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You're a grown woman. Start telling her that this is your life and not her's and that you don't care for her particular views and she can keep them to herself. If she call's you out of name, then do the same to her. If she hits you...you hit back.
Don't be scared, that's why they call it s-e-l-f d-e-f-e-n-s-e
It's not really as easy as you would think it is to stand up to a parent who abused you as a child.
The very sound of her mothers voice likely transports her immediately back to a little girl on the inside.
Bloody hell. I misspelled conservative. But you all understand what I'm saying. Keep the suggestions coming. Ugh. The thought of hearing my mother go off for hours is making me positively ill. I am 24, with a job and Masters degree and this is the only thing that reduces me to a complete mess.
In the grown up world we do not sweep problems under the rug, or hide our live in boyfriends from our parents just to avoid any confrontation
You're just projecting. You're not thinking in her shoes. Rather you are spouting off something "you" want her to do. If anything loves, I'll give you a smooch, but not an agreement.
Bloody hell. I misspelled conservative. But you all understand what I'm saying. Keep the suggestions coming. Ugh. The thought of hearing my mother go off for hours is making me positively ill. I am 24, with a job and Masters degree and this is the only thing that reduces me to a complete mess.
You are 24, with a master's degree and a job and are perfectly free to hang up the phone or ask your mother to leave your house or simply walk away from her. YOU have just as much power as she does.
Why do you allow them in your life right now? What do they bring to it?
You're just projecting. You're not thinking in her shoes. Rather you are spouting off something "you" want her to do. If anything loves, I'll give you a smooch, but not an agreement.
If I'm "projecting" it's because I've BEEN in her shoes.
Until she learns to stand up to her parents she will have no peace. She will live with a constant low level of anxiety over what they will do or say next.
Avoidance is not a fix. It's a temporary reprieve and is not a real solution.
Which is why I would hope she would avoid your advice my friend
Why do you allow them in your life right now? What do they bring to it?[/quote]
I don't know really. I didn't talk to my mom for a long time, and it was fine and great. But I felt bad telling people me and my mom were estranged. They always had questions, always made ME feel bad for not speaking to her. "you know you only have one mom, blah blah." But she's not nice to me. She acts like a mom for a small percentage of the time. But she says really mean things and never apologizes. When I was a kid she treated me differently than the rest of my siblings and beat me senseless and guised it as "discipline". I wasn't a bad kid, but she certainly treated me like one.
I guess I'll keep hoping she will change and actually be proud of me or nice to me. And say she was wrong or she was sorry for some of the terrible things she's said and done.
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