Is it worth it to be with someone who is not over an ex???

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by Benjamin1986

I have been thinking whether I should break up with my gf or if im just being jealous and insecure.

We met 4 months ago and have been bf and gf just over a month. She is smart, educated, outgoing, and fun to be with. I really care about her and we have fun together and the sex is great.

The downside is her ex and her feelings towards him which she denies. She is 24 and met her ex at around 15 years old so there is a lot of history between them. She stopped seeing him shortly after we met because she said they hadnt been in a serious relationship in years and would just see each other for sex and little more, which needless to say felt like a kick in the balls. In the beginning of our relationship she talked about him a lot and that p*ssed me off, I mean once I get it, twice its ok, three times or more, wtf you're supposed to be with me right? And i told her that i didnt like talking about her ex because i didn't care for him. She tried to play it off and said i didnt need to worry because he was in her past and he had never been good for her and wanted to start a serious relationship with me.

Most people wouldn't pursue a relationship under these conditions in the first place.

[oceangaia]

Originally Posted by Benjamin1986

Thanks for the advice. I have asked her about her feelings towards him since she first mentioned him and she said that she would never go back to him if he got on his knees and begged which made me feel good then and I also asked if she felt ready for a serious relationship and said yes. However as you can see this issue still bothers me so I guess I need to sit down with her and have a heart o heart conversation before I make any decision.

She might not go back to him but she might share a night with him if the opportunity arises.

Fact is, she still thinks about him and the times they had. You can ask her not to talk about it so you don't have to hear it but you can't stop her from thinking about it. You're better off hearing it, at least then you'll know what she is thinking and feeling.

Another thing, don't "compare" relationships. Don't ask if she enjoys the sex with you better than him (or someone else), don't ask if she loves you as much as she did him, etc.

[Benjamin1986]

Originally Posted by oceangaia

She might not go back to him but she might share a night with him if the opportunity arises.

.

My biggest fear.