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I'm a social cripple...where does that rate on the scale?
I'd say a 3.
Myself I hate being sociable, which may well be a hinderance to meeting them in the first place but then if I ever was single again it'd most probably be a permanent thing. I really couldn't be arsed with playing games.
If I met someone by accident, well, great I suppose but I certainly wouldn't go looking, balls to that.
The amount in a guy's 401K is a dealbreaker for you at age 39?
3 to 6% of your salary plus 50% for what like 15 years of working?
That's like 100K for the average person if they kept the same job since the start. That's not a lot of $. The bulk of your retirement has to come from other sources.
Yes, at 39 he should have a good chunk of change for retirement. I plan to retire in my mid-50's and I would want my SO to be able to do the same. If he can't, we won't be well matched. Some folks are savers/investors and some folks are spenders. Nothing wrong with either but I would want an SO to be on the same page with me.
And while I stated 401K...I meant retirement funds/savings in general.
Yes, at 39 he should have a good chunk of change for retirement. I plan to retire in my mid-50's and I would want my SO to be able to do the same. If he can't, we won't be well matched. Some folks are savers/investors and some folks are spenders. Nothing wrong with either but I would want an SO to be on the same page with me.
And while I stated 401K...I meant retirement funds/savings in general.
That's ambitious.
With four kids, I really can't see how you guys can put enough away to retire at 55. That's assuming you're married and that you've both been socking away at least 10% of your salary since you started working PLUS 401K, PLUS good investing. It still wouldn't be enough. You are looking at funding 25-30 years of living. Unless you guys are like a doctor/investment banker couple.
I mean, social security is crumbling. You can't count on that.
This the the wrong forum for this discussion, but I made a couple of posts in the retirement forum regarding this kind of thing. You might want to do the same.
I have a Mother I will be responsible for. -1
I have four children, they are all self supporting adults, but family is family. My son is in the Army, he could come home with a brain injury or something...who knows. -4
I have student loans. -1
I have a good job. +1
No kids at home.+1
I guess I am in the negative. You never can predict the future.
And, how much baggage is an acceptable amount in another (potential)?
And, what is it? (Don't have to answer that one..)
It really depends on the dynamics of the relationship. I am paranoid about being seen as some sort of live-in maid again. If we're not living together or married, it's irrelevant. Likewise, if I'm with a similarly neat person, it would also be irrelevant--I would hope. But if a slob asked me to live with or marry him, then it would matter. So I guess maybe then it would be a 3 or 4. Other than that, I do not have baggage because I do not blame my current man for what the men before him said and did.
As far as someone else's baggage is concerned, I wouldn't tolerate a whole lot of baggage. You could say I'm baggage-intolerant. Just as I don't blame my current for what other men have said and done, I would not want to be blamed for what other women have said and done.
Also, I am really not sure why people are bringing kids, income, etc., into it unless those things are directly related to experience with the behavior of an ex. I take baggage to mean "fears or negative emotions incurred because of past experiences with other partners."
I think to answer this question would require an intensely self aware person.
I haven't met that many people I would say is that aware of themselves.....
5 or 6 for myself, but as I referenced..... maybe I don't have enough self awareness to answer the question properly.
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