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This is more of a rant than me asking for advice... But over the course of my ongoing, 5-month relationship/dating saga with my current guy, I've developed a terrible nervous stomach, and it seems to be getting worse. I'm just sick (literally) of this happening to me, and I don't know why!
I've seen my guy 3 more times since then. That weekend, we went to a Cinco de Mayo party at my friend's place, then out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant, and everything went great. After that, he went to Las Vegas on vacation for 5 days, but I saw him again as soon as he got back. We went to a BBQ at his friend's place that night, and again, everything went great, but... the next day, I felt sick to my stomach as soon as I woke up. I ended up calling in sick to work that day. (I'd eaten a hamburger and drank 2 beers the night before, so I'm sure it wasn't food poisoning and/or a hangover.)
I'd been wanting to talk to my guy about how things are going with us, so that day I messaged him on Facebook. I told him again that I'm happy being with him, but that I wanted to talk to him a little more between dates (sometimes we don't talk for 3-4 days) and that I wanted to see him at least 2x per week, including more often on weekends. He responded the same day, apologizing that he's been so unavailable lately and telling me he'll be free the next couple of weekends. He also told me I could call or text whenever I want, and I shouldn't be nervous talking to him.
Anyway, I felt good having brought it up, and nothing was weird between us afterwards. We texted back and forth for the next several days, and made plans again to see each other this week. So, last night we met up after work, then headed to his neighborhood to have dinner. We hung out at his place for about an hour beforehand (like we usually do), and I drank a glass of wine. Then, it started happening again...
About 7pm, we were both getting hungry and trying to decide on a restaurant. We were sitting on his couch, when I suddenly felt light-headed and my stomach clenched. I told him I was feeling a little sick again, and that I needed about 10-15 minutes. He was cool about it, and told me not to be nervous. After a little bit, my stomach calmed down (without me throwing up this time) and we headed out. I was fine at the restaurant, although I'd lost my appetite, and could only eat a few bites of my dinner.
Our date was fine, and we didn't have trouble talking... though, we didn't discuss our Facebook conversation. At this point, though, we've been seeing each other regularly and we're being exclusive, so I'm just trying to chill out about "us." I didn't get sick and embarrass myself last night, but it's bothering me that I still get so nervous around this guy that I literally feel physically ill - like a combination of "butterflies" and anxiety. I mean... it's been FIVE MONTHS, I see him every week and he's never flaked or cancelled on me. He's receptive when I discuss what I want from the relationship, and we always have a great time together. Yeah, I realize he's kind of commitment-phobic... but then again, I like my independence and don't feel pressured by him... So, WHY do I still feel so edgy and high-strung around him?!
(On an unrelated note, on our way back to his place from the restaurant, we ran into one of his neighborhood friends walking his dog. When my guy introduced me, his friend said to me, "Wow, you are really beautiful!" It made me feel awesome, and I'm glad to know his friends "approve" haha! )
Anyhow, this Sunday my guy is having a big BBQ party at his place, for the holiday weekend. Most of his friends will be there (some of whom I already know, some who I've never met) and he encouraged me to invite some of my friends too. (Again, I'm nervous because he's only met one friend of mine before, whereas I've met several of his. So, I'm not sure who I should invite, if anyone...) I'm excited for the party, and glad I'll get to see him this weekend, but I'm worried about my stomach acting up again... Obviously, I'll go easy on the drinking, I'm just nervous about... well, getting nervous... and ending up sick again.
Finally, for those who suggested medical attention in my last thread... I AM planning on seeing my doctor soon. I'm due for my yearly exam, so I'm going to discuss the problem with my doc and see about getting a referral to a gastro-intestinal specialist. I just hate that this is happening to me, because it's really affecting my ability to date and enjoy my time with my guy...
This is more of a rant than me asking for advice... But over the course of my ongoing, 5-month relationship/dating saga with my current guy, I've developed a terrible nervous stomach, and it seems to be getting worse. I'm just sick (literally) of this happening to me, and I don't know why!
I've seen my guy 3 more times since then. That weekend, we went to a Cinco de Mayo party at my friend's place, then out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant, and everything went great. After that, he went to Las Vegas on vacation for 5 days, but I saw him again as soon as he got back. We went to a BBQ at his friend's place that night, and again, everything went great, but... the next day, I felt sick to my stomach as soon as I woke up. I ended up calling in sick to work that day. (I'd eaten a hamburger and drank 2 beers the night before, so I'm sure it wasn't food poisoning and/or a hangover.)
I'd been wanting to talk to my guy about how things are going with us, so that day I messaged him on Facebook. I told him again that I'm happy being with him, but that I wanted to talk to him a little more between dates (sometimes we don't talk for 3-4 days) and that I wanted to see him at least 2x per week, including more often on weekends. He responded the same day, apologizing that he's been so unavailable lately and telling me he'll be free the next couple of weekends. He also told me I could call or text whenever I want, and I shouldn't be nervous talking to him.
Anyway, I felt good having brought it up, and nothing was weird between us afterwards. We texted back and forth for the next several days, and made plans again to see each other this week. So, last night we met up after work, then headed to his neighborhood to have dinner. We hung out at his place for about an hour beforehand (like we usually do), and I drank a glass of wine. Then, it started happening again...
About 7pm, we were both getting hungry and trying to decide on a restaurant. We were sitting on his couch, when I suddenly felt light-headed and my stomach clenched. I told him I was feeling a little sick again, and that I needed about 10-15 minutes. He was cool about it, and told me not to be nervous. After a little bit, my stomach calmed down (without me throwing up this time) and we headed out. I was fine at the restaurant, although I'd lost my appetite, and could only eat a few bites of my dinner.
Our date was fine, and we didn't have trouble talking... though, we didn't discuss our Facebook conversation. At this point, though, we've been seeing each other regularly and we're being exclusive, so I'm just trying to chill out about "us." I didn't get sick and embarrass myself last night, but it's bothering me that I still get so nervous around this guy that I literally feel physically ill - like a combination of "butterflies" and anxiety. I mean... it's been FIVE MONTHS, I see him every week and he's never flaked or cancelled on me. He's receptive when I discuss what I want from the relationship, and we always have a great time together. Yeah, I realize he's kind of commitment-phobic... but then again, I like my independence and don't feel pressured by him... So, WHY do I still feel so edgy and high-strung around him?!
(On an unrelated note, on our way back to his place from the restaurant, we ran into one of his neighborhood friends walking his dog. When my guy introduced me, his friend said to me, "Wow, you are really beautiful!" It made me feel awesome, and I'm glad to know his friends "approve" haha! )
Anyhow, this Sunday my guy is having a big BBQ party at his place, for the holiday weekend. Most of his friends will be there (some of whom I already know, some who I've never met) and he encouraged me to invite some of my friends too. (Again, I'm nervous because he's only met one friend of mine before, whereas I've met several of his. I'm not sure which of my friends I should invite...) I'm excited for the party, and glad I'll get to see him this weekend, but I'm worried about my stomach acting up again... Obviously, I'll go easy on the drinking, I'm just nervous about... well, getting nervous... and ending up sick again.
Finally, for those who suggested medical attention in my last thread... I AM planning on seeing my doctor soon. I'm due for my yearly exam, so I'm going to discuss the problem with my doc and see about getting a referral to a gastro-intestinal specialist. I just hate that this is happening to me, because it's really affecting my ability to date and enjoy my time with my guy...
It just sounds like you have anxiety. I truly think that is all it is..Good luck with it and go see a doctor..
Honestly, I think you may just be really excited. It sounds like things are going really well, and excitement and anxiousness can cause the same physical reactions. Maybe you are so excited about everything that you are nervous its all going to suddenly blow up in your face? This is how I get when I'm really looking forward to something. It sucks because even excited anxiousness doesn't always feel great. But unless you think there are some valid reasons for being nervous around him (as in, you are scared he is hiding something, etc)... I agree, maybe it is something that can be toned down with a medication. I'm not a doctor but I am on a low dose of meds for anxiety and it helps me out a lot. How are you in regards to anxiousness in everyday life? Or is it just this guy? He sounds very patient and understanding and that is hard to find! Does it make your anxiousness any better after he tells you you have nothing to worry about and don't need to be nervous?
Have you experienced anything in the past that would make you afraid it will happen again with another guy, specifically this one?
Just a little tidbit to show you it does happen to others...When I was 16 and went on my first date my date threw up because if this same reason, and it happened again a couple dates later!
It is probably just nervous anxiety but it is good that you are going to speak to your Doctor about the issue. In between now and the Doctor's appointment how about checking into St John's Wort, it is herbal and helps balance emotions and mood.
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Do you have much experience with dating? I think you have anxiety disorder. I know a ton about it and I can get really nervous over the smallest things. When it happens it's like a train out of control.
Do you have much experience with dating? I think you have anxiety disorder. I know a ton about it and I can get really nervous over the smallest things. When it happens it's like a train out of control.
I agree with this post.
The frequency at which these issues are occurring for the OP is a problem.
OP, don't wait for your yearly exam. Set an appointment, and discuss it immediately with your doctor.
Personally, it is such a turn off to me when someone has an issue that they neglect and sweep under the carpet. It IS affecting your relationship. Eventually, if it goes untreated, most people will grow tired of your condition, and your lack of dealing with it appropriately.
Your anxiety levels are on the extreme high end. Go to the doctor, and address it. And don't be shameful about it. If addressed properly, you may over time not need the pill for help.
But don't let relationships fail cause 'you have it under control'.
You don't have it under control. Do something about it.
It kind of sounds like you have PTSD. Or, maybe you are just a very nervous person.
Either way, many people takes pills for such things, and they can help you.
Honestly, I think you may just be really excited. It sounds like things are going really well, and excitement and anxiousness can cause the same physical reactions. Maybe you are so excited about everything that you are nervous its all going to suddenly blow up in your face? This is how I get when I'm really looking forward to something. It sucks because even excited anxiousness doesn't always feel great. But unless you think there are some valid reasons for being nervous around him (as in, you are scared he is hiding something, etc)... I agree, maybe it is something that can be toned down with a medication. I'm not a doctor but I am on a low dose of meds for anxiety and it helps me out a lot. How are you in regards to anxiousness in everyday life? Or is it just this guy? He sounds very patient and understanding and that is hard to find! Does it make your anxiousness any better after he tells you you have nothing to worry about and don't need to be nervous?
Have you experienced anything in the past that would make you afraid it will happen again with another guy, specifically this one?
Just a little tidbit to show you it does happen to others...When I was 16 and went on my first date my date threw up because if this same reason, and it happened again a couple dates later!
Thanks, I really appreciated this. I've had some work stress recently, but that has calmed down in the past week. Lately, my stomach problems mainly happen around my guy, so I'm sure he's the reason...
I'm not worried about him "hiding" anything, per se. He's a geniunely good guy and 100% has his life together. Honestly though, I think he's a bit commitment-phobic. I know he's happy dating me, and wants me in his life. It's just tough to get him to commit - and I mean small things, like seeing each other every weekend. He's ALWAYS got things going on - trips, parties, plans with friends and family. I'm still trying to figure out where I fit into his life... and for that matter, how serious a relationship *I* really want with him. At this point, we're more than just friends, and we're romantically exclusive... but we're still not "boyfriend & girlfriend." And for me, sometimes I'm happy that way, sometimes it bothers me.
That said, I just really, really, REALLY like this guy... and I don't want to do anything to compromise what we've already got. He's smart, funny, chill, and we have great chemistry. I just want things to keep going the way they are... He's waaaay more laid-back about the whole thing than I am, and I have a tendency to hyper-analyze everything - especially my dating life - so I'm constantly worried about "screwing up" with him.
Seriously, though... I just don't get WHY. He's great. We like each other. We have no intentions of stopping seeing each other. We're exclusive to one another. I really have nothing to worry about with him ... but he makes me anxious, just the same.
Do you have much experience with dating? I think you have anxiety disorder. I know a ton about it and I can get really nervous over the smallest things. When it happens it's like a train out of control.
I have plenty of dating experience... However, around this time last year, I ended a 4-year LTR. I was single (dated casually, but never met anyone serious) until I met my new guy around Christmas time. We've dated regularly since then, and things are slowly progressing between us.
I called my doctor's office and made an appointment today. The soonest I could get in is 3 weeks from now. In the meantime, I'll read up and educate myself on anxiety disorder. It's quite possible it's affecting me. My mother and grandmother are both high-strung, anxiety prone women... and both have severe IBS, as well. Guess it's my turn now ...
Thanks, I really appreciated this. I've had some work stress recently, but that has calmed down in the past week. Lately, my stomach problems mainly happen around my guy, so I'm sure he's the reason...
I'm not worried about him "hiding" anything, per se. He's a geniunely good guy and 100% has his life together. Honestly though, I think he's a bit commitment-phobic. I know he's happy dating me, and wants me in his life. It's just tough to get him to commit - and I mean small things, like seeing each other every weekend. He's ALWAYS got things going on - trips, parties, plans with friends and family. I'm still trying to figure out where I fit into his life... and for that matter, how serious a relationship *I* really want with him. At this point, we're more than just friends, and we're romantically exclusive... but we're still not "boyfriend & girlfriend." And for me, sometimes I'm happy that way, sometimes it bothers me.
That said, I just really, really, REALLY like this guy... and I don't want to do anything to compromise what we've already got. He's smart, funny, chill, and we have great chemistry. I just want things to keep going the way they are... He's waaaay more laid-back about the whole thing than I am, and I have a tendency to hyper-analyze everything - especially my dating life - so I'm constantly worried about "screwing up" with him.
Seriously, though... I just don't get WHY. He's great. We like each other. We have no intentions of stopping seeing each other. We're exclusive to one another. I really have nothing to worry about with him ... but he makes me anxious, just the same.
You need to ask yourself whether this guy is right for you especially if he's making you so nervous that you're getting sick. You may be infatuated with the guy which in the long run probably won't lead to a long term relationship.
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haha! ) 
I've had some work stress recently, but that has calmed down in the past week. Lately, my stomach problems mainly happen around my guy, so I'm sure he's the reason...
