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Old 11-26-2012, 09:09 PM
 
8,779 posts, read 9,454,139 times
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ive had an ex-friend do this to me. i found out years later she was the cause of some events involving other female friends she believed had some interest in me not talking to me anymore. she went on spreading rumors about me that where hilariously untrue to gain my favor over them.
years after the fact after we had completely lost touch and she was now married and had children she sent me a message apologizing for being this way and explaining what she did in detail, i had no idea she did this until this message.

the way i look at it i cant be angry at this point, she probably inadvertently caused me to lose friends with gullible people who whee friends with me for the wrong reasons i wouldn't have kept around anyways.

Last edited by rego00123; 11-26-2012 at 09:42 PM..
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Old 11-26-2012, 09:38 PM
 
Location: Chicago
3,391 posts, read 4,483,007 times
Reputation: 7857
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
Ever heard of this? I've seen this phenomenon many times and have even had it happen to me a couple of times. On two separate occasions, a guy I liked didn't want me but as soon as I started showing interest in another guy, he tried to ruin it.

What causes this?


Is it an animal type of possessiveness/territorialness, or do they just feel good having a backup that waits for them forever and ever?
Often, male jealousy is fueled less by a desire for women than by feelings of competitiveness towards other men. You analogy of animal possessiveness is not far off.
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Old 10-15-2014, 12:20 PM
 
1,035 posts, read 2,061,550 times
Reputation: 2180
Yeah. If it's someone you were never with who "c-ck blocks" you, it's usually that 1) they actually do want you but want you to think they don't because that makes them feel like they have power over you or 2) they really don't want you, but are vain/insecure/possessive enough to require your interest in them anyway and know that you being with someone else will divide or entirely deprive them of that attention.

Either way, it indicates something lacking on their part.

When I don't want you, you can do whateva you darn well please with whoeva you bloody well like. I have no such need for unrequited puppies humping my leg to take any ownership over those I'm not interested in.
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Old 10-15-2014, 12:25 PM
 
Location: Europe
2,728 posts, read 2,700,283 times
Reputation: 4210
I know this type of guy too. He goes even that long he would break their new relationships.
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Old 10-16-2014, 08:37 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
182 posts, read 264,365 times
Reputation: 202
It's embarrassing to admit this, but when I was about 17 I really, really liked this girl who liked me back. Then all my bro's told me the gossip about her - that she was kind of promiscuous, so I rejected her because of that.

I was so angry and hurt that a girl, who I had so much emotional investment in, had 'betrayed' me like that (before she even knew me) that I decided she wasn't ever worthy of a relationship with anyone, so I passed on the gossip about her to the next guy who liked her to prevent him from dating her, either.

It turns out all my bros had a thing for her at one time or another and had passed down all the dirt on her for the same reason.
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Old 10-16-2014, 09:52 AM
 
28,895 posts, read 54,165,927 times
Reputation: 46685
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
Ever heard of this? I've seen this phenomenon many times and have even had it happen to me a couple of times. On two separate occasions, a guy I liked didn't want me but as soon as I started showing interest in another guy, he tried to ruin it.

What causes this?


Is it an animal type of possessiveness/territorialness, or do they just feel good having a backup that waits for them forever and ever?
Human nature. When I was single, I was never so desirable to an ex as when I was suddenly dating someone else.
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Old 10-17-2014, 08:17 AM
 
7,492 posts, read 11,830,974 times
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I hate it, it's like guys who act like they have some kind of claim on you, and tell everybody else, but never make an actual move to be with you. It's the kind of thing that makes you look crazy if you try to stand up for yourself.
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Old 10-17-2014, 12:07 PM
 
Location: USA
31,068 posts, read 22,086,243 times
Reputation: 19091
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Human nature. When I was single, I was never so desirable to an ex as when I was suddenly dating someone else.
It's so true. This has happened to me in various degrees, but most involved an old gf trying to sabotage who I was currently seeing by showing up at a place where we were at. It never really worked but it was a pain in the arse.
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Old 05-28-2016, 07:22 PM
 
11 posts, read 7,550 times
Reputation: 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by rego00123 View Post
ive had an ex-friend do this to me. i found out years later she was the cause of some events involving other female friends she believed had some interest in me not talking to me anymore. she went on spreading rumors about me that where hilariously untrue to gain my favor over them.
years after the fact after we had completely lost touch and she was now married and had children she sent me a message apologizing for being this way and explaining what she did in detail, i had no idea she did this until this message.

the way i look at it i cant be angry at this point, she probably inadvertently caused me to lose friends with gullible people who whee friends with me for the wrong reasons i wouldn't have kept around anyways.
Wow, that sounds so very complicated on her part and you sound very gracious. I am definitely convinced that soooooo many secrets our hidden from each others eyes in this world. What if we could not hide the secrets we hold inside our hearts - but everyone could see everything clearly. What do you suppose that would be like?
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Old 05-28-2016, 07:28 PM
 
11 posts, read 7,550 times
Reputation: 21
Sounds like my marriage that I was trapped in for decades. He wanted to stay married, but never had any intention of participating in the relationship. Finally got out. Sheesh!

Another thing I experienced that was similar was in high school there were a couple of guys that bragged in public about having slept with me! But it was not true. I have never understood why guys would do such a thing, but I tell you what, I really do think men are a zillion times crazier than women and more emotional, ego driven and insecure. I don't ever recall any woman bragging about being with a man.
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