Absolutely crushed. Need a Pick me UP please (girl, younger, American)
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You need to put some serious distance between you and her. No more contact of any kind. And stop comparing yourself to the new guy because that's not productive at all.
My Ex of a year has been broken up with me for about 3 months now but we have kept in contact and our feelings are still there. We even let the physical side come into play through these 3 months. Now she is seeing a new guy who she says is amazing and very respectful of her (which I was) but this guy didn't even hold hands their first couple of "dates". I made the unfortunate mistake of looking on her FB tonight and she posted a status that she was stiff because of her recent car wreck. He commented saying, "I'll fix it " and she said " haha thanks baby. my body is hating me right now ) Just seeing her actually call this guy baby crushed me. She isn't even in a relationship with a guy but is now calling him that publicly. She has me blocked so I saw it on my friend's. I honestly think this is her rebound (the guy is not very attractive as she's admitted, but I know they have kissed by now) She always seems to depend on a guy in her life and doesn't want a relationship atm but wants that guy there so she can feel comfortable or whatever it is. It's a friday night and I'm home alone, feeling like crap now. Anybody have some advice ? much appreciated
Strangely enough, none of my breakups (the very few of them) ever resulted in this kind of stuff. They were always clean breakups and the women never jumped to other men.
But there have been two memorable cases where I have had strong feelings for women who jilted me and they jumped to other men and I had to endure it.
And I must say...
I know exactly the pain you are going through bro. It's the worst kind of pain. So, here's my advice...
1) Complete no contact. No Facebook. Nothing. Delete her number from your phone too. Fight all urges to look at her pictures.
2) If you are not doing anything, do something. Like if you are sitting around unemployed, find a job or go back to school. Keep your time occupied.
3*) I asteriked this one because it will be controversial. Find somebody else to date. People will tell you it's scummy because you are using the new woman as a rebound, but I don't look at it that way. Somebody else can make you momentarily forget about the pain of the one you feel for with somebody else. If you handle things well, no feelings will get hurt.
If you're anything like me, you're imagining them having sex and doing all kinds of naughty things, and torturing yourself. Another woman will help you.
4) Listen to music and play the GUITAR. That is your outlet as a musician. All those hours you put in to practice comes in handy right now. Put on a good song and jam. Let yourself go and put your soul in that instrument. The ability to play music has a palliative quality. Anyway, I assume you can play.
All the posters here think I'm bitter and negative. Oh man. They should see me if I didn't have my love of music to take off some of the edge. I'd be way worse ... or dead. As Les Paul said, "My guitar is like my shrink."
I'd get around people, maybe go to the bar ( not necessarily to try and get another woman) , but be around some fun. I've been in your shoes and the worst thing was sitting around dwelling on it, alone.
Do some volunteer work. Since you're a musician, find a private tutor and volunteer to work with him while teaching students. Maybe you can volunteer at a youth center, or play music at a Senior Citizens Center.
I've been in your shoes and it ain't fun. But I got over it. You will, too.
Yes, we all know how it feels...and no contact is best...
Sending OP a hug
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sgt. Buzzcut
I'd get around people, maybe go to the bar ( not necessarily to try and get another woman) , but be around some fun. I've been in your shoes and the worst thing was sitting around dwelling on it, alone.
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" and she said " haha thanks baby. my body is hating me right now 
) Just seeing her actually call this guy baby crushed me. She isn't even in a relationship with a guy but is now calling him that publicly. She has me blocked so I saw it on my friend's. I honestly think this is her rebound (the guy is not very attractive as she's admitted, but I know they have kissed by now) She always seems to depend on a guy in her life and doesn't want a relationship atm but wants that guy there so she can feel comfortable or whatever it is. It's a friday night and I'm home alone, feeling like crap now. Anybody have some advice ? much appreciated
