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We don't always see eye to eye but I get where the OP is coming from. I think I'm just in a bad mood today. It's hard not to get discouraged/bitter when time after time things don't work out. I often feel frustrated because if I really like a guy of course I want to sleep with him, but if I sleep with him too fast or with too much enthusiam I feel like I get thrown into the booty call category. If I wait then I'm a tease or a prude. Part of it is not allowing bad behavior. People can only treat you poorly if you let them. I dated a guy who I felt was just using me and when I called him out I never heard from him again.
Bitterness isn't attractive over the long term, but I think we're all entitled to a pity party now and then, and I'm definitely having one for myself today.
I just dont get this AT ALL! Kiki, You are HOT! And we can tell from your posts that you are intelligent. So I just cant figure out why you are having such relationship issues. You arent being too picky are you??
Next time tell the woman BEFORE sex and as soon as possible that you're not looking for something long term.
Since when does long term equal talking about marriage and having kids, though?
With my ex wife, that didn't even come up until years after we met and started dating..
Anyway, she got much more than I did with the sexual things we did, and she seemed to enjoy it at the time.
Having sex on our second/third date wasn't the reason we didn't work out. I could picture us still dating right now, if the other stuff didn't come up.
If she's at all reflecting on our relationship and thinking I *used* her for sex (as the OP is in this case) - she is completely wrong.
Come on, already. Not all of us are online every waking moment ready to post, and not all of us are on every thread because SOME of us DO get tired of the pissing and moaning from the same old members who won't take responsibility for their own part in their disastrous love-lives. Me? I had to have lunch and fuel up before even clicking on this thread because I knew it was going to be a bitter-arse pity-party.
So you and RamCharger1985 can stop with your own blasted generalizations right about now, yourself. Kthnxbai.
When I was younger I often slept with a guy early on thinking it was a relationship. It wasn't, he just wanted sex. Meanwhile I saw many of these men marry other women. I am 41 and will probably be single the rest of my life because I didn't realize these losers only saw me as a piece of meat. Next man who tries to get sex from me will get what he deserves and it won't be pretty.
Two days ago you were posting about your future engagement to Taco Boy..."watch this space".
Has something changed?
Did he confess he only likes burritos and hasn't eaten a taco for decades?
It's kind of wierd when people post things about not having sex, to me. I've always been a "show me a good time" type of girl and I have been engaged 3 times, married once (never again) and have several long term relationships of varying seriousness.
I've always been told that my unbridled enjoyment of sex is one of my charms.
I'm curious...what do you think about this idea though (directly below). It seems like something a lot of women would view as a good idea...and the dating scene is probably more hazardous for women than men.
What do I feel about never having sex with someone I don't love? I could care less what other people do - just don't whine and complain and blame everyone else for your mistakes. I've had sex with people I didn't love. No biggie. But I have been very discerning about who I've slept with - I've been very safe and I always knew what I was getting into and what I was going to get out of it. I'm responsible for my own choices - and I'm happy to say I don't regret any of them.
I screwed many a man on the first date and admittedly many didn't come back, but some did. I also had dates where I didn't get freaky the first date and I never saw them again, either.
Just luck, I guess.
It's not mean-spiritedness. When I first started responding to IDDY's posts, I (and I'm sure a few others) gave her the benefit of the doubt, like I try to do with everyone. As time went on, and thread after thread after thread revealed that she has become her own worst enemy, I (and I'm sure a few others) merely ran out of patience and lost the will to coddle. There comes a point where an adult MUST own his or her actions if they're going to have any shot at being happy with whatever else life has in store for them. Forget being appealing to the gender of choice. It's about acknowledging your actions, owning your actions, and then--this is key--forgiving yourself. If you can't forgive yourself, you can't forgive others, and if you can't forgive others, you can't move on and create a happier life for yourself.
And lemme tellya, rare is the 40-something who doesn't cringe at some of the behavior of their 20-something selves. No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, and the younger one is, the more mistakes one is likely to make simply for want of knowledge and experience. Just as she needs to forgive herself for her lousy judgment, and forgive them for behaving like the young, dumb, and full of come dolts they probably were, she can be assured that there are some 40-something men out there who probably look back on their treatment of her and have to forgive themselves for it. I mentioned in another thread how my prom date from 1984 apologized to me a few years ago for being a bad date.
And if a guy doesn't have a conscience for treating someone shabbily, then she should be grateful that she dodged a bullet and didn't end up actually married to such a consummate ahole.
There is no point to wallowing in this CRAP for 20 years.
I was depressed after reading my cousin's announcement, which is why I started this thread and the Facebook one. I do blame myself for being too easy for some of the men I dated and regret what I did. Also, I did date a few guys who liked me for me and I still chat with a few of them (and three are Facebook friends). As for Taco man I have no idea what is going on with him but am waiting to see where it goes. I saw him today but didn't chat long because his mom was there.
I just dont get this AT ALL! Kiki, You are HOT! And we can tell from your posts that you are intelligent. So I just cant figure out why you are having such relationship issues. You arent being too picky are you??
I don't think I am...maybe I just pick the wrong guys. But thank you for the compliment.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou
I was depressed after reading my cousin's announcement, which is why I started this thread and the Facebook one. I do blame myself for being too easy for some of the men I dated and regret what I did. Also, I did date a few guys who liked me for me and I still chat with a few of them (and three are Facebook friends). As for Taco man I have no idea what is going on with him but am waiting to see where it goes. I saw him today but didn't chat long because his mom was there.
I think you need to be done with this limbo. Ask the man out on a date. A for sure no doubt about it date. Say hey how about we get dinner Sat. night at 7pm at whatever place. I know sometimes you have to be patient and see how things shake out, but enough is enough OP! You need a for sure clear answer on if this man is interested in dating you or not. Ask him out and that will give you your answer. If he says anything but yes that sounds fantastic then I would forget about him and stop wasting my time.
I was depressed after reading my cousin's announcement, which is why I started this thread and the Facebook one. I do blame myself for being too easy for some of the men I dated and regret what I did. Also, I did date a few guys who liked me for me and I still chat with a few of them (and three are Facebook friends). As for Taco man I have no idea what is going on with him but am waiting to see where it goes. I saw him today but didn't chat long because his mom was there.
Do you think it's possible that...for whatever reason...he's just not that into the idea?
Most men would be hitting it within a week if they thought there was a chance.
I was depressed after reading my cousin's announcement, which is why I started this thread and the Facebook one. I do blame myself for being too easy for some of the men I dated and regret what I did. Also, I did date a few guys who liked me for me and I still chat with a few of them (and three are Facebook friends). As for Taco man I have no idea what is going on with him but am waiting to see where it goes. I saw him today but didn't chat long because his mom was there.
I don't understand why this guy is with his mom every time you see him? Well, not every time, but a huge portion of the time compared to the norm, IMO. Idon'tdateyou...What if you're deliberately setting yourself up for a fall again? You're trying to date a non-assertive taco cook (is that the idea with the whole Taco Man thing?) who clings to his mom and even after months (?) can't seem to give you any clear signals...what do you honestly think will happen?
Think about this really hard. I really really feel that deep down you may be deliberately sabotaging yourself yet again. Don't do that -- you will only be making yourself bitter. Wait for someone who really wants you.
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But thank you for the compliment. 
