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They're not too busy; they're just trying to inflate their own egos (and others' perception of how 'important' they are), in addition to having a pre-made excuse for blowing people they're not interested in.
I'm assuming you mean giving them the brush off...
I think a lot of people go online thinking they want a relationship but not really wanting to make the effort to have one. They are looking for an easy fix and saying they are busy (in some cases, because they all probably have different reasons for saying they are) is a heads up that they don't want to invest a lot of time and effort in developing relationship. Maybe they just want to hang out and hope they really click with someone effortlessly.
This is true. I've been chatting with two girls like this now. Never fall for the just looking for friends tagline. That statement just means they can get the best of both worlds. They can spend as much time as they want with people, until they find the person they want to settle down with and pursue something with.
I've went out with one particular girl who truly just wants to be friends with me, and that's ok with me, but at the same time, I feel all we ever do as friends is eat and catch up with each other to dance on the weekends. It's not all that fulfilling, but I'm open to the experience of hanging out. She's good company and I like to dance.
They want to control their destiny of what they want to do and they want to experience as many different people as possible.
Agreed, if you're so busy, why bother trying to date??
I do realize that a lot of people do actually have busy lives, but I also think that sometimes peoples ego's get in the way and it can be a form of bragging....... IDK... hard to explain it really....
I suppose it can be, but for me, I have a HUGE family, and that means I have family events pretty much every weekend and often during the week. I work full time, and often have to work late. I go to the gym after work most nights that I can. I have a house and a yard to keep up, and I am the only sibling here to look after my parents, so I try and get over there once a week as well. Bragging? Hardly. It's just my life. I'd love to have more time. This is exactly why I don't (and won't) have a pet. I'm not home enough to care for it. Weekends are "dating time" for me, but I'd rather it not be all weekend, since that is the only time I have to tend to my parents/family/home/car/yard. My BF however, has different ideas. It's definitely one of our most difficult differences to deal with.
If you're that busy, why are you "looking" for a relationship?
Is "being busy" some sort of a status symbol?
i more or less wasted 5 months talking with a girl well woman she was in her 30s with no kids who was constantly out with her friends, staying in with family / friends, or doing something with her roommate. she NEVER was free to go out but once (we went out in september and then talked for another 4 months. took us a month just to go out once). i'd ask her every week what her weekend looked like and you guessed it..."i have _____________ going on or ______________ is coming into town or i'm headed out of town to _____________ for ________________". i finally stopped talking to her and she acted surprised when i told her it didn't seem like we were going anywhere. she then had the gumption to tell me we hadn't gone out a second time b/c I was always busy. ME?! always busy!!!! i'm the one pursuing and shes the one who always had her schedule filled. i found out from her roommate later on that she had a serious bf prior and it ended pretty bad so much so that she pretty much stayed busy as an excuse not to date more or less.
Being busy (with a full life) is a good way to weed out people who don't have anything to do, and are looking for you to create an "instant" life with you if you will. I have been on a few dates with people like this.
They start hinting with stuff like "that sounds really fun. It sounds like you have lots of friends....I can't wait to meet them and join you in those outings." In the first 10 minutes of meeting.
I always find, I don't get along with people that don't stay "busy." They end up being too clingy for me.
I don't think not being "busy" equates to clingy. don't get me wrong it could / can but in my case i'm not always "busy" and do have a lot of down time especially on weekends. i'm not clingy since i actually enjoy my alone time to sit out on my patio and chill for a night by myself. some girls would assume id be clingy since i'm not out doing something every waking minute of the day. they'd be wrong. not being busy gives me free time away from you to retain my sanity :-). ever think of that girls?
i more or less wasted 5 months talking with a girl well woman she was in her 30s with no kids who was constantly out with her friends, staying in with family / friends, or doing something with her roommate. she NEVER was free to go out but once (we went out in september and then talked for another 4 months. took us a month just to go out once). i'd ask her every week what her weekend looked like and you guessed it..."i have _____________ going on or ______________ is coming into town or i'm headed out of town to _____________ for ________________". i finally stopped talking to her and she acted surprised when i told her it didn't seem like we were going anywhere. she then had the gumption to tell me we hadn't gone out a second time b/c I was always busy. ME?! always busy!!!! i'm the one pursuing and shes the one who always had her schedule filled. i found out from her roommate later on that she had a serious bf prior and it ended pretty bad so much so that she pretty much stayed busy as an excuse not to date more or less.
Lesson learned for you. You sound like her backup who she dumps all her problems on, and lead on.
If she isn't willing to meet in two weeks, I'm out.
I was talking to this one woman, and she told me she is busy all the time with work and her hobby (stand up comedy). I said "so I have to make an appointment a month away?" She replied "It sounds terrible, but yes."
Me: You don't have time to date, and I wish you luck.
For me, if I see someone state they're 'busy' to me it just means that they're embarrassed that they have to have an online dating profile and that's their excuse. That they're too 'busy' to meet people in real life so they were forced to start online dating.
It could also mean they're into dating as many people as they can and then they can use 'sorry, I'm soooo busy' as an excuse when they're out with someone else and can't meet with you.
Or maybe they're busy. but I've never met a person who was 'too busy' for someone they really liked.
Well I really am that busy. But if i find someone worth it, I'll make time. I actually disabled my account though because I just didnt have the time and didnt think itd be fair. So chances are those people really arent that busy. Just dont want to make themselves look desperate i guess
And nah, its not a status thing. I wish i wasnt that busy but thats just my lifestyle.
Last edited by Gabriella Geramia; 03-10-2013 at 11:39 PM..
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It's definitely one of our most difficult differences to deal with.
