Can lack of chemistry be improved? (boyfriend, marry, women, kissing)
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Im talking about sexual chemistry, i think you discover it with the first kiss with someone you like. If its bad, most likely the sex is gonna be bad, if its awesome, then it will be most likely awesome. I ve also found that chemistry seem to be instant: either is there fully in the beggining, or it is not. From the, lets say, 20 guys i have kissed in my life (most of them i didnt sleep with) i think 5 of them we had chemistry, 15 of them we didnt too much. Those 15 seemed to be bad kissers. I think chemistry is not that easy to find, and good kissers are not as normal as one would think. But, of course, i ve been off the market many many years and i tend to think it will be IMPOSSIBLE for me to find someone with the chemistry i used to had with my boyfriend of 7 years, wich was there since the beggining.
With the years i realized that my first boyfriend (different that the one im talking about) wasnt such a good kisser and, eventhough we had chemistry, it was nowhere near the "best" chemistry you could have with someone.
Im wondering that if i do find someone i like and want to sleep with him, if the chemistry isnt there in the beggining, it would ever be. Many years ago i had a fling with someone very smart/interesting, but he was a horrible kisser and the chemistry just wasnt there. We sleep together a few times but it didnt get better. I ended things with him knowing it wont be getting better than that anyway.
Is it possible to overlook that lack of chemistry? can it be improved or is chemistry just an instant thing?
what are your opinions on this?
It could get better, in the beginning there are some people that are just awkward around new people but after a while they become more comfortable being their selves.
Im talking about sexual chemistry, i think you discover it with the first kiss with someone you like. If its bad, most likely the sex is gonna be bad, if its awesome, then it will be most likely awesome. I ve also found that chemistry seem to be instant: either is there fully in the beggining, or it is not. From the, lets say, 20 guys i have kissed in my life (most of them i didnt sleep with) i think 5 of them we had chemistry, 15 of them we didnt too much. Those 15 seemed to be bad kissers. I think chemistry is not that easy to find, and good kissers are not as normal as one would think. But, of course, i ve been off the market many many years and i tend to think it will be IMPOSSIBLE for me to find someone with the chemistry i used to had with my boyfriend of 7 years, wich was there since the beggining.
With the years i realized that my first boyfriend (different that the one im talking about) wasnt such a good kisser and, eventhough we had chemistry, it was nowhere near the "best" chemistry you could have with someone.
Im wondering that if i do find someone i like and want to sleep with him, if the chemistry isnt there in the beggining, it would ever be. Many years ago i had a fling with someone very smart/interesting, but he was a horrible kisser and the chemistry just wasnt there. We sleep together a few times but it didnt get better. I ended things with him knowing it wont be getting better than that anyway.
Is it possible to overlook that lack of chemistry? can it be improved or is chemistry just an instant thing?
what are your opinions on this?
I developed chemistry with some men immediately, others over time - through friendship. One man was my friend for over 5 years before we got together. This is a guy I couldn't have seen myself with in a million years during our friendship. Women went nuts over him and I, for the life of me, just couldn't see why. Then he told me how he felt about me, I saw another side to him and KAPOW. I was nuts over him....lol. But we were friends for so long, it felt right and wonderful. So, no, I don't think it is always instant.
But I agree on the kissing thing. That is a pretty reliable gauge for compatibility, at least in my experience. Seems to be a common feeling among others as well.
If someone was 100% perfect for you, you probably would go ahead and marry them thinking you could work on the chemistry.
But you can't fake it, and you often don't realize that until it's too late and you've taken vows.
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