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Acid does far more damage to the vessel that holds it, then anything it can be poured upon.
Words to live by. If you have gotten a divorce, split up, whatever, its time to focus on you, and let the hate of the other person go. I have ex's that I think are stupid I'd never want to talk to again. It doesn't mean I hate them, I pity them.
Very true.
I don't hate my ex husband. I don't like him, either. He, on the other hand, doesn't know how to be civil and let anything go... he's a grudge holder. Funny part is, his anger issues are what ruined our marriage for me and caused me to give up... I mean, I tried, but it wasn't healthy.
So, yeah... I would prefer never to have contact with him again, but I don't hate him.
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Every night before I go to sleep, I say a little prayer.
It goes something like this:
Lord, please let there be an earthquake, and the ceiling beams fall across my ex's hips.....pinning her tightly. And please let there be a sheet of ceiling material which smothers her calls for help. And please, let her cell phone be active, but just out of reach.
And please, lord, let her lay like this for a few days before succumbing to a painful death.
No...i don't love her any longer. She did this to herself, and is quite proud of being the devil reincarnate. I pray every day that she dies as such.
And when she gets to hell, I hope it is even worse.
Wow. How long has it been since you divorced/broke up, Ted?
My divorce will be final this week, so I can understand that kind of anger to an extent. But, honestly, I sure hope I'm not feeling it even 6 months from now. The other poster who said that hatred only hurts the hater is right. YOU are choosing to hang on to it, and you're not doing yourself any favors by doing so.
I don't think I will feel the same anger in 6 months, though. As my mom says (though I'm paraphrasing), I will begin to feel much, much better as soon as I get away from the motherfu**er.
Oh, and NO, I no longer love, and will feel NO love in the future, for my soon-to-be-ex. Like him? Maybe one day. But certainly not any form of love.
Last edited by newdixiegirl; 08-26-2014 at 12:49 PM..
Love? Sure, she is a good hearted perosn who I share a perosnal bond with. I have no reason to hate her and have never been given one.
Love only requires a willingness to appreciate the other for who they are, it doesn't have to end with jumping in bed. A lesson hard learned with time.
We are compatible as people but not as lovers, that's all it came down to for us. No drama in the ending of our relationship or hate, just a realization we wanted something different for ourselves.
She is an awesome person and remains a close friend to myself and my family
Wow. How long has it been since you divorced/broke up, Ted?
My divorce will be final this week, so I can understand that kind of anger to an extent. But, honestly, I sure hope I'm not feeling it even 6 months from now. The other poster who said that hatred only hurts the hater is right. YOU are choosing to hang on to it, and you're not doing yourself any favors by doing so.
I don't think I will feel the same anger in 6 months, though. As my mom says (though I'm paraphrasing), I will begin to feel much, much better as soon as I get away from the motherfu**er.
Oh, and NO, I no longer love, and will feel NO love in the future, for my soon-to-be-ex. Like him? Maybe. But certainly not any form of love.
How long? In round numbers, ten years.
But she fired the last of her legal bullets this past January. She wanted an adjustment to child support because i have houses, women, and cash hidden around the world. Until she found out that I had been generously overpaying for several years.
Two adults could have sat down, sorted on anything between us, and moved on. The children would have been much better off for it, I believe.
But no, she had to express her seething rage. Constantly. Accusations (legal/criminal). Court motions (constantly--she is a former lawyer). Lies to anyone who would still listen--just to keep stirring the pot. Harassment--private investigators, letters to employers, freedom of information requests, internet snooping constantly.
To this day I am SO guarded in every move I make. I have had to insulate myself, and those around me, from any eventuality. I believe it is a one in a million situation, barely believable to anyone who has not actually lived it.
Truly, I try to not get consumed by anger, as I really understand how unhealthy it is. However, that doesn't mean I am about to forgive, nor wish her nothing but the very, very worst of outcomes in her life.
Does it make you wonder how well you really knew him? That's how I would feel. Once someone starts lying, I question everything about him. I guess my trust is easily broken.
This was my deal, as well. As soon as a major lie got uncovered, it was like the house of cards came tumbling down. All the little ones that were easy enough to miss along the way became blatantly obvious once it became clear that I was dealing with a person who'd been concealing a pretty dishonest core character.
While there is no love left in my heart for him due to his many and varied deceptions (and because it's intentionally been multiple years since I've seen him or conversed with him, so it's all water pretty far under the bridge, not a new, stinging pain), I also don't hate him. It would probably make sense to have pity for him, as he is a very, very damaged person with a lot of problems, I can't quite even muster that, because I can't find it in my heart to pity somebody who treats others so poorly, even if it is learned behavior. I don't hate him, either, because, quite honestly, that requires more energy than I'm willing to expend on him. I can't say I would be destroyed if I heard that bad things happened to him, in fact, I would be thoroughly unsurprised. But it wouldn't personally affect my life one way or another, at this point.
To paraphrase an earlier poster, it's not an issue of hate. It's an issue of "I just don't care."
Well I don't. I was on my way home and something made me think of this topic. I hear women say, "I will always love him," or "There will always be a special place for him in my heart, he is the father of my children."
I am not sure if I felt like this or not in the past, but I know I don't now. There is no place for him in my heart. I don't hate him, I just don't love him. He treated me terribly and I had to get the strength and power from within to leave him, and finally I did.
For years he still tried to control me but he doesn't anymore. For me, he is my kids father. There is no special place tucked away for him in my heart.
What about you?
My ex has a special place in my heart. As a matter of fact, I wish I had a recent picture of him......preferably a chalk outline.
Of course I love my ex-husband.
It's simply nostalgic love; not active or something that stops me from having active loving relationships.
He had fine qualities that drew me to him.
We had some serious differences (I can't be in debt, it didn't bother him), but fundamentally we shared a lot.
Do I want to live with him again, heavens no.
But it doesn't make him a bad person, we just had differences that we couldn't reconcile.
I don't understand the hatred, that's a lot of energy expended for what...
/\ This. I'm not in love with my ex-wife, but there is still a love. We just couldn't be together, that's all.
Jesus, no. He said so many hurtful, hateful things in an effort to make our relationship problems all my fault. He has never apologized for any of it and continues to say hurtful things to this day (they are much more subtle).
I don't know if I ever really loved him, or just loved the idea that someone loved me. he worked long hours and traveled a lot, and it was hard for me to feel loved under those circumstances.
For a long time he would tell our kids that he loves me, but he was no longer In Love with me. If he loved me, he sure had some funny ways of showing it. I don't think he says that anymore, he is remarried now. Bless her little heart. I don't know if she knows what she is in for. He husband committed suicide, so I guess she figures a half-@ssed husband is better than none.
I actually feel bad for my ex husbands gf or maybe she is his fiance now. I know how he was when we were married and I see that he is the same with her. I hate for her to marry him and live the kind of hell I lived. Maybe it will be different for them, I don't know.
Ah well..
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