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There is no such thing as well deserved yelling...It's just a car- the "silent treatment" is very immature and is a form of abuse whether it is the woman or the man doing it...Don't bother with the silent treatment...Tell the husband that it was careless on your part and it's just a car...and try this ---but you have to be crying...."I thought that I was more important to you than a stupid piece of machinery?"
Yes,
He sulks, I am a klutz, before he gave me this car it was in CHERRY condition.
Yes, about the money for retirement but keep having to fix the car.
he is an a type and OCD...But who doesn't take pride in what they have and what they have worked hard for?
And who doesn't have issues in a marriage?
I just asked 1 question.
Great replies and assumptions though folks!
Husband just found a dent in the car..I knew I was going to catch hell for it.
he just had the same area fixed 5 months ago.( I took the side of the garage with my passenger front bumper)
I don't know which is more harsh. The total silent treatment, or well deserved yelling I got on the phone when he discovered it.
Which one makes you shudder when your other half gets upset.???
It's just a car.
[so the act that would make me shudder is the overreaction to a FIRST WORLD PROBLEM!]
Yes,
He sulks, I am a klutz, before he gave me this car it was in CHERRY condition.
Yes, about the money for retirement but keep having to fix the car.
he is an a type and OCD...But who doesn't take pride in what they have and what they have worked hard for?
And who doesn't have issues in a marriage?
I just asked 1 question.
Great replies and assumptions though folks!
Welp, YOU POSTED and asked, you got answers and now WE are the ones who are the bad people because you don't like some of the answers you have read..........makes me wonder who is more childish in this situation.
Issues in a marriage is very different than "Sulking, pouting, screaming and having a tantrum" when something does not go just as you think it should. It is ALL about partnership, maturity, communication, honesty (which I'm guessing is not a big part of your marriage since you hid the damage from him)...
Are you getting the idea of how marriage is now?
PS ~~ The next time you DO NOT WANT adverse answers to a post on a public forum.............
Uh-oh, sounds like the Geico commercial (or is that Allstate?)
Actually she is a very good driver. Very strict and proper when it comes to rules and regs. I'm a rolling stop kind of guy etc. But she has the worst luck with others backing into her car or banging doors in parking lot's.
And yes...she would have been perfect for that commercial about getting a reward check. SILENCE!
OP, do you work? If so, buy your own buggy for $2000. If not, ask him for the money for a beater Toyota. At this point, it would be cheaper than repeatedly repairing his car. Problem solved.
I think yelling would be reasonable if the dent is from, say hitting a small child and putting him/her in the hospital. At least, if it was his child. I would probably yell in that situation.
OP, I am sorry you are upset about people questioning your marriage. But your post is a textbook example of the kind of thinking people get into when they are in abusive relationships. You start to think of yelling and silence as annoying, but normal. They are not.
The silent treatment is actually emotional abuse perpetuated by people with personality disorders. If its part of your relationship, then I think you need to assess the situation with a therapist or a mental health provider. Its obvious you have been conditioned to this behavior for so long that it appears normal in your marriage. Its not! Healthy people usually are able to talk about the issues that is fair for both parties. By giving you the silent treatment it renders you voiceless and places your needs on the back burner.
Husband just found a dent in the car..I knew I was going to catch hell for it.
he just had the same area fixed 5 months ago.( I took the side of the garage with my passenger front bumper)
I don't know which is more harsh. The total silent treatment, or well deserved yelling I got on the phone when he discovered it.
Which one makes you shudder when your other half gets upset.???
We don't yell. Nor do we use the silent treatment.
We certainly don't lose our sh** over a stupid dent.
That's kind of effed up.
You think you "deserved" to get yelled at?
Wow.
More examples of relationships I cannot fathom or ever consider being in.
The silent treatment is actually emotional abuse perpetuated by people with personality disorders. If its part of your relationship, then I think you need to assess the situation with a therapist or a mental health provider. Its obvious you have been conditioned to this behavior for so long that it appears normal in your marriage. Its not! Healthy people usually are able to talk about the issues that is fair for both parties. By giving you the silent treatment it renders you voiceless and places your needs on the back burner.
+1. I had someone try this on me (a female was the perpetrator) once, it didn't last long since I cut her off, permanently. Like I said, either behave like an adult, or I'm outta here. Life's way too short to be playing these kinds of games.
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