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I can get that a man wouldn't want to have that surgery. I think if you have that attitude though, you leave yourself open for the possibility of accidental pregnancy....only you can decide how you'd handle that.
Using hormonal BC is a less than desirable option, imo, for years on end.
It really depends. If you have endometriosis or a family history of ovarian cancer, the Pill is a modern miracle.
And what if your SO did not want to be on birth control because of side effects or do surgery to her body? Aren't you giving her an ultimatum?
Do you realize birth control can be a million different things?!
The pill isn't the only form. Condoms and diaphrams ring a bell. Whatever...
I realize the side effects of the pill. My sister had a blood clot from it. Whatever she wants is her prerogative, but it doesn't mean I should be forced to follow through with surgery. I am surviving just fine in my current methods without snipping myself.
I have always been super careful but yes getting pregnant is about my worst ( non violence based) nightmare. I would have had a hysterectomy in my early twenties but it was too dangerous because of health issues.
I have never wanted children and the idea that I might get pregnant is just too horrific to contemplate. I would basically have an abortion which quite frankly is not something I ever wish to be forced into.
I am borderline paranoid when it comes to taking precautions but accidents do happen even to the most cautious of women and yes it does indeed prey on my mind. Even now in my 40s it could still happen and quite frankly had someone told me I was completely barren and infertile ( or my husband) years ago I would have been over the moon.
I basically rely on science to keep me child free. And a little Atheist "prayer"... I loathe condoms and I don't think I could ask my Husband to have the snip ( especially as it spoils the "finish" during intercourse which I would really miss).
Getting pregnant is on par with getting cancer in my life ( and I did have Leukaemia for over a decade so I am not being flippant having been through it).
But I would not hesitate one second to have an abortion if I found out I had accidentally fallen pregnant. My life would be so utterly miserable with an unwanted child, I do not have the health for it, nor the patience or motherly feelings and I would make an appalling parent, strict and resentful. I would basically feel my life was over if I had to deal with a child. I admire people who are natural and great parents, such an important and crucial job when done well but not for me thank you.
I have actually had vivid dreams when I wake up convinced I am pregnant and I am literally in tears because the concept is such a appalling and horrific one.
And no getting pregnant even with the child of the man you love is not something that would make me feel better.
Children should be wanted, loved and cherished and should be brought up by parents who can teach and educate them, raise them to achieve their potential , supportive, patient, interested and willing.... Not me basically.
Just talking about it on this thread is inducing a sense of panic and anxiety actually.
I wouldn't say it's typical, but it would be a dealbreaker. I don't like men who not only refuse to look after their own reproductive health, but are cavalier with women's in the process. That's just wrong. If you don't want kids, and you know you don't want kids, get snipped. A woman shouldn't have to alter her body because you made a choice about yourself.
So a man must get snipped? But a woman shouldn't get tied? Why do men HAVE to go through with it but women are excused?
Or are you saying that should occur IF the man alone doesn't want kids? If a couple doesn't want kids I don't understand why the man should be the one to go through with it any more so than the woman...
I have always been super careful but yes getting pregnant is about my worst ( non violence based) nightmare. I would have had a hysterectomy in my early twenties but it was too dangerous because of health issues.
I have never wanted children and the idea that I might get pregnant is just too horrific to contemplate. I would basically have an abortion which quite frankly is not something I ever wish to be forced into.
I am borderline paranoid when it comes to taking precautions but accidents do happen even to the most cautious of women and yes it does indeed prey on my mind. Even now in my 40s it could still happen and quite frankly had someone told me I was completely barren and infertile ( or my husband) years ago I would have been over the moon.
I basically rely on science to keep me child free. And a little Atheist "prayer"... I loathe condoms and I don't think I could ask my Husband to have the snip ( especially as it spoils the "finish" during intercourse which I would really miss).
Getting pregnant is on par with getting cancer in my life ( and I did have Leukaemia for over a decade so I am not being flippant having been through it).
But I would not hesitate one second to have an abortion if I found out I had accidentally fallen pregnant. My life would be so utterly miserable with an unwanted child, I do not have the health for it, nor the patience or motherly feelings and I would make an appalling parent, strict and resentful. I would basically feel my life was over if I had to deal with a child. I admire people who are natural and great parents, such an important and crucial job when done well but not for me thank you.
I have actually had vivid dreams when I wake up convinced I am pregnant and I am literally in tears because the concept is such a appalling and horrific one.
And no getting pregnant even with the child of the man you love is not something that would make me feel better.
Children should be wanted, loved and cherished and should be brought up by parents who can teach and educate them, raise them to achieve their potential , supportive, patient, interested and willing.... Not me basically.
Just talking about it on this thread is inducing a sense of panic and anxiety actually.
You do know that a vasectomy doesn't stop a man from ejaculating, right? There's just no more little swimmers in the fluid (which may slightly decrease the volume, I don't really know for sure). Either way, not a big deal
Men dont realize the serious side effects/health concern of using birth control to a women's body if taken for an extended period of time. It can cause irreversible damage and changes to their hormone levels.
This is why I don't even use birth control. I'm more in tune w/ my body that way, & so my system is (I feel) under my control. The one time I tried it, it royally f***ed my ish up. Never again...
I also try not to worry about getting pregnant because I don't want to jinx myself!
Do you realize birth control can be a million different things?!
The pill isn't the only form. Condoms and diaphrams ring a bell. Whatever...
But the thing is, when you say "we" have different birth control options, aside from condoms, which options affect you more than her? Pills, diaphragms, IUDs, shots, implants, etc. are all things that she will have to deal with--medically, monetarily, physically. If you do not want children and refuse to have a vasectomy, then you're placing almost the entire onus of birth control on your female partner.
I was curious to see what other women with work/school/financial obligations do when they have an innate fear that an accidental pregnancy would change everything they worked (or are working) so hard to achieve.
I remember this fear very well. I had a series of LTR in my 20's, while in school, beginning my career, etc. and I was always petrified of getting pregnant. I did not want kids to interfere with my career plans. I remember doubling up on the birth control (e.g. the pill or shot AND diaphram). I think we'd even sometimes add in withdrawal and/or condoms. And we tried to avoid sex on ovulation days (rhythm method). Still, every month, I was overwhelmingly fearful about pregnancy.
I remember once, in college, feeling like the contraceptive failed and asking my roommate to give me several of her birth control pills so I could create my own "morning after pill." I took the pills and felt sick for days, but I did not get pregnant.
This is really a tough issue for many women. So glad those days are over and I can now fully enjoy sex without worrying about pregnancy (SO was snipped after we had kids). OP, I wish I could give you some good advice on this, but obviously I didn't know how to best handle it myself.
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I loathe condoms and I don't think I could ask my Husband to have the snip ( especially as it spoils the "finish" during intercourse which I would really miss). 
