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Yes, but you see...so much harm came about, to both males and females, due to the programming done..."You need a man!" Absolutely NEEDING someone, leads to vulnerability. You shouldn't NEED someone, you should WANT someone. There is a difference. When you need someone and they're not there for you, it leads to disappointment.
Women NEEDED men, because they were never taught to do "male" things. What happens when you are led to believe you need someone and they don't or WON'T do any of the things that you were led to believe you needed them for? Hmmm You see, many women have come to the realization that there are really very few things that they actually "need" men for. Men have to ask themselves...how that came about! Were they meeting those needs?
Even I was raised by a woman who constantly said, "You NEED a man to do certain things!" That's blatantly untrue. Personally, I don't NEED a man for anything. I'm still with my husband because I love him. Even more importantly, I'm still with my husband because I LIKE him! As far as needing him? .....no, there's nothing he can do, that I can't do myself. My not "needing" him, takes a whole lot of pressure off of him. He knows that we are together because I WANT to be with him, not because I NEED to be with him.
It went from telling us we NEED a man, to we DON'T NEED one and, in fact, imply you shouldn't have one at all.
Why can't it be simply that, yes, you may want a man to complete your life, and there is nothing wrong with having one, or not, if that's what you prefer. Isn't that what freedom is about?
Exactly! IMHO, that's what it should be about. Women shouldn't automatically fear having a man in their life and assume that they're going to be a disappointment. There are some amazing men out there. Sadly, it's kind of like the news these days, isn't it? If it's not bad news, it's not newsworthy. Rarely do you hear about the amazing men out there. Even on CD, if you talk about what a wonderful man you have...the man who really cares, listens, helps out, etc., you'll have people jump on and tell you your man has a mangina....that your husband is secretly a woman...or that your man is pu$$y whipped.
It's sickening to think we live in a society where so many neanderthal men, who are unsuccessful in relationships, refuse to LEARN from the successful ones. They'd rather bash them and insult them, than admit that there's something wrong with them...and that's why they're unsuccessful in their relationships!
ADD: As a partner in a relationship, we likely have expectations. The division of labor/chores seems to end up being the biggest obstacle to overcome....ranks right up there with how the money is spent. We SHOULD have these expectations! If you're not on the same page, (or close to it)...in deed AND in word, the relationship is destined to fail.
For instance...I am the one who goes and does the grocery shopping, even if I'm the one who is working full time. I "expect" my husband to take responsibility for making dinner. I expect him to use what we have in the pantry and freezer, to make that dinner. I expect for him to NOT lounge around all day, watching television, or running around all day doing nothing. I expect that he is doing all of the "chores/tasks" that I would be doing, if HE were the one working all day. Yes....we have expectations. It's why the old saying is out there..."Do not yoke yourself to an unequal....." Okay....unbeliever, but hey?
yeah, why do women always insist, keep believing that men are natural born hunters?
I don't know....that makes as much sense as women thinking that all men are mechanically inclined or excellent at carpentry. It makes as much sense as thinking a guy must be g*y if he's a great cook. It makes as much sense as thinking that women couldn't possibly be excellent carpenters, mechanics, plumbers, electricians, etc. It makes as much sense as assuming that all women should be excellent cooks and love to clean up after others.
PS..... By the way....ALL women do not believe that ALL men are natural born hunters. Some men would probably starve to death if they had to depend on killing something for their survival.
This is just my opinion, open to rebuke or rebuttal. IMO, a lot of women these days (mostly younger, under 35) are immature, condescending and egotistical and expect that a man doesn't behave like that in exchange. Men can be this way too, but are forced to be more gentleman-like to fulfill society's standards; at least in the dating world. It is hard being a man dating in the West. I've heard stories of women threatening to call the police for sexual harassment on men for simply asking them out on a date. I mean it is hard being a guy in the dating game in Western society. So much is expected and he is ridiculed and insulted so badly when he fails. Women have it hard in the way that they must politely or impolitely brush off all the attempts, if they are lucky. I hardly think most women not like being hit on, but many will use it as a weapon. Think of all the hours women will spend doing their hair, nails, makeup, clothing, etc etc. A guy takes a shower, shaves (usually), maybe a dab of cologne puts on a quick pair of clothes and kazaam. Yes, women want attention, but remember most married girls or ones in relationships also make themselves look attractive. It is the nature of a female to want attention , yet to act as if she doesn't.
Then there is another problem I have encountered living in a small town, the B-word or H-word. Yes, Boyfriend or Husband. Many women actually have boyfriends and husbands. If a guy asks a girl out and she has a boyfriend or husband, and he finds out, that can result in a violent confrontation, that could even lead to death. You hear stories many times of a guy who hits on a girl or flirts with a girl and the boyfriend/husband sees it and it leads to a jealous fight over a misunderstanding. In a small town like where I live, word spreads around and considering over 90% of girls are hitched here, it is very risky business to ask any girl out. It's a small college town and most people are hooked up through a network of friends. For a newer person, who doesn't know a girl and try to ask her out is very risky in this respect.
Last edited by EastMeetsWest7; 08-24-2012 at 11:38 PM..
This is just my opinion, open to rebuke or rebuttal. IMO, a lot of women these days (specifically younger) are immature, condescending and egotistical and expect that a man doesn't behave like that in exchange. Men can be this way too, but are forced to be more gentleman-like to fulfill society's standards; at least in the dating world. It is hard being a man dating in the West. I've heard stories of women threatening to call the police for sexual harassment on men for simply asking them out on a date. I mean it is hard being a guy in the dating game in Western society. So much is expected and he is ridiculed and insulted so badly when he fails. Women have it hard in the way that they must politely or impolitely brush off all the attempts, if they are lucky. I hardly think most women not like being hit on, but many will use it as a weapon. Think of all the hours women will spend doing their hair, nails, makeup, clothing, etc etc. A guy takes a shower, shaves (usually), maybe a dab of cologne puts on a quick pair of clothes and kazaam. Yes, women want attention, but remember most married girls or ones in relationships also make themselves look attractive. It is the nature of a female to want attention , yet to act as if she doesn't.
Then there is another problem I have encountered living in a small town, the B-word or H-word. Yes, Boyfriend or Husband. Many women actually have boyfriends and husbands. If a guy asks a girl out and she has a boyfriend or husband, and he finds out, that can result in a violent confrontation, that could even lead to death. You hear stories many times of a guy who hits on a girl or flirts with a girl and the boyfriend/husband sees it and it leads to a jealous fight over a misunderstanding. In a small town like where I live, word spreads around and considering over 90% of girls are hitched here, it is very risky business to ask any girl out. It's a small college town and most people are hooked up through a network of friends. For a newer person, who doesn't know a girl and try to ask her out is very risky in this respect.
For your first paragraph, is there a reason why the women act like that? Could it be that the women have been heavily harassed in the past and have learned to stand up for themselves? That's the main reason why a lot of my girlfriends are dismissive and, yes bitchy, towards men that make advances. They know if they give them even a *little* bit of attention they could turn into a full blown stalker. It's happened to me, it's happened to nearly all of my girlfriends. I'm still much nicer, but I can absolutely understand why some women are very straightforward about rejection.
When I dress up, it's not for attention or to get a man. I do it because it makes me feel good about myself. It's pathetic, I know because looks shouldn't mean much in the grand scheme of things, but sometimes I randomly decide to put on a nice dress and heels and do my makeup and hair because it makes me feel sexy. Not because of what some dude might think.
Quote:
I've heard stories of women threatening to call the police for sexual harassment on men for simply asking them out on a date
As for this, I have a feeling there is much more behind the story. I have had a friend call the police for a man 'simply asking her out' as the man said, but what really happened is that he followed her around, harassed her, wouldn't leave her alone, waited outside the bar for her and tried to follow her home. He saw that as being 'friendly' and 'assertive'. She saw it as creepy and unwanted.
For your first paragraph, is there a reason why the women act like that? Could it be that the women have been heavily harassed in the past and have learned to stand up for themselves? That's the main reason why a lot of my girlfriends are dismissive and, yes bitchy, towards men that make advances. They know if they give them even a *little* bit of attention they could turn into a full blown stalker. It's happened to me, it's happened to nearly all of my girlfriends. I'm still much nicer, but I can absolutely understand why some women are very straightforward about rejection.
When I dress up, it's not for attention or to get a man. I do it because it makes me feel good about myself. It's pathetic, I know because looks shouldn't mean much in the grand scheme of things, but sometimes I randomly decide to put on a nice dress and heels and do my makeup and hair because it makes me feel sexy. Not because of what some dude might think.
As for this, I have a feeling there is much more behind the story. I have had a friend call the police for a man 'simply asking her out' as the man said, but what really happened is that he followed her around, harassed her, wouldn't leave her alone, waited outside the bar for her and tried to follow her home. He saw that as being 'friendly' and 'assertive'. She saw it as creepy and unwanted.
Good for you. We should all feel good about ourselves. And yes that's still hot
and you feel good about yourself, because men find you attractive. sorry, but thats the truth, whether you consciously admit it or not
Weird, because I went to a bbq/ladies night at a friends house all dressed to the nines because I had some extra time on my hands. The only man there was her husband.
I guess I was trying to impress him?
Again, quit telling me what I think, it's very unbecoming.
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Exactly! IMHO, that's what it should be about. Women shouldn't automatically fear having a man in their life and assume that they're going to be a disappointment. There are some amazing men out there. Sadly, it's kind of like the news these days, isn't it? If it's not bad news, it's not newsworthy. Rarely do you hear about the amazing men out there. Even on CD, if you talk about what a wonderful man you have...the man who really cares, listens, helps out, etc., you'll have people jump on and tell you your man has a mangina....that your husband is secretly a woman...or that your man is pu$$y whipped. 
