path any day of the week and twice on sunday. youd prolly like it too.
That is ALSO a good point. But, I'm putting myself in a guy's shoes for a moment, or at least trying to. If I ever had the desire to go up and start talking to a guy I didn't know that I found attractive, never in a million years would I go up and say, "Hi, I find you very attractive." Think about it...the attraction is OBVIOUS, or else I wouldn't go up to him in the first place. So, it doesn't need to be said. For me, if a guy can't find anything else to say to me besides the fact that he thinks I'm attractive, he's not trying very hard. lol There's always going to be something else that could be said, depending on the circumstances (i.e. where we are at, what we are doing, etc).
The reason we cant agree on this, is that im a man and you are a woman. I am direct and you are indirect. In this instance we are attracted to two polar opposites because they stand for masculine and feminine traits.
And I really can't imagine going around having to not believe anyone when they say they like something. Sounds like they're making things really difficult, at the least.
You better wear a helmet.
Maybe Ill just dye my hair instead?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
And why should Tri be ashamed, just because he chooses a different opener than you? At least he's approaching women and talking to them, which is more than a lot of guys can manage.
And in my current town those nasty looks are a lot more rare. Where I used to live you couldn't even carry a camera in public without getting the "glare of death". People hate having their pictures taken, and I guess they assume that for some reason you'll take a picture of them. 
Come to think of it, maybe I need to use my camera when someone asks me for money or tries to sell me something. 
