BMT Break Up

[KiloWhiskey98]

I am a new wife of a graduating marine....in fact we are going to pick him up from the airport in about twelve hours (who am i kidding, its 11 hours and 53 minutes )

This is NOT my first rodeo, my first love was AF, and I had my share of tender reunions and classic difficult 'first dates'. Don't be discouraged! It is *tough* but when you find the one you love through it all, you know NOTHING can beat that, since you have already gone through so much more than civilian couples can imagine, deployments and all. It takes a WARRIOR woman to be partnered for life with a WARRIOR of any branch.

Being 1) capable of living independently (including having a healthy social life, keeping up on family relationships, taking care of your fitness, not to mention bills and such, 2)having school or kids to focus on 3) and grounding yourself with other military Significant Others are going to be huge pillars of support for anyone embarking on the military career as a SO. Blessings on your efforts!

[Inacitysomewhere]

Originally Posted by SWFL_Native

Many women and men have affairs while their partners are enlisted in the military and serving abroad. He’s just protecting himself.

And so do many, many deployed soldiers.

[mwimb1]

This also happened to me.
I encouraged my then boyfriend to join the Airforce as it had always been his dream. I would speak to him whenever he had access to his phone and I would always be supportive, even when he was having doubts.

I would go and have dinner with his family once a week to try and keep some normality for us all. We would speak about his upcoming Graduation and how exciting it all was.

But as soon as he had his graduation and he came home for Christmas, a week before our 5 year anniversary he broke up with me. He wouldn’t look me in the eye when he spoke to me and wouldn’t give me any reason other than he “wants to be selfish and only think about himself”.

It absolutely crushed me as I thought we had a future together. But looking back I honestly think it was for the best. In our entire relationship he only ever thought about himself and what he wanted. When he was at basic training I saw a photo of him standing next to another girl (and though I encourage friendships across different genders - because hey I have a lot of guy friends too) this somehow felt different and my heart sank not even knowing this girl.

Turns out as soon as he broke up with me, she had flown down to Brisbane to spend New Years with him. This was 2 days before New Years.

And though I felt like I would never be happy or find anyone who would love me the way I loved him, I eventually met someone (on all places Tinder) and he has been the best support and partner I could ever ask for. He treats me how I want to be treated. He doesn’t just talk about the future but he acts on it and plans for it.

My only advice would be to listen to that intuition. If something feels weird, talk about it. And to never rely on someone else to give you happiness. Be open about what you want early in your next relationship. If you want kids and to get married, and you have a rough outline, tell your next partner. Don’t waste 5 years of your life to only realise you were the one only talking about the future.

I still get upset about how it ended as well as the friendship I thought we also had. But sometimes people are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. And your ex boyfriend would have taught you how you want your next relationship to be. Though it sucks, you will have learnt what you are willing to put up with and what you are not. And this will open you up to have a voice again.

Hang in there. Just remember, it can only go up from here